Kim Kardashian says she felt financially unsafe in her marriage
Feeling financially insecure in a relationship can happen to anyone, even billionaires.
Kim Kardashian told host Alex Cooper in October that ex-husband Kanye West’s unpredictable spending habits, including buying multiple Lamborghinis out of the blue and giving them away at once, contributed to her decision to end their marriage in 2021. section From the “Call Her Dad” podcast.
“I don’t feel safe physically, or even emotionally, or even financially,” Kardashian said. “It’s a really uncomfortable feeling.”
We need money in life to pay bills or buy shelter and food; That’s why lack of financial security or financial insecurity is scary for most people, says Erika Wasserman. financial therapist and CEO of Your Financial Therapist, based in Parkland, Florida.
The average person’s unpredictable spending habits might not require buying five Lamborghinis at once, Wasserman says, but it might look like impulsively buying five Lego sets or taking out a new line of credit. Any situation where you disagree with a partner with whom you share finances is likely to cause a significant amount of tension, he says.
“When you can’t trust the partner you’re with about how you spend, save, and invest your money, you become fearful and fearful,” says Wasserman. “Then it spills over into other aspects of your relationship.”
Financial intimacy can make or break your relationship
Wasserman says financial intimacy should be as important as emotional or sexual intimacy in a relationship, but people often skip talking about their finances because it’s taboo or uncomfortable.
One October study by business software company Intuit It found that 37% of U.S. consumers began sharing their salaries with their partners around the time they decided to date exclusively. Wasserman says that’s not enough: More people should talk about their finances when forming serious relationships.
Our financial habits affect everything in life. While money isn’t the reason most couples fall in love, financial behavior can make or break a relationship after the initial spark fades, Wasserman says.
If couples disagree and “there’s no habit change or plan, the spread tends to get bigger,” Wasserman says. “This is where you see relationships start to fall apart.”
The #1 red flag to watch out for
Wasserman says the biggest red flag to look out for when determining whether you’ll be financially compatible with a partner is stonewalling. Someone who avoids talking about money or hides their spending at the beginning of a relationship will likely continue that behavior as things progress, she says.
“If you’re both willing to work on it [financial intimacy]”But if one person is out of control, it won’t work in any part of your relationship — sex, religion, money. If neither of you are willing to work on it and be open, then it’s time to evaluate the relationship,” Wasserman says.
Promote financial intimacy through storytelling
When building financial intimacy and security, focus on sharing your financial habits through storytelling, such as sharing how often you went out to eat as a child or your grocery shopping experiences with your parents. Direct questions about financial habits “tend to keep people on their toes,” Wasserman says.
If you must be direct, which Wasserman says can be important and appropriate at times, do so “with compassion and empathy.” Understand that your partner may have a different background than you, and that may shape their perspective on money conversations.
Ultimately, the best thing you can do to set yourself up for success is to “start the conversation,” Wasserman says. “Financial intimacy takes time. It grows together. It’s open conversations. It’s being vulnerable.”
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