As Kaitlin sweated through malaria in Africa, Aaron fell in love with her in a new way
Louise Southerden
Aaron and Kaitlin Tait, both 42, met on a beach in Spain in 2004. He was a young naval officer and she was a free-spirited California college student, but they both dreamed of changing the world.
Aaron: I first saw Kaitlin on 11 September 2004, three years after she was deployed to the Persian Gulf as an 18-year-old officer in the Australian Navy. It had been a tough three years… I had taken some time off and was trying to get over my PTSD by running a nightclub in Alicante, getting drunk and sleeping with a different girl every night. But I was lost and alone.
That afternoon I went for a long swim across the bay. As I stumbled up the beach, I saw this gorgeous girl lying on her towel reading a book. Love in the Time of Cholera. He was surrounded by a group of American students, but that was all I could see. I invited them to my club, hoping he would come too, but he stayed on the beach. Its independence intrigued me.
Three nights later he arrived with a tall American man. While he was high-fiving his friends, I leaned over the bar and told him, “You’re incredible.” As soon as I could take a break, I jumped over the bar and took her to a warehouse where we kissed. After my shift, we went to a wine bar and talked until the sun came up.
We had a wonderful two months together. I then had to leave to hitchhike around Scotland where I was completely lovesick. A few weeks later, Kaitlin met me on my way home in Ireland and we said we loved each other. But he had one more year of college and I had three more years to do in the Navy, so we made a deal: “If you think about me tomorrow, call me tomorrow.”
In Spain we talked about changing the world. We both studied international policy, development and education – me as part of my officer training, Kaitlin in California, then Sydney after relocating in 2006 – and we flew to Nairobi after leaving the Navy in 2007. We ran a community project in Kenya caring for 50 orphans and established farming, microfinance and women’s projects; We ran a high school for at-risk children in Tanzania. Kaitlin comes from a wealthy family, but when I saw her living modestly in villages like ours, eating beans and rice at every meal, sweating from malaria, I fell in love with her in a new way.
In early 2009, we flew to Europe for a short break, and I got down on my knees in the sculpture garden of the Rodin Museum in Paris. He said yes, we kissed, then someone shouted “Get off the grass!” he shouted. We got married a few weeks later in Nairobi. We’re still laughing about how one of our witnesses, Edith, was listed as the bride on our marriage certificate!
Kaitlin is an extraordinary mother to Finn and Atlas [aged 8 and 5, respectively]I was incredibly patient as I found myself becoming a father after moving to Byron Bay in 2018. I was frequently absent, flying around the world for our nonprofit organization Spark. [which backed community-based entrepreneurs in Africa and the Pacific]and a global, online teacher education initiative. Being a better partner and father is now my top priority. We have date night every Saturday. Kids know that they have to be on their best behavior if we light a candle at the dinner table.
That’s it for me. I adore our sons and love our lives. I am a full time writer [his first book is a memoir, Far Horizons: A Journey from War to Peace]Kaitlin advises the UN and other organizations on gender policies. But my favorite times are still the ones when it’s just the two of us.
Kaitlin: My first impression of Aaron that day at the beach (barefoot, shirtless, long, curly hair) was that he looked bohemian and very attractive. I didn’t know he was in the military.
When I went to his club a few nights later and he leaned over the bar and said, “You’re incredible,” I asked, “Who does this?” I thought. None of the men I’ve dated in America any a romantic talent. But he was also sweet and gentlemanly.
I can be indecisive, a bit of a chameleon – I moved around a lot as my family grew up – but Aaron always knows what he wants. He’s more driven than anyone I know, and it can be annoying because I’m often a few steps behind, but I really felt at home with him in Spain. Even at 20, I knew I wanted more than a job, a marriage, and a mortgage, and I loved that Aaron had the same ambition for a bigger life. The moment we said goodbye to each other in Spain, I felt my heart break.
The two years we spent in Kenya and Tanzania, from 2007 to 2009, were a difficult but happy time. We had problems to solve every day – lack of firewood, our head boy going to jail, students threatening to kill Aaron – but they bonded us as a couple. Aaron is always smart and capable in a crisis; In Africa I saw him grow into a man who could learn, listen and be patient. I realized that I would always feel safe with him.
The offer he made in Paris in 2009 came as a surprise. I was happy to wear nice clothes and eat something that wasn’t rice or beans. When you step on the grass behind you ThinkerI was so shocked that I forgot to say yes, but I never doubted that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.
Our most stressful time came in Byron Bay. Finn was one year old, we were going through multiple in vitro fertilization treatments, and we were starting to build a house while Aaron sold his company. I’ve never seen him this stressed. “Does he enjoy being a father?” I thought. And I was worried about us.
He later attended an ayahuasca retreat in 2022. The night she came home, she went straight to the boys’ room and put them to bed. I could hear them all chatting and laughing. There really was an Aaron before and after Ayahuasca. I love how he takes action when he sees his flaws; He wants to grow as a person.
