I had insomnia for 12 years until I discovered this mistake everyone desperate for shut-eye makes. These are the nine simple tweaks that will guarantee a good night’s rest: JO ELVIN

For an Australian expat in London, long-haul flights are a fact of life. Inevitably, jet lag—that feeling of being out of sync with the clock—leads you to lie wide awake in bed for hours while everyone around you is asleep.

These days I’m slowly doing it – I know it’s only temporary – but jet lag would send me into a spiral of panic.

This was in my 20s and 30s when I was an insomniac, and the more I focused on needing sleep, the less I was able to sleep. Most nights this was around two to three hours.

Although there are many triggers for insomnia, I believe the most important factor for me is psychological. It all started when I came to London in my early 20s as the editor of a pop magazine. I loved it, but the hours were inhumane. I would regularly work 30 hours in the office.

I needed enough energy to work, but I didn’t have time for activities that could help me sleep, like exercise, socializing, or any form of relaxation.

After work, I would rush home and lie down on my bed, unable to switch off, thinking about how terrible I would feel the next day. As minutes turned into hours, I was falling into despair. I started using over-the-counter sleeping pills, but they made me feel tired when I woke up.

I even went through the phase of adding alcohol to the mix, which sometimes helped me pass out for a few hours. But we all know that alcohol is the enemy of deep sleep and wakes you up suddenly in the middle of the night. This is not a rational strategy.

Sometimes I would get so angry at my lack of sleep that I would slap my face repeatedly; I don’t remember if it was out of frustration or because I thought I might knock myself out.

But even then it didn’t occur to me to go to the doctor.

The turning point finally came when I was 35 and had a baby. I had left my job with killer hours but unfortunately I took insomnia with me and was really struggling with a baby too.

Then one day I introduced my friend Kath to my eight-week-old daughter. I was on my fourth day of one hour of sleep a night and I still remember how bad I felt; I felt nauseous, every joint ached.

I left Kath a message begging her to reschedule, but she didn’t get the message and showed up at my door.

I was terrified – wondering how I would ever have the energy to get through the visit – but I pulled myself together.

Yet it was transformative. She made me laugh and reassured me that I was doing a good enough job with my baby.

When Kath left I felt completely energized. Not only had I survived his visit, I had actually enjoyed it.

I realized that a terrible night’s sleep wasn’t the end of the world, and beating myself up about it only made it worse. After 12 years of insomnia, I finally stopped obsessing over sleep.

That was 20 years ago and my sleep has been much better since then.

While there are many triggers for insomnia, Jo Elvin believes the most important ones are psychological.

Even though there are still some nights where I struggle, I stay calm about what it will mean for the next day, making it more likely that I’ll drop out. I tell myself that even if I only get a few hours of sleep, I’ll be fine.

If you’re still struggling with insomnia, here are nine useful tips to help you get a good night’s sleep…

1. Sleep divorce

If you can, sleep in separate rooms. My husband keeps me awake with his snoring. So my anger at this means he’s afraid to breathe in there. I love him, but our relationship can’t survive sleeping in the same bed.

2. Play mind games

If I really can’t relax enough to let go, I try reverse psychology. ‘Okay,’ I say to myself, ‘You’re not allowed to close your eyes.’ Next thing I knew it was morning.

3. No coffee in the afternoon

If I have caffeine in my system, I have trouble sleeping. That’s why I leave chocolate alone in the evenings.

4. Put down your phone

The blue light emitted from our phones is a brain stimulant. My phone is turned off at 22:00 every night.

5. Ban watches too

I no longer have a bedside clock. If I need to set an alarm, I turn any clock away from me so I can’t look at the time. Knowing that it’s 4 a.m. and you have to get up in two hours is not a good thing.

6. Sleeping area only

No work or television in the bedroom. Have a space that your mind associates with nothing but peace.

7. Increase exercise

In my 20s, I was an insomniac and could barely move. If I exercise regularly, my body will put itself into recovery mode along with sleep.

8. Keep stretching

Every time I take 20 minutes to stretch properly, it’s a game changer for a deeper relaxation experience. There are lots of guided stretching exercises on YouTube.

9. Allow failure

If I’m still awake after all this, I tell myself I can always take a sick day. Cancel whatever needs to be cancelled. And actually when I tell myself it’s an option, I fall asleep.