Melbourne would never have fallen for Kyle and Jackie O

Want to know why Kyle and Jackie O never work in Melbourne? Why is a $200 million contract based on radio success in the southern city now in tatters and the subject of fierce litigation?

You could argue that it’s because this city hasn’t warmed to the offensive, obscene, often offensive and derogatory radio that is this duo’s commercial asset – and we can get at that too – but I think the answer is much simpler.

And much more, as the kids say, coded for Melbourne.

Why?

They weren’t funny at all.

They were not kidding at all. Real jokes. Clever, careful, well-expressed jokes.

A mysterious formula

Think about it. Have they ever really made you laugh? Out loud with something witty that doesn’t rely on the “start line” being an actual jab – belittling someone somewhere? Usually a listener, usually a woman?

This is a point that many media commentators, who mostly admire the duo’s commercial success, have never understood as they continue to agonize over the end of this series.

(Indeed, the duo’s formula for success is as mysterious as Married at First Sight’s formula: The crowd will always flock to a fight in the Coliseum.)

But Melbourne is a strange beast – and I would argue that he stands here as one of the few Melbourne radio hosts to successfully transition to Sydney broadcasts – ahem, I’ll leave that thread here…

Melbourne wary of strangers

Melbourne is a foreign market and a harder one to conquer because it is a second city.

Yes, yes – Time Out now says Melbourne is “the best city in the world”, whatever that means, but Melbourne has always played an economic, political and pop-cultural role for Sydney and is therefore much more wary of “outsiders” coming into the city. Sydney is not like that: she welcomes everyone because, to paraphrase Paul Keating’s famous insult, Sydney expects everyone to want to be there, otherwise they camp out.

So if you come to Melbourne, you come with enthusiasm and a desire to do the work of belonging; Something Kyle steadfastly refuses to do. “It just expands the footprint of the show,” the Melbourne-based said of the move, pushing back on the idea of ​​visible promotion.

Turns out it wasn’t the right call.

And then, if you can’t play your own comedy game in the Melbourne radio market and bring the laughs, you won’t make it.

Melbourne is the radio home of Hamish and Andy, Dave Hughes and Kate Langbroek. From Denise Scott, Shaun Micallef and Fifi Box.

Generation D’s Sam Pang, Red Symons and Sammy J.

This is the home of Martin and Molly, one of the most successful, nationally syndicated FM radio comedy duos of all time. I hosted Drive on ABC Melbourne radio when they were on Fox FM, and on the rare days I was off-air it became a guilty pleasure to eavesdrop on the iconic comedy partnership sending me off the rails with near-helpless laughter.

All of these hosts were able to pull off a half-hour of live stand-up just as easily as they did three hours of live on-air. He had comedy chops.

And I don’t think I’ve ever heard of them punching their audience.

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Not the way Melbourne radio presenters talk

To understand it all better, consider this: The incomparable Judith Lucy flopped in Sydney: Audiences preferred… Kyle and Jackie O.

I didn’t listen often, but when I listened to Kyle and Jackie O’s most publicized conversations, it was always shocking how brutal the caller or texter was — making fun of them, belittling them — was their version of fun. Find me systematic examples if you can, but that’s not how successful Melbourne radio presenters work.

Kyle was brutal and Jackie was servicing women for sport, like some kind of tramp Aunt Lydia. It was surprising.

It’s a Sydney commercial radio reality that has shocked me since the day I arrived here to broadcast on ABC radio 702: a host-audience relationship that resembles the alt/dom dynamic.

I couldn’t believe how tough the presenters were on their audiences (Alan Jones, John Laws) and I couldn’t believe the listeners kept coming back and asking for more. It was certainly a very successful formula for Kyle and Jackie O.

I had an interesting exchange during the week with a member of a former, hugely successful radio duo, who noted that Kyle and Jackie O’s failure in Melbourne had more to do with their refusal to engage with Melbourne audiences and their “content choices”.

But in a city with a small blemish on its shoulders – and as a Melburnian I feel like I can say this – the choice of content isn’t an “and”: it’s EVERYTHING.

If the content is almost consistently bad and takes you too far west of the comedy meridian – then in a city like Melbourne that’s a place of no return.

While we’re all wondering this weekend whether Oscar hopeful Timothèe Chalamet has yet realized that he shouldn’t want to work in ballet or opera, given that he doesn’t have the qualifications to do either, let’s celebrate the 50th anniversary of the Indigenous Dance College in Kariong, NSW.

Have a safe and happy weekend – This weekend’s soundtrack belongs to opera, of course. – and a very nice congratulations to Mr. Marty Supreme. Entertainment. Go well and go to the opera and ballet.

Virginia Trioli is the host of Creative Types and former co-host of ABC News Breakfast and Mornings on ABC Radio Melbourne.