Doctor’s 10-word conclusion changed my life forever – and 1 change NHS must make | UK | News
“I’m sorry to tell you you have prostate cancer.” It is 11:47 a.m. on a Tuesday morning in October 2021 and I have been diagnosed with prostate cancer. It’s a very surreal experience. “What… me?” says a voice in my head. I turned around to see who the doctor was talking to because it couldn’t be me, right? Cancer can happen to others, right? But it’s mine. And this is happening. “So… what happens next?”
The doctor told me there were two possibilities. I don’t absorb everything he says. I look at the booklet containing various numbers and letters. The nurses explain what is written on the page: The situation is serious, I have options. I need to make a decision in the next few weeks. I leave the room with a thick stack of booklets and papers in my hand. Is this new? I ask myself outside the room.
This wasn’t in the script. When you read the statistic that says one in eight men (one in four Black men) will be diagnosed with prostate cancer, you don’t expect to be that person.
I meet my wife, who is waiting for me at a cafe (she couldn’t come to the diagnostic meeting with me due to COVID restrictions). I tell him and we talk about it.
Emotions are flying around in my head. How do you process it all? Fighting cancer is not just about fighting the disease. It’s about your emotional response to what’s happening, the results of the treatment, the feasibility of receiving the treatment. And we talk about it.
My wife was very supportive of him. I was also able to talk to my friend Andy, who coincidentally had the same diagnosis two months before mine. My daughter is a nurse; Talking to him helped him. This helped me process my decision and plan for the next few months. This support helped me stay balanced in terms of my mental health.
So in February 2022, I began exploring the possibility of creating a support group for men with prostate cancer; We had our first meeting two months later. Within 18 months we had to move to a larger venue to accommodate the increasing number of attendees at our meetings.
Because you don’t have to deal with this alone. Tackle Prostate Cancer supports over 150 Prostate Cancer Support Groups across the UK. Their goal is to offer ongoing emotional support to people with prostate cancer needs, whether they are preparing for cancer treatment, going through a course of treatment, or moving on with their lives.
All prostate cancer patients should ideally have access to mental health support. This belief is why I lead a support group that meets twice a month in Huddersfield. Everyone who participates has the opportunity to share what is going on in their lives. Sometimes people are sad, sometimes they are angry, but by talking about it they have a chance to process and release those emotions.
Most importantly, they share it with people just like them who have been treated and can share their experiences.
Humor and positive mental health are very important ways to cope with prostate cancer. We hold monthly Pilates sessions with a local Pilates teacher; We organize monthly walks in the local area and occasional wild swims. Most of the group supports the “5K Your Way” ParkRun every month.
Our group of partners, which started last year, recognizes that cancer affects more than the person diagnosed. Thanks to our close relationship with our local hospital’s urology department, we’re able to tell men about our group when they actually get diagnosed, so they can access support fairly quickly.
Seven of our group have recently trained as peer coaches; They have ensured that all information is supportive but unbiased, with a particular focus on helping men who need to make choices about treatment pathways.
This initiative was officially launched this month, thanks to Movember and Tackle Prostate Cancer. My first treatment is over. If he comes back I’ll take care of it.
Our support group doesn’t let cancer define us. We share stories, we laugh, we get sad sometimes, but we get by. First of all, we are talking about this. And when we do that, things get a little easier.
All cancer patients deserve this kind of support and that’s why I’m supporting the Daily Express’ Cancer Care campaign. All cancer patients should have access to mental health support during and after treatment.
