Why complaining at a restaurant is better than venting online

When we treat ourselves to dinner and something goes wrong (the food is cold or the service is slow), it can be hard to know how to handle it.

Complaining can lead to conflict, which is why many of us find ourselves making passive-aggressive remarks or quietly raging and then heading home to vent online.

But there’s an art to restaurant complaining, according to hospitality industry professionals who gave us four tips on how to get the result you want.

Sam Morgan, chairman of Open Restaurant Group, which operates eight restaurants in England and Wales, says dining disappointments can be avoided by doing your research before booking.

“I don’t go to a restaurant that I clearly know isn’t for me,” he says. “I don’t go to an Indian restaurant and ask them why they don’t serve me lasagna.”

Getting recommendations from friends and family who know what you’re interested in can also help you make the right choice.

When you sit down to eat, be friendly and establish a good rapport with your waiter, says Leslie Ann St. John, who has worked in the restaurant industry for 15 years.

“Be nice to your server; this is the person who will be going back and forth to the kitchen for you,” she says, so if any problems arise, it’s good to put them aside.

If you’ve had a bad experience, you may want to avoid an awkward conversation at the restaurant and wait until you get home to complain.

Sam says in the UK customers generally choose not to complain directly.

“And when they send an email or leave a comment on social media, they’ll make a bunch of unreasonable threats like, ‘We’ll leave bad reviews if you don’t do X, Y, and Z,'” he adds.

But Siba Mtongana, who runs several restaurants, says this does not allow the restaurant to resolve the issue on the spot and ultimately means the issues will likely never be resolved.

“My request would be to complain to the manager that day because it is the right thing to do,” he says.

Complain immediately, he urges. If the problem cannot be fixed there, save what you can from the evening and contact your head office or, as a last resort, leave a review online.

If you’re unhappy with something, be clear about what’s wrong and the outcome you want.

“I ordered a disgustingly salty margarita,” says Leslie. “I pointed to the waiter and said, ‘I don’t mind having a little salt in my margarita, but I sip this and it feels like my blood pressure is rising.’

“He smiled and immediately took it in his hand and said ‘do you want another one or something different?'”

The most important tip is to be clear about what will solve the problem for you; Whether it is a new meal or the price to be deducted from the bill.

If you’re clear about what you want, they’ll usually do their best to make it happen, Leslie adds.

It’s easy for emotions to get out of control when a meal doesn’t go as planned, but it’s important not to lose your cool.

Leslie says, “Keep your balance and tell the server, ‘hey, this is the situation.’ If the server apparently can’t correct the situation, ‘can I see your supervisor?’ “say,” he says.

Boston-based restaurant owner Seth Gerber believes that people often avoid complaining because they think it won’t help.

“There’s an assumption that management doesn’t care or doesn’t want to fix the situation.”

But a complaint handled properly would likely be appreciated and of value to the restaurant, he says.

And finally, make sure your complaint is justified in the first place.

Sam tells how one of his customers complained about getting a ticket for driving in the bus lane on his way to the restaurant.

He said the idea that they should know the customer’s route and warn them of the risk in advance was so illogical and ridiculous.