USA

People Are Sharing The Moment They Realized The Man They Were Dating Was An Idiot, And I’m Actually Crying From Laughter

We he asked members BuzzFeed Community To share the stupidest thing someone they know has said several times. Many shared the stupid things their boyfriends or husbands said, here are the funniest ones:

1. “My first boyfriend thought a woman’s breasts swelled like a man’s penis during sex.”

-Anonymous

HBO

2. “We were talking about dinosaurs and he was shocked to hear they were real. Then he asked me if they actually breathed fire. He thought dinosaurs and dragons were the same thing.”

3. “I once dated a guy who asked me why I ‘used so much toilet paper’ every time I came to his apartment. I asked him to explain what he meant by that, and he said there was no need to wipe every time and just wanted to know if I was wasting it. I had to let him know that women really do have to wipe every time we pee.”

-Anonymous

4. “My ex-boyfriend looked confused when we were together and I told him that a woman couldn’t get pregnant from oral sex. He was 27 or 28 at the time.”

-Anonymous

5. “In my teenage years, I dated a man who bragged about being a womanizer. One day, he boasted that he was an ‘expert’ on women. I was completely confused, the gears started turning in my head. Then I asked him, ‘You mean an expert?’ I said. “He said, ‘Oh yeah, that’s it.'”

6. “I was in the hospital and my boyfriend at the time sent me a text with a picture of an ear of corn he had just peeled and asked if it had gone bad because it was yellow. He thought it had turned yellow from cooking. He was 40!”

7. “Someone thought an egg came out when her period was over. Just like…a chicken egg.”

8. “I started my period, went to the store and reached for a box of large tampons. She waved my hand away and said, ‘You don’t need this big tampon.’ I was stunned because she was trying to tell me what kind of tampon I needed based on size. The size of tampon you get depends on the amount of flow you have. I married her and it was the biggest mistake of my life.”

-Anonymous

9. “My ex-boyfriend was worried about periodic night sweats, so he Googled it. He told me he was going through menopause.”

-Anonymous

10. “My husband and I were talking about our neighbor who was diagnosed with prostate cancer, and my husband said he should probably get his prostate examined. Then he looked at me and said, ‘Honey, you should probably get your prostate checked too!’ he said. “I told him women don’t have prostates.”

Advertising

11. “My boyfriend at the time thought that when people said they bought a house with ‘cash,’ the buyers were actually bringing bags of cash to pay for the property.”

-Anonymous

12. “My college ex thought all women could secrete breast milk on demand. She wanted to try some of mine and was shocked when I told her I actually needed to have a baby first.”

-Anonymous

13. “I took my (transgender) boyfriend at the time to the doctor for stomach problems, and when the doctor asked him what problems he was having, he replied very seriously: ‘I’m not sure. All I know is that I’m in really bad pain, I think it’s my ovaries.'”

-Anonymous

14. “‘Do you feel good when you wear a tampon?’ he asked. “He seriously equated wearing a tampon with penetrative sex.”

-Anonymous

15. “I told my ex ‘benign!’ because I got the results of the tumor biopsy.” I texted. His answer? ‘I thought this place closed a long time ago?!’ “He thought I was texting about his old restaurant, Bennigan’s.”

-Anonymous

16. “A guy I was dating confidently argued: ‘India is in Africa.’ We argued until we got the map out. We never spoke again after that.”

-Anonymous

17. “My washing machine broke, so I had to take my clothes and towels to the laundromat. I handed my boyfriend a basket of clothes and told him to go ahead and put them in any washing machine. ‘Which one is the washing machine?’ he asked.

-Anonymous

18. “I told him I was going to make whole wheat bread, and he asked if he could buy whole wheat yeast.”

-Anonymous

19. “I was having a fight with my ex-boyfriend and at one point in the argument I said: ‘Do I need to repeat that?!’ to which he replied: ‘NO! ‘I want you to repeat yourself!!!’ Then I shouted at him: ‘What do you think RENEWAL means?!’ I have never heard such humiliating silence in my life. It was amazing.”

20. “My ex said to me when I told her I had a meeting with the Dean of Liberal Arts: ‘Why isn’t there a Dean of Conservative Stuff? That’s why Republicans say they hate colleges! You all can fix politics so quickly.'”

21. “My ex-boyfriend didn’t believe that geese flew south for the winter. He lived in an area (in MN) where there was a heated lake and the geese were there for the winter. I tried to explain but he didn’t believe me.”

-Anonymous

22. “He said he would make pancakes and then put the dry powder directly into the hot pan.”

Advertising

23. “He thought that gas stations were built on oil wells, which is why gas stations were built close to each other. He thought that gas stations were closed because the underground well dried up.”

