Man ‘caused wife to take her own life after using sexual violence to control her’, court told
A man controlled his wife through “physical and sexual violence”, leading her to commit suicide because she could not escape him, a court heard.
Christopher Trybus, of Swindon, Wiltshire, is charged with the manslaughter of Tarryn Baird, who died aged 34 in November 2017.
The 43-year-old man also faces charges of controlling and coercive behavior and two charges of rape at Winchester Crown Court.
The coercive control charge alleges Trybus controlled Ms Baird by using and threatening violence towards her, sexually assaulting her, monitoring her whereabouts, restricting her access to finances, threatening to disclose private information to her family and isolating her from her family.
Prosecutor Tom Little KC told the jury Trybus had committed “extensive and increasingly controlling, coercive and manipulative behaviour, including two rapes, sexual violence and other sexual assaults”.
He continued: “This happened behind closed doors for a long period of time, and it all happened during the marriage.
“It eventually led to the suicide of a woman in her thirties, identified as Tarryn Baird, by hanging herself in November 2017.
“She was the defendant’s wife and the prosecution says the defendant is legally responsible for her death.”
Mr Little explained that Trybus controlled “many aspects of their relationship”, even from abroad, using the “threat and fear of physical and sexual violence”, which “caused his already weakened mental state to deteriorate and to make the decision to take his own life”.
He added: “He did this in his own home.
“Although she seriously considered running away several times, she had failed to escape from him.
“However, we say that he could never leave her because he was constrained by her control, that he undoubtedly feared the consequences of attempting to do so, and that he ceased his control over her in the only way he felt could take his own life instead.”
Mr Little said Ms Baird, who worked at an optician, left a note saying: “I’m so sorry for the family but I couldn’t take it anymore.
“I know you may not understand this, but I can’t explain the dark cloud over me.
“Please don’t let this break you, but know that I am free now. Nothing any of you could do could change that, please know that.”
“I love you and please forgive me.”
Mr Little said the couple, who are both South African, moved to England in 2007 and married in 2009.
The prosecutor said Ms Baird initially reported the injury was caused by “clumsy” behavior, such as when exercising or falling down the stairs.
He said Ms Baird, who witnessed and suffered from armed carjackings in South Africa, was likely diagnosed with PTSD.
He added that Ms Baird had told her GP in May 2016 that “at times she felt like life wasn’t worth living” and by August that year she was “struggling with her mental health”.
Mr Little said as the “tsunami” of events grew, Ms Baird made repeated contact with an employee of Swindon Women’s Aid (SWA) and her GP.
However, when they were offered a place in the shelter, he turned them down, but then he started looking for a place over and over again and could not find one.
Mr Little said Ms Baird revealed to her GP that Trybus had raped her on October 19, 2016, following an argument over the defendant paying for her cousin’s school fees.
Mr Little said: “He grabbed her wrists and had sex with her against her will and also hit her in the face with what he thought was a phone.”
He said Ms Baird also told the SWA worker he had “choked her, causing her to pass out” and blamed herself for telling the defendant she wanted to leave him.
Mr Little said: “This is literally gas flaring.”
Trybus, who regularly traveled abroad for his work as a software consultant and developer, is alleged to have raped Ms Baird a second time in November 2016.
The prosecutor added: “Other things Tarryn Baird said about the nature of the relationship was that she told the defendant’s family that he was addicted to drugs and alcohol and that if she told them about the domestic abuse it would stop them believing her.”
He described this as “classic domestic abuse perpetrator behaviour”.
Trybus denies the accusations and the trial continues.
The national domestic violence helpline offers support to women on 0808 2000 247 or visit: Asylum website. There is a special section men’s advice line on 0808 8010 327. US residents can call the domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). You can reach other international helplines at: www.befrienders.org
If you are experiencing feelings of distress or finding it difficult to cope, you can speak to Samaritans confidentially on 116 123 (UK and ROI), email jo@samaritans.org or visit . Samaritans Website to find details of your nearest branch.
