My mother-in-law is still driving despite a near miss. How can we stop her? | Family

Mine mother -in -law Still drivinging. A few months ago, after a close longing, we told him that he would no longer drive with our children in his car and we there grateful He immediately accepted – but he was also confused because he didn’t do it Think of stopping completely.

A Year ago, he developed cataract and was told to quit driving. Coping Using free bus crossing and walkingHe’s good for his health that he doesn’t care about and knows. But cataract treated, doctor I told him It could take it again.

Recently, HCar insurance He paid a heavy amount that we thought would be renewed and spent better for those taxis.

My mother -in -law has been ‘useful’ and she is very proud All four children grew up as kind, helpful people. Continues to drive because practical, And it offers elevators to the old friends we fear that there is an accident waiting to happen. I love he My dear and he hated any harm.

We live a littleFar away than other children who help him the most with finance and some practical things. If he leaves that driving, we notice It may need more help that does not have the capacity to provide. However, we feel risks for himself and society overweight Any discomfort wider family.

Please give us a scenario that we can use to express ourselves in a new way. The other children continue to underestimate our concerns and I don’t know what to say to convince him It is his turn to look and have a driver by others.

This has become an increasingly common problem. A few years ago, I remember talking to Psychotherapist Chris Mills about the mother of a friend who has dementia and is no longer a safe driving driving. He said something I never forgot: “If we were talking about a gun, no one would hesitate to remove it. He could still kill a car.” That’s why I went to Mills again with your letter.

“A ‘scenario’ request is easy,” he said, “My mother -in -law, ‘We don’t believe your driving is safe and we want you to give up your car before you get hurt and pass it out of another way.’

It is a great deal to realize that you are in the stage of life where you cannot do anything anymore. So you’re right to print carefully. I will emphasize how much you care about it and the help you can still give you.

“But,” Mills continued, “Before I continue this, I’m not clear why You He’s taking this instead of your husband – why did you write this letter, not him. He is his son and his brothers’ brother. Generally, there is someone in the family with “canary ve and sees something before others. But can you carry the risk of being thrown as the rock that intervenes excessively? “

Mills suggests that your husband can contact the GP to ask for re -evaluation of your driving ability. “There is no guarantee that your mother -in -law or your brothers will approve of any of them, but that should not prevent what she does. HE He believes that it is the right thing – that is, in the absence of his mother’s agreement, the potentially dangerous driving decision is transferred to the relevant authority. “

In the UK and Wales, DVLA licenses and cancels them, or may ask for a medical approval that someone is suitable for driving. You can also report your concerns to the following address. Through DVLA websites.

Keep in mind that this will be more than just driving, so please give your mother -in -law to assurance how much is still needed.

Annalisa Barbieri deals with a personal problem sent by a reader every week. If you want advice from Analyisa, please send your problem to this address. Ask.annalisa@theguardian.com. Annalisa regrets that she can’t get in personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to Our provisions and conditions. Annalisa’s Podcast’s latest series is available Here.