LIZ JONES: Why I believe ruthless Kate’s the driving force behind Andrew’s eviction – and why no one now dares cross her

A truly touching story. Prince Andrew is said to have agreed to call movers, vacate the 30-room, 98-acre Royal Lodge and set up himself and his toys at Frogmore Cottage, formerly Harry and Meghan’s home, where his yoga studio is still in place and gives him a place to continue tying the knot.

He wants ex-wife Sarah’s house near Adelaide Cottage, which will soon be vacated by William, Kate and their children – he’s clearly looking for a one-for-one payment but has never been in Tesco.

In this spectacular version of Relocation, Relocation, the Welsh go to Forest Lodge. Dubbed their ‘forever home’, it’s a short walk along a tree-lined street… Royal Pavilion.

It’s no wonder, then, that William is rumored to be the driving force behind Andrew’s departure. TV’s Emily Maitlis is said to be determined to make sure her “beyond disgusting” uncle doesn’t become her new nightmare neighbour, as she says she looks up to Prince Andrew of Wales.

But let’s not forget Kate, another instrumental player in the box.

She is not a blood relative of her husband’s creepy uncle. His life’s work is protecting children. Apparently ‘the thought of living so close to the Royal Lodge makes him shudder’. He sees this not only as a scandal that threatens the Monarchy and therefore the secure future of his children, but also as a scandal that is already ruining the lives of scores of young women.

Even the fact that Andrew signed his emails to Jeffrey Epstein with ‘A, HRH, Duke of York, KG’ gave Kate chills. He wears his titles lightly, able to shrug them off like a very heavy coat when kneeling to comfort children or those suffering from cancer.

She no longer wants to rub her padded shoulders with a convicted pedophile or a man who spent time with his ex-wife, a woman who sent that pedophile toe-curlingly embarrassing emails and called him her “greatest friend.” The former Duchess of York is reportedly now “on the edge with nowhere to go and no one else to go to.”

The Welsh are preparing to move from Royal Lodge above to Forest Lodge, a short walk along a tree-lined avenue.

Prince Andrew is rumored to be leaving Royal Lodge and moving to Frogmore Cottage, formerly Harry and Meghan’s home

Oh, boo. And why exactly is Eugenie and Beatrice’s status left untouched? Andrew undoubtedly made the retention of his titles conditional on him getting down on his knees to take the final reading of the electric meter.

An allegation disputed by royal sources was that William put pressure on the princesses to persuade their fathers to move in exchange for their status not changing, Maitlis noted on her podcast The News Agents. It was reported that the king would travel to the Royal Lodge on his return from Rome, where he would pray with the Pope on Thursday to speak to his brother, but the visit was canceled due to a media ‘circus’ (royal sources once again deny this).

No doubt Kate will have strong opinions about this unfolding royal debacle.

He knows his power. Look how quickly and fearlessly he took Meghan away. Remember that icy stare when the Fab Four used to wander around before Queen Elizabeth’s funeral? She is like a lioness protecting her territory. And anyone who has survived cancer should not be involved. Cancer survivors are the strongest people you will ever meet.

Charles was slow to grasp Andrew’s question. So was William. But like every mother of three, Kate wants it done. Today. Rolling up your sleeves and cleaning the house in more ways than one. As the only jewel in the crown shining brightly, Kate gets what Kate wants.