Parents who raise kids who listen use 6 ‘magic phrases’
Parents are constantly looking for ways to listen to their children. However, many of us focus very much on making them obey at that moment, rather than building real long -term cooperation.
I have read more than 200 parents-child relationships and I am a mother myself. I learned that children listen best when they feel connected. Most of this is emotional security: to know that they are respected and to have the freedom to express their feelings.
Here is the six magical expression that calms a child’s nervous system and makes cooperation natural.
1. ‘I believe you.’
The moment they doubt the children (” Really Does it mean to do this? “), their defenses are rising. They go to protect themselves from the connection.
Faith disrupts shame and creates security. When a child feels safe, they can really hear you.
Example:
Child: “I did not knowing the water!”
Parent: “I believe you. Let’s clean together.”
You take the behavior without going into a discussion.
2. ‘Let’s solve this together.’
When a parent is only a parent barking the orders, the situation usually turns into a stance. However, when children help solve the problem, they are more likely to be solved.
Example:
Children refuses to clean toys.
Parent: “Now I see you don’t want to clean everything. Let’s solve it together. What is the first step?”
You still keep the limit while preventing power struggles.
3. ‘You can feel it. I’m right here. ‘
When children are overwhelmed, in survival mode and logic does not descend. Nervous systems need help to fight or flight and regulate their emotions. This expression confirms your feelings and guarantees that they are not alone, which helps them reset.
Example:
Pre -school, block towers have a melting when they fall. “Stop crying, you react overly” say: “You can feel it. I’m here.”
You allow the wave of emotion to pass until it is ready to interact again.
4. ‘I’m listening. Tell me what’s going on. ‘
A child must be heard before listening to you. This simple shift of paying attention before paying attention solves the resistance. When it is understood, children stop trying to push it back.
Example:
Child: “I will never play with my brother again!”
Parent: “I’m listening. Tell me what happened.”
Now you reveal the deeper pain behind anger, and this is the part where you can handle both the relationship and behavior to help repair.
5. ‘I hear you. I am with you. ‘
Many melts are increasing because children are misunderstood or conflict with the person they need the most. This expression instantly shifts you from the enemy to the ally, reduces the defenses and leads the door to solving problems.
Example:
Child: “This homework is stupid! I’m not doing it.”
Parent: “I hear you. I’m with you. Let’s find a way to make it easier.”
Knowing that you are there to help change the tone completely. The possibility of meeting you half way will be higher.
6. ‘No matter what, I got you.’
Errors can trigger ashamed. However, when children hear this expression, they learn that love is not conditional in performance or perfection.
Example:
Your child breaks a classmate’s project and takes you to tears.
Instead of doing lessons, “I got you no matter what. We will do it together.”
This is the difference between fear -based harmony and real accountability.
If I always shout or threaten the assumptions to parents, then I will tell you that the “magic expression” will not take back a deeper pattern. However, when you regularly protect your child’s dignity, make them feel safe and follow the limits, listening becomes a natural result.
Reem Rauda A leading voice and creator in conscious parenting FoundationsA step -by -step guide that helps parents to heal and emotionally safe. It is widely recognized as it redefines what it means to educate healthy children emotionally in terms of emotional safety of children. Connect with him Instagram.
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