‘My ADHD was missed until I was almost 40 – women are struggling and underdiagnosed’
A woman has told of her long journey and struggles to receive her “life-changing” ADHD diagnosis, as experts fear women and girls with the condition are being seriously underdiagnosed.
Kat Frize, now 39, was not diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) until she was 37, after facing a variety of challenges throughout her life, including intense fatigue, difficulties maintaining relationships and communicating, and frequent hospitalizations for accidental injuries.
The birth of her daughter, who is now diagnosed with ADHD and autism, spurred the mother of two to investigate her own symptoms. The woman, who risked being on the NHS waiting list for possibly years just to get an assessment, said she had to go into the private sector and was lucky to be in a position to do so, unlike many others.
Nearly two years later, he said, he finally got the treatment that was right for him, saying the first day he took the medication was “a huge epiphany moment” and his brain suddenly became quiet and clear for the first time in his life.
Now, as International Women’s Day approaches, the 39-year-old actress is issuing a warning to women and girls who are undiagnosed with ADHD and continue to struggle. He condemned narratives from the likes of health minister Wes Streeting that mental health problems were being over-diagnosed, describing them as “completely false” and “distressing” for patients.
Ms Frize, from the Midlands, said: Independent: “This is not because we have overdiagnosed, but because we have underdiagnosed for decades.
“We owe it to our women and girls to give them the answers they need, because when they have those answers they can really thrive, and when they don’t that comes with all kinds of risks. I think women are already left behind, so if you add something like that to that, it becomes very difficult.”
Research shows that the ratio of boys to girls with ADHD in childhood is only around 3:1, whereas in adulthood the ratio is more like 1:1; This shows that women and girls are significantly underdiagnosed during their teenage years. A study presented to the European College of Neuropsychopharmacology last year found that ADHD in women is diagnosed about five years later than in men, even though it occurs at the same age.
Care ADHD’s chief medical officer, Dr. Chris Abbott explained: “Girls with ADHD don’t always fit our idea of what ADHD ‘looks like.’ They may not be visibly hyperactive, impulsive, or disruptive in the classroom or at home. Instead, they may struggle in ‘hidden’ ways; such as difficulties with attention, organization, and time, which can look like daydreaming or forgetfulness.”
“Our social expectations based on gender also play a role. They shape what adults will notice more and what children will learn to hide. Many girls learn to be ‘nice,’ to keep quiet, and to blend in, so ADHD is more likely to emerge as an internal struggle rather than an external impairment.”
“As girls — and later as they become adult women — they often develop very complex strategies for living with undiagnosed ADHD. They may over-prepare, copy their more organized peers, people-please, or suppress their inner restlessness to meet social expectations. This is called ‘masking,’ and while it may seem like success on the outside, the cost internally is very real: chronic stress, exhaustion, anxiety, and low mood.”
Reflecting on her own experience, Ms. Frize noted that many opportunities were missed where her ADHD could have been detected had awareness been present, such as when she had tests for fatigue or returned to the hospital with persistent injuries.
Mentioning that he will finally be diagnosed in 2024, he said: “A lot of people describe a period of grief when you realize all the mistakes you’ve made and the challenges you’ve faced. [questioning,] ‘Would it be different?’
“It wasn’t me; my brain just worked differently and I needed a different environment to truly thrive.”
Last year, reports suggested more than half a million people were waiting for an ADHD assessment on the NHS.
Ms. Frize, now chief operating officer at Care ADHD, is calling for greater awareness, support and access to services and research. She said her diagnosis and subsequent treatment had been “truly life-changing”, adding: “I am able to be a better mother to my children.”
An NHS spokesperson said: “We know there is much we need to do to improve ADHD care and that too many women and girls are waiting too long for an assessment to receive a diagnosis.
“The NHS is now implementing the recommendations of the independent ADHD taskforce to redesign local services, transform support and reduce waiting times, as well as taking the wider action needed across society to improve the lives of women facing ADHD.”
A government spokesman said: “No one with ADHD should be left without clear clinical supervision or feeling uncertain about their care. “We have launched an independent review to examine how ADHD, mental health and autism services are delivered to ensure patients receive the right support.
“We have also announced a £9.5 million grant to continue delivering Partnerships for the Inclusion of Neurodiversity in Schools in 2025-2026 to reach 300,000 children, including children with dyslexia, autism and ADHD, in a further 1,200 schools.”
