Jesy Nelson reveals she was left ‘mortified and embarrassed’ after Gary Barlow ‘tore her to pieces’ at her X Factor audition when she was just 20

Jesy Nelson has revealed how she felt “embarrassed” and “embarrassed” after Gary Barlow “smashed her for s***” during her X Factor auditions.

The former Little Mix star, 34, reflected on the moment Gary, 55, branded her performance ‘generic’ and said it was ‘lacking personality’ in the first episode of his new Prime Video show.

Jesy was just 20 when she auditioned for the ITV talent show with a cover of Jazmine Sullivan’s Bust Your Windows and admitted she was desperate to impress the Take That frontman in the absence of Simon Cowell on the judging panel.

However, her hopes were dashed when Gary failed to take her through to the next round, despite praise from fellow judges Louis Walsh, Tulisa and Kelly Rowland.

Recalling the experience, Jesy said: ‘From the moment it ripped me apart I just wanted to get off the stage, I didn’t care what anyone else had to say. I was so embarrassed and all I thought was: I can’t believe all my friends are going to see this, I’m so embarrassed.’

The singer explained that despite receiving positive feedback from the other judges, she couldn’t stop crying as she left the stage and the cameras tried to capture her emotional reaction.

The former Little Mixstar reflects on the moment Gary branded his performance ‘generic’ and said it ‘lacked individuality’ in the first episode of his new Prime Video show

Recalling the experience, Jesy said: ‘From the moment it ripped me apart I just wanted to get off the stage, I didn’t care what anyone else had to say.’

He added: ‘The rest of the judges said good comments, but the only bad comment I could think of that summed it up for me.

‘I remember coming off stage and I was literally crying and he literally pushed the camera in my face and said, ‘Jesy, can you tell the camera this, Gary, I’m going to prove you wrong.’ they said.

In an exclusive interview with the Daily Mail, Jesy looked back on her X Factor experience, which saw her eventually win the competition with Little Mix in 2011.

Despite becoming a champion alongside bandmates Perrie Edwards, Leigh-Anne Pinnock and Jade Thirlwall, Jesy admitted her dream of becoming a pop star did not become a reality.

He said: ‘I’m a huge fan of The X Factor and have been since I was little and of course when you’re on the show and you’re in it, it’s completely different.

‘Those periods of my life seem so far away from where I am now. These things have never been easy to talk about, but they’re much easier to talk about now than ever before.

‘The X Factor is funny; You never knew what was real or not in terms of what you had to do for TV. They all had the role of judge and sometimes they were told what to say and sometimes they were not.

‘So I don’t know if Gary really felt that way about my performance, but that’s how I felt. He said these things with absolute conviction.’

The singer said she was very upset by Gary’s comments because she was desperate to impress Simon Cowell in his absence from the X Factor panel (image 2011)

Despite being an X Factor champion alongside Perrie Edwards, Leigh-Anne Pinnock and Jade Thirlwall, Jesy admitted her dream of becoming a pop star hasn’t come true.

Jesy credits Little Mix’s success to their former mentor Tulisa, who features in new Prime Video documentary Life After Little Mix.

Although Jesy has mixed memories of her time on The X Factor, after enduring horrific trolling about her appearance on the Twitter (now

The former N-Dubz star appears in Jesy’s Prime Video documentary Life After Little Mix, where she reflects on the talent show’s heyday.

Jesy told the Daily Mail: ‘Obviously when I talked about my X Factor journey there were very few people who could really and truly tell that story in an original way and he was one of them.

‘It felt so right for her to be in this movie because she is one of the most beautiful people I have ever met. He really gives, he’s such a down to earth, real, real person and he actually cares so much.

‘He’s been like this since day one, not just towards Little Mix but all of their contestants. It was a big part of the reason why we were so successful.

‘Who knows, if we had had a different referee, I’m not belittling our success, but if it wasn’t for someone who cared so much about us, things could have been very different.’

After admitting in her documentary that ‘social media was the downward spiral of my mental health’, Jesy says she has finally found a healthier balance with her online fan base.

He said: ‘I have always struggled with my relationship with social media. I have a very close bond with my fans, but at the same time, this can negatively affect my mental health. But now that I’m a mother, I don’t have time to make doomscrolls anymore.’

Jesy welcomed her twin daughters, Ocean Jade and Story Monroe Nelson-Foster, in May last year and discovered months later that her babies had SMA Type 1.

Jesy became a mother for the first time last year to twin girls Ocean Jade and Story Monroe Nelson-Foster, whom she shares with ex-boyfriend Zion.

The couple broke up four months after their engagement, citing the strains on their relationship after their daughter was diagnosed with SMA Type 1.

She had a complicated pregnancy; during which she learned that her daughters were monochorionic diamniotic (MCDA) identical twins and had Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome (TTTS), a rare condition in which both babies share the placenta.

Months after their premature birth, Jesy was devastated to learn their daughter had SMA Type 1, a rare genetic disease that causes muscle wasting.

Jesy, who told the Daily Mail she was taking each day as it came, is now campaigning for all newborn babies to be tested for Spinal Muscular Atrophy at birth.

He explains that early diagnosis is crucial, as a one-time infusion can significantly increase muscle growth.

She said: ‘At one point I was told that the survival rate for girls was close to zero. I hate even saying this now because it really makes me sad.

Jesy, who split from her children’s father Zion Foster last month, is now campaigning for all newborn babies to be tested for Spinal Muscular Atrophy at birth

‘I would think about what I would do if they weren’t here and the cameras followed me – have I really thought about that?’

Jesy said the moment the diagnosis was confirmed was an earth-shattering event.

‘When the girls were diagnosed, I felt like my whole world was falling apart,’ she said.

‘When they were born, my birth, me being in the antenatal ward, looking after them as premature babies, I felt everything was so intense.

‘But when I took them home I really felt like I was out of this trench, I thought thank God we’re out of this situation and I can finally enjoy motherhood. But then this happened and I said, what is my life?

‘A lot of things happened to me. I remember turning to my mother and saying, ‘Someone there is playing games with me.’

‘I’m so grateful they’re still here because it could have been a very, very different outcome. I just have to be grateful and they are the most beautiful, strongest girls anyone could raise.’

Jesy Nelson: Life After Little Mix airs on Prime Video on February 13