-Anonymous

24. “My boyfriend thought we had entered the 20th century in December 1999.”

-Anonymous

25. “I once briefly dated a guy who thought coffee with sugar had zero calories because ‘the sugar was dissolved, so it wasn’t there.”

26. “My ex thought the Underground Railroad was about trains and he lived in the area where Harriet Tubman was from.”

27. “My first husband and I went to my cousin’s house to watch the first moon landing on television. On the way home, he asked me if I thought we might see a human stepping foot on the sun.”

-Anonymous

28. “I dated a guy who thought he only took birth control pills right before having sex. He didn’t understand that you had to take them at the same time every day to really prevent pregnancy.”

-Anonymous

29. “My ex-husband asked me how the rice multiplies while cooking in the pot. He thought it multiplies.”

-Anonymous

30. “My husband claimed he could open the window to ‘dust’ his office.”

31. And finally, “I knew a man who thought there were two suns. He went on holiday and said the sun was better where he was than at home.”

What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard a guy say? Let us know in the comments or use the anonymous form below:

People Are Sharing The Moment They Realized The Man They Were Dating Was An Idiot, And I’m Actually Crying From Laughter

We he asked members BuzzFeed Community To share the stupidest thing someone they know has said several times. Many shared the stupid things their boyfriends or husbands said, here are the funniest ones:

1. “My first boyfriend thought a woman’s breasts swelled like a man’s penis during sex.”

2. “We were talking about dinosaurs and he was shocked to hear they were real. Then he asked me if they actually breathed fire. He thought dinosaurs and dragons were the same thing.”

4. “My ex-boyfriend looked confused when we were together and I told him that a woman couldn’t get pregnant from oral sex. He was 27 or 28 at the time.”

5. “In my teenage years, I dated a man who bragged about being a womanizer. One day, he boasted that he was an ‘expert’ on women. I was completely confused, the gears started turning in my head. Then I asked him, ‘You mean an expert?’ I said. “He said, ‘Oh yeah, that’s it.'”

6. “I was in the hospital and my boyfriend at the time sent me a text with a picture of an ear of corn he had just peeled and asked if it had gone bad because it was yellow. He thought it had turned yellow from cooking. He was 40!”

7. “Someone thought an egg came out when her period was over. Just like…a chicken egg.”

9. “My ex-boyfriend was worried about periodic night sweats, so he Googled it. He told me he was going through menopause.”

11. “My boyfriend at the time thought that when people said they bought a house with ‘cash,’ the buyers were actually bringing bags of cash to pay for the property.”

12. “My college ex thought all women could secrete breast milk on demand. She wanted to try some of mine and was shocked when I told her I actually needed to have a baby first.”

13. “I took my (transgender) boyfriend at the time to the doctor for stomach problems, and when the doctor asked him what problems he was having, he replied very seriously: ‘I’m not sure. All I know is that I’m in really bad pain, I think it’s my ovaries.'”

14. “‘Do you feel good when you wear a tampon?’ he asked. “He seriously equated wearing a tampon with penetrative sex.”

15. “I told my ex ‘benign!’ because I got the results of the tumor biopsy.” I texted. His answer? ‘I thought this place closed a long time ago?!’ “He thought I was texting about his old restaurant, Bennigan’s.”

16. “A guy I was dating confidently argued: ‘India is in Africa.’ We argued until we got the map out. We never spoke again after that.”

17. “My washing machine broke, so I had to take my clothes and towels to the laundromat. I handed my boyfriend a basket of clothes and told him to go ahead and put them in any washing machine. ‘Which one is the washing machine?’ he asked.

18. “I told him I was going to make whole wheat bread, and he asked if he could buy whole wheat yeast.”

20. “My ex said to me when I told her I had a meeting with the Dean of Liberal Arts: ‘Why isn’t there a Dean of Conservative Stuff? That’s why Republicans say they hate colleges! You all can fix politics so quickly.'”

21. “My ex-boyfriend didn’t believe that geese flew south for the winter. He lived in an area (in MN) where there was a heated lake and the geese were there for the winter. I tried to explain but he didn’t believe me.”

22. “He said he would make pancakes and then put the dry powder directly into the hot pan.”

23. “He thought that gas stations were built on oil wells, which is why gas stations were built close to each other. He thought that gas stations were closed because the underground well dried up.”

24. “My boyfriend thought we had entered the 20th century in December 1999.”

25. “I once briefly dated a guy who thought coffee with sugar had zero calories because ‘the sugar was dissolved, so it wasn’t there.”

26. “My ex thought the Underground Railroad was about trains and he lived in the area where Harriet Tubman was from.”

