Want to spend less this holiday? Let people know with 6 phrases, says expert
The holiday season brings up a mix of emotions for most of us: joy, pressure, love, expectations, excitement, and sometimes financial anxiety.
Between gift shopping, meetings, perfect decorating, and travel, the pressure to look grand can weigh more than the holiday ham. As a financial therapist, I’m here to tell you this holiday and every holiday after: You are allowed to set boundaries and protect your financial well-being without a long explanation.
Speak with confidence using these six phrases to be more responsible with your money this holiday season.
1. ‘I have a few pressing financial priorities, so I need to downsize this year.’
This is a calm and clear way to let people know that your focus has changed. It reminds them that you have responsibilities outside of the holiday season and you choose to honor them. It also opens the door to understanding without inviting questions or explanations you don’t want to give.
2. ‘Instead of buying gifts for everyone, let’s exchange gifts. ‘My wallet needs some breathing space.’
Many people feel the same holiday pressure but are afraid to say it first. When you bring this up, you create space for an honest conversation about what is manageable. This approach helps keep everyone simple while also taking your financial limits into consideration.
3. ‘I can contribute time, but not money. Put me on set-up or clean-up duty!’
Acts of service are still acts of love. You show up in a way that won’t drain your bank account but shows that you care. Most people will appreciate this offer and happily accept it.
4. ‘Can we play board games and relax this holiday season? ‘My money looks a little strange.’
A little humor softens the message and makes the moment relatable. This is honest and keeps the conversation light. This could be a board game, a craft, or something your family enjoys before holiday spending turns into a competition. This may even become a new tradition that emphasizes connection over cost.
5. ‘I love you all, but I can’t host this year. My capacity is not there. How can we change that this year?’
Some families have rituals where everyone naturally gathers at one person’s home each year. But circumstances change, and you are allowed to change with them. Talking early helps others adjust their expectations and make new plans without stress or confusion.
6. ‘I try to avoid overspending, so I’ve ditched Amazon and anything else that might tempt me outside of my budget.’
This is simple and easy for others to understand. He names a financial habit most people can relate to, and the humor softens the truth. It keeps everything honest without making the moment awkward.
Your financial situation may change, but your love for your family does not change.
Being honest about your situation is one thing, but guilt can creep in during these moments.
This can leave you feeling like you’re letting people down, especially in a season that celebrates generosity and togetherness; But guilt often has little to do with the money itself. This often stems from the fear that changing what we can give means changing who we are to the people we love, which is simply not true.
So here are a few things to keep in mind to help combat any feelings of guilt as you navigate this time of year.
- Remember your “why.” Keeping your peace of mind, valuing your finances, focusing on your mental health, and avoiding debt are valid reasons to make different choices.
- Lead with openness. When you communicate early and honestly, you stop imagining people’s reactions and start building understanding. Most of the time, others are relieved that you’ve spoken up because they feel the same way.
- It’s okay to evolve. You no longer have to follow traditions that don’t fit your financial reality. It’s okay to change, simplify, and create new traditions that feel emotionally and financially secure.
- Use language that sounds like you. If you’re direct, choose something simple. If you’re shy, choose something soft. If you use humor to relieve tension, go for it. When your words become more like you with these expressions, the feeling of guilt loses its power.
- Love is not measured by how much you spend. Changing your capacity is not the same as changing your love. Your financial situation may change, but your love and care for your family does not.
jasmine johnson is a certified financial therapist and financial advisor. Budgeting blends behavioral psychology with practical strategy to guide people through debt, financial anxiety, and real-life money decisions. Jasmine is a bi-weekly financial expert and founder of BakersfieldNOW News. Happy Money.
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