AARON PATRICK: Scott Galloway’s ‘Notes on Being a Man’ becomes a breakout guide to friendship, careers and sex

“There is nothing more dangerous than a lonely, broke young man,” writes marketing trainer Scott Galloway, who has emerged as one of the most persuasive advocates for how to fix men.

Do they need to be fixed? Professor Galloway argues in his popular new book, Notes on Being a Man, that men and boys are in crisis.

In a society where traditional masculinity is seen as destructive, men faced with an education system that is “biased against them” are dropping out of school, abandoning their families, and killing themselves at rates comparable only to the dramatic improvement in women’s lives.

The new generation of young men is “excruciatingly lonely, economically unviable, emotionally unsustaining, and basically adrift,” he writes.

“This is a malevolent force in any society, and a truly terrifying force in a society addicted to social media and filled with guns and brutality.”

Professor Galloway’s proposal to halt the decline of men runs counter to the feminist principles that have dominated discussions about sexual equality for decades: she argues that men are designed to protect, provide and reproduce, and that they should embrace these positive elements of masculinity.

“There is no such thing as toxic masculinity,” he writes.

“There is cruelty, criminality, bullying, predation (consuming others), and abuse of power. If you are guilty of any of these, or if you combine being a man with rudeness or brutality, you are not manly; you are anti-man.”

performative man

Perhaps the re-election of Donald Trump, the Western world’s leading enforcer of traditional male leadership, has made arguments for chivalry seem less daring than in the past. A counter-movement is emerging at some universities mocking the “performative man,” the tendency of young men to post videos depicting themselves as sensitive and emotionally aware.

At campus competitions in San Francisco, Toronto and London, participants competed for laughs by ironically reciting poetry, wearing store fashions and handing out tampons, according to Jillian Sunderland, a PhD student at the University of Toronto.

One goal is to help men and women meet, a laudable goal in a world dominated by online dating, where 45 percent of men under 25 have never approached a woman in person, he wrote on Friday.

The discussion can quickly turn from funny to deadly serious.

On Tuesday, the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, sponsored by the United Nations, commemorates one of humanity’s greatest challenges.

Liberal leader Sussan Ley read out the names of 62 of the 74 women killed last year in parliament today. Parliament will be illuminated with orange light to mark the day.

11 per cent of NSW men admit to forcing their partner or ex-partner into sex, according to figures released by the NSW Government today. The figures are based on research by the charity The Men’s Project; According to this research, most men and boys reject traditional male stereotypes, such as appearing tough and in control, but tragically, 30 percent of 18 to 30-year-olds have considered suicide in the previous two weeks.

“Men may not personally agree (with society’s expectations), but they definitely feel the pressure,” study author Jane Lloyd told The Nightly.

male stress

You don’t have to be a college professor to conclude that there’s a connection between domestic violence and men’s feelings of self-worth. While Professor Galloway identifies causes of male stress, such as the inability to make emotional connections, feelings of professional and financial failure, physical disabilities and struggle to find sexual partners, she notes that “men should always strive to make women feel safe.”

Although he is a business and personal development guru currently based at New York University and has one of the best podcasts in the US, Professor Galloway’s track record of failure adds to his credibility.

He grew up as an unconventional, virginal teenager into a bottom-of-the-class business school student who graduated as an arrogant and soon-to-fail online entrepreneur.

“The only thing remarkable about me,” he writes in Notes on Being a Man, “was my willingness to endure repeated failure.”

When his father abandoned him and his mother, they moved from middle class to working class. His mother, a secretary, was absent, but she was devoted to making her son an attractive person. “He basically worked overtime to help me get laid,” she wrote.

looking for sex

Modern character building for young men these days diminishes the importance of gender; This is mainly because many examples of teenage rape and sexual assault create the perception that sex is viewed by young men as a birthright. Consent education has become a mainstay of the Australian education curriculum, thanks in part to young Sydney advocate Chanel Contos, who shared her experiences with boys at private school parties.

One unintended consequence seems to be that young men become ashamed of sex and afraid to approach women; It’s a problem Professor Galloway struggles with. The pursuit of profit and sex has consumed his life, and he places these at the center of his guide to male happiness.

“The pursuit of sex is healthy, noble and wonderful,” he writes. “Straight young men are often interested in straight young women because they want to have sex. We tend to act like there’s something wrong with that. There isn’t.

“Sex and the pursuit of it leads to romance and intimacy. It lights a fire for young men to improve themselves to become more attractive potential mates and help them reach their potential.”

The path to sexual success is no different than career success. Study hard, Professor Galloway, and understand that “balance is a myth, only trade-offs exist.”

“Focus on work, relationships, and fitness as a teenager,” she writes.

“If you’re in your twenties, be a warrior, mentally and physically. Fitness sends a signal that you’re disciplined and determined and can be proud of who you are.”

Criticism

Three weeks after its release, Notes on Being a Man sits at No. 13 on Amazon’s US bestseller list; This shows the intense interest of men who want to be decent and successful people.

The message was not universally welcomed. Monash University sociology professor Steven Roberts last week criticized Professor Galloway as a “men in crisis” commentator who portrays women’s sexual and romantic choices as if it were a business. He argued that men are lonelier than women.

Dr. “Galloway’s diagnosis confuses a broad social malaise with a gender-specific pathology,” Roberts wrote on ABC’s website.

Had Professor Galloway read the review he would probably have been upset. He admits to being sensitive even to criticism from online Russian bots and suffering from bouts of depression.

Now, at 61, he is starting to find peace. “I hate my life less and less every day,” he writes.