Debra’s husband has a problem. He is addicted to sports gambling and squandered almost $1 million of his savings.
69-year-old Sacramento native summoned The Ramsey ShowExpressing dismay and disappointment, she classifies her 79-year-old husband as a violent gambler.
The couple has been married for 11 years and they should be in an ideal place to enjoy their retirement. At the beginning of their marriage, they had joint savings of nearly $1 million. But Debra recently discovered that her husband had been hacking into their accounts for bets and lying about it.
The National Council on Problem Gambling reports that 2.5 million adults in the United States are estimated to have serious problem gambling, and another 5 to 8 million have mild or moderate gambling problems. (1)
“My husband has a gambling problem,” Debra said. “Our savings are down to $15,000.”
Debra is facing a serious personal and financial crisis, and Ramsey hasn’t hedged his bets on what to do.
Debra’s husband tells her, “I can stop whenever I want”; But this heartbreaking story is a clear example of how addiction can tear families apart.
Although they combined their accounts after marriage and were initially careful with their money, Debra’s husband eventually became evasive and she noticed some red flags.
“A year and a half ago, it was kind of a red flag when I saw a late filing for taxes,” he recalled. “’Why are our taxes late?’ I said.”
He started digging and discovered that he had missed his tax payment. Now she finds out that her husband’s credit score is in the 600 range and hers is in the 800 range, and that they have little money in the bank despite his $350,000 annual salary.
Worst of all, he isn’t committed to getting help for his addiction; instead, he reduces his bad habits. (2)
“He said… ‘We can get this under control. We can get it down to $700 or $800 a month,'” Debra recalled.
Debra and her husband are not alone. The National Council on Problem Gambling reports that the rate of problem gambling among sports bettors is at least twice as high as it is among gamblers in general. (3) Additionally, 45% of sports betting is now placed online, and thanks to the wide availability of applications, gambling addicts have temptations in their pockets 24/7.
The financial loss from this easy access can be devastating, with Atlantic Behavioral Health reporting that gambling addiction leads to an average of $40,000 in debt. (4)
The World Health Organization also warns that gambling can:
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Increase risk of mental illness
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Increase risk of suicide
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It pushes families into poverty
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Causing relationships and families to break down
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Increase the risk of domestic violence
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Increase the risk of crime such as theft and fraud
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Result with child neglect (5)
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Debra took the first step to separate her finances from her husband’s, but Dave said she needed to do more.
“You call a marriage counselor and start talking to them. And you call someone who does addiction counseling,” Ramsey suggested. “Both can give you a framework within which you can lead them to give an ultimatum, and the ultimatum is: Stop going cold turkey, you will go to Gamblers Anonymous, and you will see a therapist.
“You don’t gamble another penny, or you’ll never see me again.”
The best time to take action is as soon as possible or before the financial loss becomes significant. Warning signs may include:
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Financial problems such as overdue bills and maxed out cards
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Despite earning a good living, money is a problem
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Products sold for cash
Better Health recommends the following for those who are in a situation similar to Debra’s and notice these symptoms in their partners:
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Remind yourself that you are not at fault and that you cannot control their behavior.
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Let the gambler know they hurt you
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Track all family expenses and take control of your finances
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Open a separate bank account
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Talk to the bank to make sure your home can’t be remortgaged
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Put your valuables in an escrow account
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Cancel overdraft protection on shared bank accounts
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Connect with others to support your own mental health (4)
Finally, as Ramsey suggests, you should intervene and confront your partner, providing specific examples of how their behavior is causing problems. Also work with them to create a strategy on how to handle gambling and the consequences of their actions.
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We rely only on vetted sources and reliable third-party reports. See our editorial ethics and guidelines for details.
National Council on Problem Gambling (1, 3); Addiction Assistance (2); Atlantic Behavioral Health (4); World Health Organization (5); USC Suzanne Dworak-Peck (6).
This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without any warranty.
