A chance for childhood to breathe again

An impending social media ban may feel like a punishment for today’s teenagers, but it could turn out to be their ticket to long-lost freedom, writes Kate Zarb.

I feel lucky to be born in 1973.

Even though this means that I’m now seen as “one of those cool old lady writers” (not as cool, of course, but cool enough to be invited to all the launch parties), I have things that today’s youth can only dream of. Many online commenters marvel at memes depicting ’80s norms so long ago that some of us have even forgotten. Images of a street that could be ours are overlaid with white text and say: ‘Curfew was about turning on the street lights’ Generation Z always brings out curiosity in their babies.

Well, who can forget those summer evenings that seemed to last forever? We ignored most of the sunset because we were too focused on whatever game was popular that day.

It was a place where we spent long summers playing in a space that was entirely ours, without our parents, adult neighbors, or dobbers, and where we could create our own worlds, our own rules, our own society. It was a place where Catholic and Protestant children could play together. Our parents may have sent us to different schools, but religious barriers ended there. You were as good out there as your last catch in street cricket.

On those evenings when I felt warm, accepted, and free, we would confide in each other, talk about our annoying siblings, and gossip about our old friends and future enemies. But most importantly, we would laugh, we would be accepted in each other’s eyes, and we would know that we had a real friend.

But the freedom we had wasn’t limited to handball and street cricket (we could only enjoy these after promising my mother we’d stay somewhere she could see us). Our freedoms were even better than that. We could hang out with whoever we wanted without worrying about what people would think of us if we did.

Today’s young boys and girls have turned into microbrands before they even know what it is. “He is very attractive” “Oh my god, her skincare routine is amazing,” “She’s an earthly girl.” Phrases like “He’s a geek but I kind of like him” are repeated so often that they can translate into children’s entire personalities. Even kids who aren’t on social media are divided into categories – eternal “He’s such a goody two shoes” “He has really strict parents.” and the brush that everyone fears to be stained, “After the incident with Travis, his family deleted all of his social posts.”

Young people in the 80s were free to dream big; much larger than any youngster before or since. College was free when we were young, so we assumed (mistakenly, it turned out) that it would be free for us too. There were plenty of jobs for anyone who wanted to work immediately; apprenticeships (“internships” were unheard of), office workers, students, and entry-level jobs abound – and most of us chose just that. Many students took on a side job or two to help us get through college, knowing that graduate jobs were plentiful even if we only had a credit average.

But for us, our first job always meant working for someone else. We did not experience the branding and marketing problems that many young people experience today. There are barely teenage girls and boys who worry about their “aesthetics” every time they leave the house, even if it’s just to go to a family barbecue. The pressure to always look Instagram-worthy, to always be on brand, and to never say the wrong things in public must be exhausting. Too many kids have taken on the role of celebrity, with all its burdens and none of its perks.

We also experienced priceless happiness in our own homes. Who can forget the feeling of writing down your deepest thoughts in a lockable journal with 120gsm lined paper? And of course it was very special that you used a new pen. But what strikes me now is that although I remember exactly how I felt then, I don’t remember anything I wrote.

Children of the 2020s can no longer create those fundamental memories where sound, smell, and even temperature are forever etched in their memories. Everything they do is corrected through a screen. “Notes” are not actually like the reams of paper we pass around in class. The “drawing” does not smell like markers or acrylic paint or sound like a pencil on exercise book paper. And the only recording we ever made was when we frantically pressed “Play” and “Record” simultaneously as soon as we heard the first bars of our favorite song.

I know the upcoming social media ban will upset a lot of kids and for many of them it will be really hard. But for the majority of young people, life will change once they get rid of the feeling of suffocation and they will be able to enjoy it. They will rediscover the joy of creating a work of art for a friend and hand-delivering it – literally – the next day.

They can open one of those beautiful notebooks they have been given for years and become a writer without even realizing it. They, like me, may discover that the only things that bring my ADHD mind back to a comfortable walking pace are reading, writing, and paperwork. They too can experience the same joy that we experience in long phone conversations with friends after dinner, when we talk about everything but nothing, loving every minute of it.

They’ll even be able to use FaceTime and have a three- or four-way conversation; This is an event we could not even dream of in 1986. I almost envy them.

Social media isn’t the cause of everything that ails our teenagers, but it rarely helps and often makes things worse. But the damage done to our children is not just about screen addiction or online bullying; The overlooked danger demands so much from our youth that they forget to be children.

Our childhood gave us a glimpse into our future and promised us a life full of possibilities. We knew we had options, we felt safe in the world, and we looked forward to our 20s. And sometimes I fear we were the last generation to do so.

I hope I’m wrong.

Kate Zarb is a jaded Generation X woman who wants the world to be a better place. He has worked in everything from hospitality to politics, using each episode as an opportunity to learn about the world we live in.

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