3 ‘minimizing’ phrases you should never say at work, from a communication expert
Kate Mason, a former world champion debate, knows that your communication way may be as important as your message.
Mason living in Australia, Sydney, spent ten years in communication in companies such as Google and Youtube before without a executive coach and before establishing its own strategic communication company. Hedgehog + foxIn 2017.
With his studies as a communication coach, Mason noticed a pattern he calls “imposing syndrome”: Many professional, especially women, are extremely conscious about mixing or being “disturbing” in the workplace, which often causes them to remain silent and to minimize their success.
“A insidious effect on the work and postures of these self -underestimated habits,” he says.
“This leads to underestimation by extending themselves and their work,” he continues.
Mason’s goal of emphasizing these communication patterns is not to point to “all the ways we do wrong”. Instead, he hopes to provide resources to leaders, especially women who want to change communication patterns.
“It’s like a gentle approval: this is something, and if that doesn’t serve you, maybe you want to try it a little,” he says.
He shares his best views in his first book, “Strong Cute: A Woman Effective Communication Guide,” He left at the beginning of this month.
Here are three expressions that Mason recommends that all professionals with stronger alternatives to avoid in the workplace.
‘It will only take one second’
Mason, people who use this expression often act on “a very gentle, emotionally aware impulse” to respect the time of others.
In fact, according to Mason, it may be the opposite to prepare your conversation with “only one second to take one second”.
First, he says, “You have set an expectation to the other person that this will be very fast,” but “nothing literally takes a second.”
Mason, an unrealistic time estimation, may disturb or disappoint the person you are talking about.
“This person, in a few minutes, already a little disturbing because ‘wait, it would be just a second.’ ‘
Moreover, the expression also determines the expectation that everything you have to say is small or insignificant, Mason says Mason, upset your real message.
A better way to express your request, “I will take an hour for us next week. I want to talk to A, B and C. Let me know if this time works for you.”
In this re -expression, “Suddenly, I seem to come to you with something important and meaty and worthy of that time together,” he says.
“This is just more justice to re -frame it in this way, and you do it yourself,” he continues.
‘Don’t worry if not’
This sentence is often used to directly ‘soften’, says Mason, but is usually not really true.
“Often there that A dominant concern, “he says.
“Don’t worry if not”, Mason, who states that your demand is a low priority, “makes some evil to the question.”
When Mason hears this statement, he mentally descends to the to -do list.
“If you communicate with a manager or someone who is busy, and if you say to them ‘do not worry if not, and there is a concern, then we can put ourselves unnecessarily sticky, or he says.
Instead, Mason proposes to specify the purpose and time zone of your request. For example, “If you can send me your arrangements in the afternoon, I’m grateful, because the last draft is expected tomorrow.”
As stated in the Mason book psychological study From the 1970s If a reason was given behind people, he found that people have higher probability of obeying a demand.
In this context, people say, “often happy to help.”
‘I am not an expert but…’
Mason says that this statement will immediately make it look less reliable.
According to Mason, “I am not an expert” with “I’m not an expert” reduces your authority and reduces the uncertainty of telegraph: “immediately process your situation.”
Mason, especially when they feel conscious, minimize their success, especially if they see themselves as ‘strange’ in a group.
Whether you are the youngest or newest of the company in the room, “Regardless of this imbalance, we are hyper aware of it,” he says.
Being aware of your place in the professional hierarchy is not necessarily a bad thing, Mason says, but instead of underestimating your value, it recommends that you adopt the unique qualities you bring to the table.
Iz You haven’t been hired because you have the same expertise as the Vice President or C-Level Exec, or he says. “You were hired because you too your expertise. “
Mason, leaning on your powerful aspects can be “really strengthening”.
“When you start to notice, this is what I’m hired and this is the value I can bring, and what they want from me allows you to quit most of this hierarchical, status -oriented concern.”
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