Former Prince Andrew is butt of the year’s best Christmas cracker joke | Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor
It’s safe to say it’s been a very bad year for former Prince Andrew. Already stripped of his title and privileges, the man rounds out the year by becoming the punchline of the year’s most popular Christmas cracker joke.
The annual competition is organized by comedy channel U&Gold (formerly Comedy Gold) and is decided by the British public. A current winner emerges, usually delivering one of the biggest stories of the year.
This year’s winner was written by Chelmsford’s Ben Smith, who succinctly summed up Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor’s fall from royal status: “Why isn’t Prince Andrew writing any Christmas books? He doesn’t have any titles!” Smith received a huge prize which included £1,500 for a holiday.
A second joke about the former Duke of York also ranked fourth in this year’s top 10 list; This shows that the story has a firm place in the collective consciousness of the British public. It goes like this: “What do Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor and a snowman have in common? They’re both out in the cold.”
This year’s list of finalists also includes politicians Angela Rayner and Nigel Farage, as well as festive jokes about celebrities such as Lily Allen and David Harbor (whose acrimonious divorce is the subject of Allen’s latest album), pop star Sabrina Carpenter and Traitors presenter Claudia Winkleman.
Coming in second is a joke about Oasis, whose long-awaited reunion tour last summer became a major pop culture moment. “Why don’t Noel and Liam want to open their presents early on Christmas morning?” he asks jokingly. “They need some time to wake up.”
Comedy critic Bruce Dessau, chairman of the judging panel that filters the jokes before they are put to a public vote, said it was “an absolutely stellar list of jokes this year – probably one of our best yet in the 13 years that U&GOLD has been running this competition.”
He added: “There have been plenty of newsworthy moments in 2025 and there’s a real mix of topical jokes here that have been mocked in some of the year’s headlines.”
UKTV director Gerald Casey said: “Another fantastic year full of hilarious entries that show the British public are as funny as ever when it comes to the news.”
While last year’s winner was about Keir Starmer’s freebies, 2023’s winning joke was mocked at the British Museum.
The top 10 jokes of this year:
1. Why isn’t Prince Andrew writing any Christmas books? He doesn’t have any title.
2. Why don’t Noel and Liam want to open their presents early on Christmas morning? They need some time to wake up.
3. Which pop star carved his own wooden nativity scene? Sabrina Carpenter.
4. What do Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor and the snowman have in common? They’re both out in the cold.
5. What is a French thief’s favorite Christmas movie? It’s actually in the Louvre.
6. Could Lily Allen and David Harbor get back together for Christmas? Stranger Things Happened.
7. Why isn’t Angela Rayner buying any Christmas gifts this year? Santa Claus can’t decide which address to deliver to.
8. What is Claudia Winkleman’s favorite part of Christmas dinner? Taters.
9. Will Celia Imrie beat her family at Christmas party games? Yes, it outshines them all.
10. Where has Santa been more than Nigel Farage? His house in Clacton.
