Here is how I conquered my fear of hospitals to become a midwife

Hope Jezzard’s hospital phobia was so intense that it seemed unthinkable that she could work in a hospital. Hope is now a midwife who helps mothers overcome their fears.

Hospital phobia, or nosocomophobia, is one of a number of recognized anxiety disorders often associated with traumatic childhood experiences.

Hope told BBC Radio 5 Live that her mother was in and out of hospital throughout her childhood.

“He almost died twice and was on life support. I had to leave him behind, and even though I knew he was being helped, I felt like I was leaving him.”

As Hope enters her teens and early twenties, she says any routine appointment will cause her heart to race.

“It manifested itself as being extremely triggered by smells and sounds in hospitals, and feeling extremely anxious and panicked,” he says.

John Hawker, a psychotherapist who helps people cope with phobias, says fear of hospitals is “fairly common”, often starting in childhood and triggered by sights, smells and sounds.

“Maybe someone had been given an injection when they were six weeks old, and the memory of that injection was the smell of surgical spirit,” he says.

“Part of their brain is triggered by the smell of surgical spirit, and no matter how much logic you try to use to get through it, they still don’t want to walk to the hospital,” he says.

Hope says the support she received from her midwives when she had to attend hospital appointments during her pregnancy and the birth of her two children inspired her to pursue the same career.

Although his hospital phobia initially made the idea seem impossible, he says, “over time, the desire to help people overshadowed my fear.”

She left her job in a cafe to study Midwifery at Coventry University.

“Going to the hospital was a huge challenge. I had avoided clinical settings for years. The first few shifts were terrifying,” she says. “But over time I started to get more comfortable.”

He thinks talk therapy has helped him overcome negative relationships with hospitals.

“One of the tools I was given was the idea of ​​the compassionate self—treating yourself the way you would if a friend said to you, ‘I’m scared of going to the hospital.’

“You can say, ‘Can I come with you, can I hold your hand, do you want to talk before or during?’

He also recommended writing a “stream of consciousness” whenever you feel overwhelmed with fear.

“Don’t try to make sense of it, put punctuation in it, or even make it legible; it could be as simple as ‘I’m afraid I’m going to die.’ You can throw it away or hide it and come back,” he says.

• Write down your fears – Putting these on paper can give you perspective
• Take someone with you – someone you trust can help you relax
• Tell the hospital staff – They will be better equipped to help you if they know
• Tell your GP – They may refer you to a behavioral therapist, such as a psychologist.
• Speech therapy – You can refer to this yourself NHS service

Kim Black said she was “completely frozen” by her fear of hospital after being diagnosed with hip dysplasia when she was four. He says he developed pediatric medical traumatic stress after multiple surgeries.

“I would have done anything to avoid going to the hospital, I would have done anything, I would have either cut off contact completely or avoided it completely,” she says.

“I once dragged my leg into the hospital and couldn’t lift it because I waited so long to go.”

Kim now helps people overcome hospital phobias and gain confidence after major surgery.

“One of the things I do with my job is actually help prepare people to advocate for themselves and set good boundaries when they come in,” she says.

Writing them down, he says, helps him “block out spiral thoughts.”

“When I go to the hospital, I talk directly to whoever comes up to me and tell them directly that I’m dealing with this issue.”

Mr Hawker says it is possible to combat hospital fear through a range of therapies aimed at helping people move on from distressing memories without having to relive the trauma.

“Hopefully overcoming this phobic response will allow someone to feel much more empowered when going into a medical situation,” he says.

Hope says that being in an environment that frightened her for a short time helped her gradually get used to hospitals.

“I’m a midwife now and there are moments when I just want to run away, but I’ve turned a very negative experience as a child into a very positive way of helping people as an adult.”