Donald Trump receives FIFA peace prize in bizarre ceremony
“Congo is an example,” he continued. “Over 10 million people died and it was moving towards 10 million very quickly. India and Pakistan, we were able to end a lot of different wars, in some cases right before they started.”
Nothing about Trump’s self-declared conflict-resolution powers—embellished and often contradictory—is new or, at this point, absolutely shocking. Yet, in this latest “the world is a safer place” rant, he literally had a make-believe medal and a trophy around his neck, in a scene that radiated more electricity than Gaza had experienced in two years.
Tony Popovic had to wait several hours to give his thoughts on Australia’s World Cup draw to the media.Credit: FIFA via Getty Images
It smelled like a big song and dance for a grown man who couldn’t come first and get a medal at the school carnival. Whether visiting the Oval Office or hosting at FIFA’s Trump Tower headquarters, Infantino must have sensed that his best friend was upset, so he did what any soft power ally would do and produced one just for himself.
It was a selfless sacrifice from a football manager who recently admitted that even football top brass “can’t solve geopolitical problems” but Trump clearly can. The latter’s administration had carried out another deadly airstrike in the Caribbean that should have saved millions of lives.
“This is your reward,” Infantino smiled. “This is your peace prize.” You could see Trump’s ego inflating again in real time. Although this cinch exercise isn’t generally recommended for teaching endurance, the 2,000 attendees seated in the auditorium had to show theirs throughout the garish structure they probably hadn’t bargained for.
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Andrea Bocelli’s opening rendition of Nessun Dorma was a standout, and it went downhill from there as hosts Kevin Hart and Heidi Klum took the stage, Wayne Gretzky struggled to pronounce North Macedonia and Curaçao, and Rio Ferdinand moonlighted as a comedian.
Robbie Williams and other music stars followed among sports legends, roving interviews and commercials featuring Matthew McConaughey and Salma Hayek (and Hugh Jackman).
When it was all finally over, Trump was dancing with the Village People and Infantino had confirmed what we all so desperately needed to hear: “FIFA is the official purveyor of happiness for humanity.”
