Why Australia needs Nancy Mitford at the Strait of Malacca

Comment about Strait of Malacca became anxious, strategic and somewhat theatrical; It may be worth remembering that ancient societies knew how to remain calm when disorder came, writes Carl Gopalkrishnan.
“When he went upstairs to dress for dinner, he thought that life itself was stranger and much, much more disorderly than dreams.”
THAT LINE FROM 1932 feels unexpectedly contemporary now. At a moment when Australia’s comments on the Straits of Malacca have become alarming, strategic and faintly theatrical, it is worth pausing before a new round of alarm and remembering that ancient societies also knew how to remain calm when turmoil came.
It remains a handbook on rank, etiquette, introductions, priorities, and dress; it is also a printed book that reminds Australia that behavior under duress is part of political intelligence. Mitford’s gift in his writing was, to put it in Australian parlance, to ‘take the trouble’ out of the system that privileged him.
Young Australians often assume that such codes were laid down with the empire. Most of Asia knows they are not. The former colonies learned imperial etiquette with particular seriousness, sometimes more consciously than Britain itself, because these rules came not as an atmosphere but as instructions.
My father always said sarcastically that all medical teachers in the 1950s were British, while also noting the racist nature of colonialism, and when we observe the history unfolding in our “backyard” immigrants experience this intergenerational dissonance – a term that truly shames the Asia Pacific region.
“He wondered whether to place a divorced husband with his first wife and decided that would be a good plan…”
—Nancy Mitford, Christmas Pudding (1932)
Australia acts as if change of alliance means moral renewal, when it is closer to changing husbands than changing classes. Our habits of social alliance thus emerge as dependent on the language of alliance and operative words like “leverage” rather than on trust; He’s trying to reassure his people by saying that even if we don’t have diesel, we can use our natural gas as a life raft to survive the decapitation of the rules-based order (another regional embarrassment).
I would never have imagined Nancy Mitford using the word leverage.
Perhaps that’s why, if Australia hosted the first serious regional dinner dedicated to securing Asia’s access to the Straits of Malacca, the focus should be less on geopolitics and more on the style of this state dinner. Starting off by overexplaining the virtue of multiculturalism probably won’t win over the room, although guests of honor Malaysia, Singapore and Indonesia will measure their own etiquette by how well they absorb or ignore that tiresome phrase.
Asia is well-versed in imperial remnants, class theatre, ceremonial incompetence and emotional restraint. He realizes that trust is borrowed. Better to arrive shapely but without harshness, with warmth without showing off, and with enough honesty to let the colonial scars sit quietly in the room rather than pretending they were never there.
Poise and charm without pedigree
Posting British or American patronage and protection, Australia needs to seek a new style that does not depend on inherited rank or connections. Not to claim that the imperial legacy has disappeared; sitting with him honestly throughout dinner, without getting defensive or making bad jokes. Actually sit down.
In such an environment, ostentation need not mean spectacle (unless the government invites Luhrmann). This can only mean visible care: a country adequately prepared to welcome difficult neighbors without any fear, apology or fuss. Vanity is a tangible attribute and a more appropriate lever for a nation so mired between past and present, alliance and peer affiliation, war and peace.
Australia often acts as if alliance change is the only path to moral renewal. Asya just stares at the ceiling: new husband, same parties. His deeper habits linger in the room like an overly perfumed guest. Perhaps Australia’s advantage in a post-rule-based disorder is not that it escapes its imperial legacy, but that it can eventually choose which parts of that household remain worthy of a seat at the table.
This may be one of the few useful forms left to the middle power, which is still learning how to appear grown-up in its own region: poise without pedigree, ostentation without borrowed confidence, and enough restraint to understand that a shared meal can sometimes move a country further than another conversation about deterrence.
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