My murdered son’s football is still in the garden, his clothes are on the ironing pile – why I’ll never be able to move on

It’s a bright spring Tuesday morning, 11 a.m.

“I’m sorry, I’m still lying in bed right now,” the mother of slain student Harvey Willgoose explains as she takes my call. “It’s so scary waking up every morning because I see him in my dreams [Harvey] And every time I wake up with a pain in my stomach, I can’t move.”

It’s been 421 days since Caroline received the life-changing call from her mother-in-law at work, telling her that something serious had happened to her 15-year-old son at school.

He remembers a police car speeding by and beginning the journey to the hospital under blue lights to be by Harvey’s bedside. He thought she was “fine” when the patrol car slowed down to its normal speed and the flashing lights were turned off.

But the sad truth was that he had slipped away from his son.

Harvey was stabbed in the heart with a 13cm hunting knife by fellow student Mohammed Umar Khan, 15, who carried out the fatal attack in front of children and teachers outside the All Saints Catholic High School canteen in Sheffield.

“I think about that day all the time,” says Caroline. “The hope that my son is okay, the shock of finding out, and then a mixture of anger and sadness. No mother, no parent should have to go through this because it never ends, you can’t give up on this.”

The heartbroken mother paid tribute to her son shortly after his death, describing Harvey as a “caring, loving and funny young man”. She shared happy photos on social media of herself at a festival and on holiday with him in Tenerife and Greece.

Then days later, when Sheffield United, the football team she supports, played in the city, Caroline and Harvey’s father Mark joined the fans in a pre-match walk. In the 15th minute of the match, there was excitement in the stadium as the crowd, including the players, gave a standing ovation to celebrate Harvey’s life.

Today, in the backyard of his house where he plays football with his friends, the nets are still up and the ball is on the grass. In the three-bedroom house, his school shoes are still out, his clothes are in the ironing pile, and his bedroom remains untouched.

“His father comes in sometimes [the bedroom] “Crying because there’s still his smell, everything inside stays the same,” says Caroline.

“We have a dog, a Cockapoo, born on the exact day he was born. [Harvey] passed and he doesn’t even go into the room, he knows something is up. His [Harvey’s] The shoes, the dresses in the ironing pile, the balls and nets in the garden… I just can’t get rid of them.

“There’s also simple things like finding an old drawing of him from grade school and things like that. And Mother’s Day cards. You don’t want to move those around, and they stay put for you because you never want to leave your son behind.”

The despair surrounding Harvey’s death has at times turned to disappointment and anger over the immense pain experienced for the family over the past year.

Earlier this year, an independent review into Harvey’s death, commissioned by the academy trust that ran Harvey’s school, found “several missed opportunities” to address behavior before the stabbing and manage risk.

The unpublished review showed that records were not requested or reviewed before Khan was moved to another school where incidents involving violence, gun references and anger occurred, according to family attorneys Irwin Mitchell.

Additionally, despite an investigation into the knife allegation on the day of Harvey’s death, the law firm stated in the report that Khan was allowed into the school “without being investigated and without any assessment being completed.”

The criminal trial, in which Khan was convicted of murder and remanded in custody for at least 16 years, heard that tensions were high at the school in the week before the attack and a curfew was imposed one day following an unproven allegation that a student in a fight was carrying a knife.

Harvey had spent most of the week at home and texted his father: “I’m not going to that school when people are holding knives.”

“I feel guilty because we encouraged him to go to school,” says Caroline. “I felt like we were taking him into the lion’s den. He didn’t want to go. But at the same time, where was my son’s bodyguard? Where were the checks next to the school?”

“If they looked at him [Khan’s] If he had called, they would have realized he was heading down a dark path with an unhealthy interest in guns. He was out to kill someone; There were a lot of missed opportunities.”

The school trust has published the report’s 10 recommendations and said it would help implement them. These included a senior signature certifying that safeguarding and behavior records had been reviewed prior to the student starting school, as well as mandatory records sharing for any student moving into school.

The foundation also said a number of “robust measures” had been taken since Harvey’s death; but Caroline says they don’t go far enough.

Following his son’s death, a member of parliament on behalf of the family asked if a knife metal detector, known as a knife belt, could be installed at the entrance of the school. He responded by saying handheld knife detectors were already in use.

Independent He understands that the school took advice on security options after Heavey’s death and has since introduced other changes, including haemorrhage kits, enhanced staff training and updated search policies.

Caroline, who donated knife belts to all schools in the Sheffield area, says: “Schools are more concerned about reputation and not scaring parents, I have even heard some say: [knife arches] They look scary. However, the lack of seat belts puts children at risk.

“If there had been one at All Saints the day Harvey was murdered it would still be here today.”

Caroline is also calling for tougher punishments for children caught with knives and claims school leaders are avoiding suspensions “because it looks bad for the school’s objectives”. That day is coming Independent It reveals there were more than 700 incidents of knife crime in schools in England and Wales last year.

“Doing this, trying to raise awareness and push schools to take action, helps me move on with my life,” he says. “It’s all in Harvey’s name; I know he would want me to do this.”