Old-fashioned good manners are more important to young Britons than good looks, new study finds

Holding the door open for strangers and using a knife and fork correctly may have been cast aside as outdated by a generation raised on TikTok and antidepressants.

But a new study has found that young Britons still value old-fashioned behavior more than other qualities they look for in a partner – including good looks.

Both women and men identify ‘good manners’ and ‘politeness’ as among the most important traits they look for, challenging other research that suggests old-fashioned etiquette is seen as outdated by Generation Z.

The research, conducted for the Marriage Foundation think tank, asked more than 2,000 British adults aged 18-35 what they look for in a partner (green flags) and what their biggest obstacles are (red flags).

The survey found that 86 percent of women and 74 percent of men said ‘honesty’ was the number one green flag, followed by ‘kindness’ at 80 percent and 68 percent respectively.

Keeping your elbows off the table and not talking with your mouth full are classic bad manners (stock image)

Politeness and good manners are seen as essential qualities by both sexes; 67 percent of women and 53 percent of men say these are qualities they look for in a partner.

In contrast, only 23 percent of men and 35 percent of women cited ‘look’ as a green flag.

Citing the importance of politeness and etiquette, nearly six in 10 women (57 percent) and four in 10 men (43 percent) said bad behavior was a deal breaker for them.

The biggest “red flags” for young Brits were “public humiliations”, identified by 87 per cent of women and 69 per cent of men, and “private humiliations”, identified by 81 per cent of women and 59 per cent of men. This was followed by ‘flirting with others’ with 69 percent and 54 percent respectively.

Harry Benson, director of research at the Marriage Foundation, said: ‘Some surveys suggest that traditional behavior is seen as old-fashioned, even outdated, but as our data clearly shows, if you want to attract a partner, you need to be polite and mind your Ps and Qs.’

The research found that women in almost every category are more likely than men to say a particular trait is important. Appearance was the only quality more important to men than to women; It was evaluated as ‘very important’ by 35 percent of men and 23 percent of women.

But pollster Whitestone Insight’s survey of 2,008 adults nevertheless found that men and women tend to seek and avoid the same things in relationships.

Marital status also influenced what people said; A significant number of married men and women say that intelligence, ambition, practicality and appearance are more important than single people.

Mr Benson said: ‘The results show that both men and women overwhelmingly look for the same things in a potential partner or spouse. They value honesty, courtesy and good manners; They stay away from rude, flirtatious and bad-tempered people.’

He added that the findings were evidence that in the UK ‘faith and marriage remain the gold standard of what some might call ‘traditional values”.