27. “My first husband and I went to my cousin’s house to watch the first moon landing on television. On the way home, he asked me if I thought we might see a human stepping foot on the sun.”

28. “I dated a guy who thought he only took birth control pills right before having sex. He didn’t understand that you had to take them at the same time every day to really prevent pregnancy.”

29. “My ex-husband asked me how the rice multiplies while cooking in the pot. He thought it multiplies.”

30. “My husband claimed he could open the window to ‘dust’ his office.”

31. And finally, “I knew a man who thought there were two suns. He went on holiday and said the sun was better where he was than at home.”

What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard a guy say? Let us know in the comments or use the anonymous form below:

We he asked members BuzzFeed Community To share the stupidest thing someone they know has said several times. Many shared the stupid things their boyfriends or husbands said, here are the funniest ones:

1. “My first boyfriend thought a woman’s breasts swelled like a man’s penis during sex.”

2. “We were talking about dinosaurs and he was shocked to hear they were real. Then he asked me if they actually breathed fire. He thought dinosaurs and dragons were the same thing.”

4. “My ex-boyfriend looked confused when we were together and I told him that a woman couldn’t get pregnant from oral sex. He was 27 or 28 at the time.”

5. “In my teenage years, I dated a man who bragged about being a womanizer. One day, he boasted that he was an ‘expert’ on women. I was completely confused, the gears started turning in my head. Then I asked him, ‘You mean an expert?’ I said. “He said, ‘Oh yeah, that’s it.'”

6. “I was in the hospital and my boyfriend at the time sent me a text with a picture of an ear of corn he had just peeled and asked if it had gone bad because it was yellow. He thought it had turned yellow from cooking. He was 40!”

7. “Someone thought an egg came out when her period was over. Just like…a chicken egg.”

9. “My ex-boyfriend was worried about periodic night sweats, so he Googled it. He told me he was going through menopause.”

11. “My boyfriend at the time thought that when people said they bought a house with ‘cash,’ the buyers were actually bringing bags of cash to pay for the property.”

12. “My college ex thought all women could secrete breast milk on demand. She wanted to try some of mine and was shocked when I told her I actually needed to have a baby first.”

13. “I took my (transgender) boyfriend at the time to the doctor for stomach problems, and when the doctor asked him what problems he was having, he replied very seriously: ‘I’m not sure. All I know is that I’m in really bad pain, I think it’s my ovaries.'”

14. “‘Do you feel good when you wear a tampon?’ he asked. “He seriously equated wearing a tampon with penetrative sex.”

15. “I told my ex ‘benign!’ because I got the results of the tumor biopsy.” I texted. His answer? ‘I thought this place closed a long time ago?!’ “He thought I was texting about his old restaurant, Bennigan’s.”

16. “A guy I was dating confidently argued: ‘India is in Africa.’ We argued until we got the map out. We never spoke again after that.”

17. “My washing machine broke, so I had to take my clothes and towels to the laundromat. I handed my boyfriend a basket of clothes and told him to go ahead and put them in any washing machine. ‘Which one is the washing machine?’ he asked.

18. “I told him I was going to make whole wheat bread, and he asked if he could buy whole wheat yeast.”

20. “My ex said to me when I told her I had a meeting with the Dean of Liberal Arts: ‘Why isn’t there a Dean of Conservative Stuff? That’s why Republicans say they hate colleges! You all can fix politics so quickly.'”

21. “My ex-boyfriend didn’t believe that geese flew south for the winter. He lived in an area (in MN) where there was a heated lake and the geese were there for the winter. I tried to explain but he didn’t believe me.”

22. “He said he would make pancakes and then put the dry powder directly into the hot pan.”

23. “He thought that gas stations were built on oil wells, which is why gas stations were built close to each other. He thought that gas stations were closed because the underground well dried up.”

24. “My boyfriend thought we had entered the 20th century in December 1999.”

25. “I once briefly dated a guy who thought coffee with sugar had zero calories because ‘the sugar was dissolved, so it wasn’t there.”

26. “My ex thought the Underground Railroad was about trains and he lived in the area where Harriet Tubman was from.”

27. “My first husband and I went to my cousin’s house to watch the first moon landing on television. On the way home, he asked me if I thought we might see a human stepping foot on the sun.”

28. “I dated a guy who thought he only took birth control pills right before having sex. He didn’t understand that you had to take them at the same time every day to really prevent pregnancy.”

29. “My ex-husband asked me how the rice multiplies while cooking in the pot. He thought it multiplies.”

30. “My husband claimed he could open the window to ‘dust’ his office.”

31. And finally, “I knew a man who thought there were two suns. He went on holiday and said the sun was better where he was than at home.”

What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard a guy say? Let us know in the comments or use the anonymous form below: