‘I’m 73 and terrified I’ll die without knowing what happened to my missing son’
WWhen 16-year-old Damien Nettles went missing, his mother Valerie Walker was too scared to leave the house. He waited inside, convinced that every footfall outside meant his son was finally coming home.
But Mrs Walker is now 73 and on November 2 it will be 30 years since she last saw her child. With no meaningful leads and the investigation stalled, he fears he may never learn the truth about what happened to him before he died.
Damien’s disappearance devastated his entire family and caused the lives of his parents and three siblings to be irrevocably changed. “Thirty years will be hard to stomach,” Ms. Walker said. “But so were 29 years, and so were 28 years, and so were one year.”
LikeIndependent We spoke to Mrs Walker, who has raised £165,000 to launch SafeCall, a free new service to help lost children find support and safety no matter what, and continues to raise even more, as she still hopes she will one day find out what happened to her son.
donate Here or donate £10 to Missing People by texting SAFE to 70577 – enough for one child to get help.
Damien’s grandmother, grandfather and uncle died without knowing what happened to him, and Mrs Walker fears she will face the same fate. Even now he still keeps his teddy bears in his room and hangs his stockings at Christmas.
“I don’t buy her gifts anymore because I found her gifts from last year,” he said. Independent.
“It doesn’t go away, it’s constantly on my mind and it’s worse because we can’t come to any conclusion about what happened. It’s an open wound.”
Damien, a “kind and funny” Isle of Wight teenager, went to a party with friends on a winter Saturday night in 1996.
Her mother had given her a 10pm curfew, so she convinced her to postpone it until midnight. Since the island was a small place where everyone knew everyone, she thought she didn’t need to worry about Damien.
Damien and his friend left the party and began walking home at 10.30pm, but after taking different routes Damien returned to the city to look for his older sister Sarah.
CCTV caught him at Yorkies Fish and Chip shop in Cowes at 11.40pm that night and he was seen walking alone down the high street a short time later in footage later lost to Hampshire Police.
When Mrs. Walker noticed he was not in bed the next morning, she assumed he was staying with a friend. However, as the hours passed and Damien did not come home, he realized that something was wrong.
After reporting to the police, Ms Walker said she was told Damien would be home at tea time and that his disappearance was “something all 16-year-old boys do”.
He claimed the first 48 hours of his disappearance, which were vital in the missing person investigation, were not taken seriously by police and the family were forced to launch their own search party and retrieve CCTV footage themselves.
While the investigation has been ongoing for several years and is still open today, Ms Walker feels Damien’s case has always been set aside.
He currently lives 5,000 miles away in Texas in the United States, but is still making every effort to get whatever answers he can get.
Not a day went by that she didn’t think about Damien. “It’s terrible, it’s terrible, it’s changed the shape of our lives,” Ms Walker said. “Damien came first. It was always Damien. I think about him every day. It just won’t go away.”
When she doesn’t get an answer, she worries that her children, forced to grow up without their siblings, will be left with the legacy of her disappearance.
In 2011, police arrested eight people, but all of the suspects were later released without charge.
“He’ll have to walk through someone’s door and confess before [the police] “We’ll do anything,” Ms. Walker said.
“I’d rather have someone tell me where he is, so we can find him, and I can bring him home, give him a funeral, and arrange a place where I can go and visit.
“I will not give up hope, I will always carry a ray of hope. My only hope is that if there is a heaven, I will find it there.”
Chief detective Nick Plummer, of Hampshire and Isle of Wight Constabulary, said: “Our shared aim with the Nettles family remains to find out what happened to Damien.
“We understand the concerns raised by members of the Nettles family about the standards of our initial investigation. A complaint was received in 2016, where the two elements raised were confirmed following the investigation. A detailed apology was subsequently issued to Damien’s family.
“It is important to emphasize that this is still an open case and any new credible information will be sought for any valid investigation.”
Please donate now To the Independent and Missing Persons’ Safe Call campaign, which raised £165,000 to create a free nationwide service helping vulnerable children find safety and support.
If you or a loved one is lost, text or call the charity Missing People on 116 000 for advice, support and options. It’s free, confidential and non-judgmental. Or visit misspeople.org.uk/get-help
