Why are women with mum-tums like me barred from the new Wegovy daily pill? There’s a very valid health benefit for midlifers with a stubborn half a stone to lose: CLARE FOGES

Here’s Wegovy! After months of feverish anticipation, pharmacies across the UK have finally welcomed the weight-loss pill: willpower in a pack, discipline in a dose, kryptonite against midnight urges for a square (or eight) of Dairy Milk.

Newspapers reported a ‘stampede’ for the pills; the word loosely conjures up images of elephants racing towards their nearest Boots.

Even though I am not an elephant in my size, I want to participate. But I can’t get these: I’m not fat enough.

To qualify for the once-daily Wegovy pill, your BMI must be 30 or above, or between 27 and 30 if you have weight-related health problems such as type 2 diabetes or high blood pressure. I’m falling way below this bar. At 5ft 7in and weighing around 10 5lb, my BMI is 22.8 – close enough to the middle of the ‘healthy weight’ category.

So why would I want to take a real pill if I’m not overweight? Because I’m what you might call a Thintool: I’m not actually fat, I’m not exactly skinny either – I’m tired of being stuck in diet limbo without enough willpower to lose half a stone from contentment and those pesky seven kilos.

You seem normal and healthy enough when you’re a Thinbetweener like me. You probably won’t be mistaken for a sumo wrestler, and you also won’t have abs sharp enough to grate cheese. A wobble here, a dip there, all within healthy limits.

But many Thinbetweeners will have spent years wanting to lose half or a full stone that has slipped after years of sedentary work or having a baby.

In my mid-30s I was nine and a half stone tall and had a waist so slim I could almost wrap it around it with my hands. Four children and ten years later, things are different.

I recently took my two-year-old to a toddler group where a nice lady in her 80s asked how many children I had. “Four,” I replied. ‘So,’ he smiled, gently caressing my belly, ‘is there another one on the way?’ ‘Um, no…’ I replied, and she replied, winking from woman to woman: ‘Oh, it’s still there from the last one, isn’t it?’ Yes!

I found this exchange funny since I’m not emotional about my weight change. I never hated my body, I never understood why so many women were ashamed of their thighs or upper arms; You ate too many burgers, you didn’t rob a bad box. I get confused when I read celebrities talk about their ‘changing relationship with their bodies’.

Do you have a relationship with your body? Do you have date nights where you slather yourself in cocoa butter and whisper reassuring sweet nothings?

My attitude towards my body has always been functional: It’s a pretty useful tool for getting my head from point A to point B. It’s also okay to be a little thinner. I wish I could walk into Zara and throw the piece of fabric I wanted into the basket, knowing it would fit like a glove.

Ten years ago, my summer uniform was a vest and jean shorts made from a paper bag with a drawstring at the waist. I bought a pair recently and they looked like a poorly made package.

There is also a health angle. No, I’m not fat, but like many Brits, I eat too much ultra-processed food (UPF) which is actually poison. UPFs make up more than half of the average British diet, the highest proportion in Europe. These foods are designed to satisfy your appetite, and frankly, I love them. Walkers Thai Chilli Sensations seems to appeal not only to my stomach but also to my soul.

And so, when I step on the scale every few weeks I see the same numbers. Sometimes the 10th is 4lb, sometimes the 10th is 6lb. Like a yo-yo at the end of a string, the scale moves up and down by just a few pounds. The ‘super losers’ of the weight loss world will shake their heads at this. ‘Half a stone? Ah! I did this in a week just eating an egg white omelette!’

Clare Foges says her attitude towards her body has always been functional: It’s a pretty handy tool for getting her head from A to B.

But it depends on motivation. If you are clinically obese, there are compelling reasons to lose weight urgently, at least to avoid a heart attack. There’s the discomfort of carrying so much weight, and there’s the fact that society still treats those who carry that much lumber unkindly.

But if you’re a Thinbetweener, the urge to lose weight isn’t that strong. You don’t look too bad, you seem to be in good health; So, would you really say no to a thick slice of your own child’s birthday cake? So willpower waxes and wanes: diet uncertainty.

I fast every morning until noon without taking a single bite out of my mouth. This is actually quite easy since I don’t feel hungry in the morning. Lunch is the same healthy and easy lentil packet.

Then this is a massacre. You’ve probably heard of the Incredible Hulk; I became the Incredibly Hungry Woman. Between 1pm and 3pm, if something isn’t spiked or poisoned, I’ll eat it: cheese, crackers, pancakes, chips, biscuits. Beyond that, a light dinner. A wholesome sandwich with a highly processed orgy in the middle. Here’s the thing: I care about the extra half a stone, but not enough to shed it. I can still give you a pill. But the health institution does not allow it.

‘Why don’t you lie?’ I ask my friend Beth, who was once a size 12 and is now a size 8, to underscore this point with her collection of mini dresses. He lied online to get him to ‘microdose’ weight loss injections and control his appetite, it wasn’t that he was out of control anyway. One of his tricks was to jump inches from his height. Private practitioners have reported people trying to cheat on the scale by shoving a water bottle under each arm.

But I don’t want to lie. I don’t want an online medical consultation with a doctor with a pillow stuffed under my sweater and a ball bearing in my pocket. It seems ridiculous and underhanded.

It is time for society to face the fact that these miracle drugs will be taken by most of us within a decade; especially after it was patented within a few years and became much cheaper.

It’s not just about vanity, it’s also about health; Because most of us, whether fat or skinny, consume too much UPF. Yes there are side effects to be taken seriously – nausea, diarrhea, dizziness are just a few – but I believe the benefits outweigh the risks.

Isn’t it time we let us Thinbetweeners hop on the Wegovy train, whatever our BMI?

Greece is even building floating barriers to deter poisonous puffer fish that can bite toes

So cocky I’m not on Med!

A Mediterranean holiday is starting to resemble the SAS recruitment process: four-hour check-in/check-out queues at the airport; wild fires; Great whites prowling the waters; puffer fish that can now bite your toes off.

Greece is even building floating barriers to protect against poisonous fish. I feel quite smug that I plan to stay on the Isle of Wight, where the most exotic creature you’ll ever encounter is a rare red squirrel.

Solidarity with Adele, who grimaced at Silverstone last week. The camera is not my friend either. I have three photo faces: gurgling, half-asleep, or recently electrocuted.

The NHS will use artificial intelligence to triage patients before they speak to a GP.

What could go wrong other than older people having no idea how to use it, chatbots mishearing hypertension (high blood pressure) for hypotension (abnormally low blood pressure), patients exaggerating symptoms to avoid this new obstacle, and more and more people becoming frustrated and turning up to A&E? Still, at least private GP practices will be happy.

Anne aces pregnancy dressing

It was refreshing to see Anne Hathaway clad in cornflower blue at the premiere of The Odyssey.

Ever since actress Demi Moore posed pregnant and naked on the cover of Vanity Fair, celebrities have felt the need to bare their bellies at every opportunity.

How refreshing, then, to see Anne Hathaway at the premiere of Odyssey: clad in a dazzling cornflower blue. A masterclass in modest maternity clothing.