Tutor sought for £180k job to teach baby to become a ‘gentleman’

“A family living in North London is looking for an exceptional and experienced teacher to support their youngest child in his first steps towards becoming an English gentleman.”

While reading this ad you would be forgiven for missing the words “first steps” so to speak.

But that might be the most important part of this unique job posting because it’s looking to find a tutor for a one-year-old child.

Hundreds of applications have been submitted since the anonymous family published their request for a £180,000-a-year tutor who must be “someone very special”.

Over the last few weeks, the ad has attracted attention in the media and many people are asking why.

Adam Caller, founder and CEO of Tutors International, which assisted the family in their search, said he found the idea “farsighted” and “progressive” despite initial skepticism.

When he met the family, he said, they appreciated the unusual nature of their request and how young their son was.

However, they explained that they “didn’t want to wait any longer” to get a private tutor because they had waited until their older child was five and by that stage “cultural bias had already set in”.

So what does the family mean by “cultural bias”?

“Everything,” the man replied. “The way you eat, the way you talk”.

He said the older sibling picks up “really subtle, nonverbal cues” from the family and adopts their cultural ways. The family told Adam they didn’t want history to repeat itself with their new baby.

Plan: Bringing in a British teacherThe person who needs to speak with Received Pronunciation to impress the baby from the very beginning.

“A lot of the initial learning here is kind of osmotic,” Adam said.

The family hopes that through this transition the child will acquire the British characteristics they want to instill.

The teacher should be someone who went to “the right kind of schools, the kind of schools the family wishes to send their son to,” the man said.

“The teacher has to be the right kind of person, they will do things they don’t even realize they are doing, naturally,” he said.

The family told Adam that in order to engage the child in a wide range of interests, the successful candidate would ideally have knowledge of or interest in horseback riding, skiing, art and music.

Moreover, he said, the family asked the teacher to enroll the child in various classes so that the child “was able to ride a pony and pick up an instrument when he turned three.”

In the family’s mind, helping their son become an “English gentleman” will lead to success and open doors.

“For all the rights and wrongs of this, because it is definitely a class statement,” he adds.

So, despite all this tutelage in “Britishness”, can the child pick up the so-called cultural prejudices from the international family he lives with?

“Yes,” said Adam. “The family knows it won’t work but they’ve taken the view of ‘let’s try it and go as early as possible’ because the cost of it doesn’t matter,” he said.

There are some in the tutoring industry who share these concerns.

Peter Cui, CEO and founder of Blue Education, which also offers private lessons, wrote: on a blog “The process of becoming bicultural, or indeed becoming oneself, is something that must be lived, not designed.”

Peter wrote that he moved from China to England at the age of seven and grew up knowing and experiencing both cultures. He continued his education at Cambridge University.

“The idea that an individual, someone who could somehow convey the qualities of an English gentleman to a one-year-old child, could serve as a living bearer of Englishness strikes me as an idealistic and unrealistic idea,” he wrote.

“In my experience, having a fully English teacher from infancy will not automatically produce the outcome they desire.

“I have never had a figure like this, but I am still lucky enough to have many of the experiences they desire for their sons.”

He added: “The truth is that cultural identity cannot be imposed from outside; it must be chosen and come from within.”

Of course, Britishness is something Adam hopes can be taught and sold.

“I think the fact that the world is keeping us on this is also something we should value and take advantage of,” he said.

“As British people, I don’t think we should be ashamed of this,” the man said.

“I think we should be proud of that.

The market for buying Britishness not only helps Adam’s tutoring business, it also gives rise to businesses such as Laura Windsor’s Etiquette Academy.

Laura, like other “etiquette experts”, can teach people – for a fee – how to have afternoon tea, dress and chat “like an Englishman”.

“Society has become so diluted and uncontrolled that people now want to go back to the way it was,” he said.

He said demand for etiquette training comes mainly from international clients looking to interact at business meetings and events.

But he also teaches groups of children. From where?

“Because being a polite gentleman or gentlemanly woman is all about first impressions,” she said.

“Being kind means respecting other people and making them feel comfortable and important. When you make people feel important, you are loved, and it opens the doors to incredible opportunities.”

He said he teaches people that it’s all “in the details”: “It’s about opening doors, saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and thinking about the other person.”

Laura’s students are usually never more than a year younger, but the etiquette expert says it can pay to start at that age.

“Starting with someone, they will grow into a gentleman and so it’s not a matter of ‘fine-tuning’, it’s about who they are.

“Whereas today, people need a little bit of tweaking to be a little more aware of what they’re doing,” he said.

Raising his children as a classic Englishman (despite all manners) is not parent Daniel’s (not his real name) priority.

“Instead of leaning on British values, we wanted the opposite. We are trying to move away from the UK system and its straitjacket,” he said.

Daniel is currently hiring one of Adam’s super teachers to work with his three kids during school hours.

Next year, the teacher will accompany the entire family when moving abroad for work.

For Daniel and his wife, it’s about teaching emotional intelligence and preparing their children for a world influenced by Artificial Intelligence. Neither of them believe this is possible without an outside teacher.

Stating that the current British school system is “not fit for purpose”, a private school in London Latimer Upper School, It has now stopped using most of the GCSE examination system and instead uses its own in-house system, which includes more group study activities and project-based learning.

“If GCSE isn’t going to be recognized everywhere and isn’t the gold standard, maybe we’d be better off turning to a teacher where we can get a lot more out of that,” Daniel said.

“Right here in the UK school system right now, if I look at the quality of teachers and the quality of teachers my children would get in a private school, it’s a complete joke; there’s a real inconsistency,” he said.

He acknowledged that hiring a top teacher was for “those who are financially fortunate” but said private school fees were expensive. Increased after VAT was added in JanuaryHe felt that the cost of a private tutor became comparable for three children.

“My children may have one-twentieth the attention span of the average person in school, or they may have one-third the attention span of an absolutely exceptional person – it’s an absolute no-brainer.”