How a ‘grief makeover’ erased 20 years of family tragedy from my face. Here are the five tweakments that ‘reupholstered’ my forehead, cheeks and lips

I recently looked at a photo from a girls’ night out in horror. My smiling girlfriends, in their 50s, looked at least 20 years younger.

I was dressed carefully, did my hair, and did my make-up, but I couldn’t hide my hollow eyes, exhausted face, and deep wrinkles.

Pain was engraved on my features. When I looked at that photo and my reflection, I felt like I was looking directly at the story of my life.

In 2003, at the age of 29, I suddenly found myself widowed with two young children; six-year-old Emily and my two-year-old son Alex.

The shock was huge. I moved in with my parents in north London who wrapped their arms and hearts around us.

Their love and support gave me the strength to move forward. I eventually found myself falling in love with an old friend of mine, Adam’s, and in 2010, to everyone’s joy, I became pregnant with my third child.

My mother, who was in her early 70s at the time, was thrilled. I was always looking forward to her being the same wonderful grandmother to this baby Jacob that she was to my older two children. But I soon realized something was wrong.

He started calling me multiple times a day to have the same conversation. Then he started leaving the gas stove or hot tap on. He was eventually diagnosed with dementia.

The slow and relentless loss of his mind was unbearable. I love my mother and father very much, but I have always been my mother’s daughter. My mother was lively, generous and infinitely kind.

It hurt my heart to watch it disappear piece by piece. The day my father, brother and I decided that she needed to go to a home for her own safety was one of the worst days of my life.

I was devastated when he died in 2017 at the age of 80, but for some time I firmly believed that I was facing the worst that life could throw at me. I was wrong.

Two years later, in 2019, the unthinkable happened. Emily, then a beautiful and intelligent 22-year-old girl, died unexpectedly after a catastrophic fall, leaving her three-year-old daughter motherless.

Even now I can barely say the words. It was terribly traumatic for all of us. We were all in deep mourning; perhaps even more so, because his sudden death meant we had no time to prepare ourselves.

People often ask how I cope with these tragedies. The answer is that I had to do it for my two sons (Alex is now 21 and Jacob is 15) and my ten-year-old grandson, who came to live with me after Emily’s death. There’s no such thing as falling apart when so many people depend on you.

My partner was my rock. My daughter died in the spring and he proposed in September. We got married that December. Life felt too short and unpredictable to waste another moment.

I’ve learned to find joy wherever I can, which I think you should do when you’re faced with trauma. I think about my mother and daughter every day, especially my granddaughter, who is very similar to her mother in both appearance and personality. But I know they wouldn’t want me to be unhappy.

Yet every time I looked in the mirror, I saw the years of pain permanently etched on my face.

My prematurely sunken cheeks, deep lines, and tired eyes were a constant reminder of everything I had endured.

About a year ago I decided to do something to help me feel more confident.

I started asking my girlfriends, whom I was jealous of in that photo, about their secrets, and to my surprise, most of them admitted that they had had Botox.

One that looks particularly fresh and natural is her doctor, Dr. He recommended Ivona Igerc.

Before and after photos of Laura Gee. ‘Dr Ivy made me feel great before I even picked up a needle,’ she adds

I liked that he was properly qualified, he was definitely not someone who was injecting in his kitchen. Still, I was nervous. But in Dr Ivy’s own words, she immediately put me at ease.

She made me feel great before I even picked up a needle. He looked at me and said, ‘Oh darling, you are so beautiful!’ he said. and somehow he made me believe it.

I was very clear about what I wanted: to look fresh, not frozen. I told him, ‘I just want you to take a break for a few years and give me back my self-confidence.’ And he got the briefing exactly.

He gave me Botox as I expected, but also suggested a small amount of filler. He said this would help restore volume and bring back my glow, and I trusted him to do it right.

Surprisingly none of it really hurt. I just felt a little stinging. The tiny needle marks left on my face quickly faded.

It took about two weeks for me to notice results. One morning I looked in the mirror and thought, ‘Oh hello, that’s the face I’ve been missing.’

My husband loves me just the way I am. I’m so glad you did this, but even though some may find it futile, I’m very happy with the results. My face could still move, it could still express emotion, but I looked rested, happy and alive again.

Having these slight adjustments gave me my confidence back. When I look in the mirror now, I don’t just see the pain of the past. I see a woman who survived.

Of course, there is always the question of how far to go. When do you stop? When do you allow yourself to age naturally and will people be shocked when it happens? But for now, I want to enjoy feeling much better.

I actually noticed a month ago that I was starting to look tired again and went to Dr. for a little boost. I went back to Ivy. Now I feel fresher and brighter once again.

There is no cure for grief, especially of this magnitude. But I truly believe that when you look good, you feel good. And no matter how superficial it may seem, any ‘feel good’ is worth experiencing.

It’s part of my hard-won philosophy of finding joy wherever possible, and if that joy comes from a little syringe or two, so be it.

*Some names have been changed for privacy reasons

As told to Leah Hardy

How tweaks helped bring Laura’s face to life

By aesthetic doctor Dr Ivona Igerc

Aesthetic doctor Dr Ivona Igerc says: ‘The point was not to make it look different, but to restore its natural shine.’

Life’s shocks and pains can show up on our faces. When Laura came to me, I could see that she was a strong and beautiful woman, but there were clear signs of fatigue and emotional tension on her face. The goal was to make him look fresher, more put together and less tired. Here’s exactly what we did:

Microdroplets were placed around her cheeks and in the middle of her face to relieve and eliminate fatigue. As we get older, the face may begin to sag and appear tired. Restoring volume in this area returns skin and gently lifts features.

The filler on the jawline tightens and defines the lower face, acting as a scaffold that holds almost everything together. This also prevents sagging of the chin, resulting in a happier, less tense and sunken appearance.

Small amounts of filler around the mouth softened vertical lines and improved texture, creating a velvety, smooth effect. This also helps make-up sit better on the skin; This is something that many midlife women really notice.

Botox between the eyebrows and around the eyes softened the lines and reduced the appearance of wrinkles. The important thing was not to freeze the expression completely, but to bring light and clarity to his face.

Gently moisturizing and shaping the lips, Diamond Lips adds slight volume and improves texture. It is important to beautify the lips while preserving their natural anatomy, as the symmetry and balance between the lips, chin and nose create a natural, youthful harmony.

The idea was to resurface the face, restoring lost volume so that light could once again reflect in the right places. People often don’t realize how closely radiant skin is linked to facial structure. When dimpling occurs on the face, the skin loses its shine. Laura’s face regained symmetry and vitality as the filler lifted and supported her facial features. The important thing was not to make it look different, but to restore its natural shine.

Dr Ivonna Igerc practices at the Hale Clinic on Harley Street. More information: drivyskincare.com