Woman diagnosed with Alzheimer’s after getting lost in Primark for 2 hours | UK | News

When Paul Furness stopped ten years ago by his wife Nicola Furness with his battle with dual mastectomy, the couple thought that they overcome their greatest obstacles. However, as Paul said, there was an even greater challenge – “the war they won’t win”.

In July 2023, Nicola was diagnosed with a young start -up Alzheimer’s 56 years old. In a sincere speech aiming to raise awareness, Paul exclusively explained. Daily mirror The reality of life as a husband who has become a caregiver. Paul, who lives in East Yorkshire, Beverley, first realized in 2019, starting from small events, Nicola’s forgetfulness and confusion.

“He used to make a cup of tea, but he just poured into hot water and then left away. He repeated the questions he asked me and even went home with our girls and passed the top of our street for 25 years.”

Paul also shared how Nicola opened the gas, but shared that he was extremely upset by burning while cooking and a new business computer system and lost all his self -confidence in the process. Once, he disappeared for about two hours in Primark, because he found that his order was “confusing”.

Things have become dangerous. “Nicola went to a friend’s party. Then he said that I left him and continued to drink alcohol. He was stopped by the police and breathed on his way home. He passed, but they could see how complicated he was, and the police drove his house.”

In addition to losing the capacity of cooking, cleaning the house and shopping, managing his wife’s personal hygiene is another gray area that is often overlooked and not discussed sufficiently. Paul decided to change it.

“I have to take a shower because he was going to go into the shower with his pants. I have to tell him what to do with a shower gel and shampoo. He’s tiring.

“You would think that a 58 -year -old woman would find all of them annoying, but it has passed the point of knowing that Alzheimer’s had. It can be mentioned in TV soaps and we no longer speak as we have two years ago; she doesn’t realize that it has.”

Paul has been working as an operational manager with the local council and has left the “too much ball in the air” for a few years. It fell to 15.5 hours a week from working full -time. I’m only 55 years old, I’m not ready to retire yet. Too early. “

While confessing that retirement will mean that life means “only about Alzheimer’s”, it is not a situation where it is financially comfortable. “My youngest daughter is at the drama school, she costs me a reserve. We had to make interruptions and sacrifices. Now I have to be careful about how I manage money.”

This financial concern has made it very important to get the right diagnosis. This allowed Nicola to quit as a ‘patient health retired’, a status that creates an important financial difference compared to rejection for long -term diseases. But this came at a hard, different cost, Paul remembers Paul.

“He despised the entire diagnostic process, because it was drawn and took a long time – it was incredibly emotionally humiliated.

“It was terrible, then it was sent for IT scans, MRI scans and then a mental health control. This was a exhausting because it’s a very special person.”

Paul has fulfilled plans to protect what he could do, accepting that he had declined in the last few months and has been “quite too much”.

“It won’t be better, it will get worse. We do something like going on vacation with him, so we can make memories – but really, these memories for me and my daughters. We take too many photos and then put them in books so that he can remember the experience.

“Nikki is living right now, but at least I am very lucky to give him these experiences. I don’t know how long this will take – it’s getting harder.”

As Paul, as the main caregiver, he explains that he has rarely reached the point where he can rarely come out alone. “I can’t leave it now. I went to the toilet and went to call me when I was far away. I lost him for a minute, but it was the longest minute of my life. It was an absolute panic.”

Paul’s only sacrifice is not personal time. A passionate Hull City FC fan and the old loyal season ticket owner no longer participate in the matches. Four years have passed since it touched Alcohol. “I have to stay very calm and I have to be very patient, so alcohol no.”

An event that Paul is connected is working. Before Alzheimer’s shot, the only search he protected from his life is running with a club from Monday to Wednesday when he is at work.

His 79 -year -old mother stays at a night to help Nicola while he gets the opportunity to escape and discuss with a desperate respite and Alzheimer. “This is a release valve for me. We will talk about our children and what they are doing. He encourages me and takes me a break and escapes.”

It also brings Nicola to the park for Yoga, Parkrunlar and Sports Hall sessions. “In a completely wrong position for everyone in the classroom, but it doesn’t matter – the instructors are very kind and spend a lot of time with it.”

When he once heard the music, especially the retro spirit of the 80s – Paul’s gaze, whom Paul knows he heard the moments when he describes as a “beautiful thing”.

“The music makes him back to life. It’s like he’s got him back. This month we’ll see a Luther Vandross tribute,” he explains, confessing that they witness the performance of the same action. “Nicola is singing, dancing and coming alive. Music is a very strong thing.

“This is also fascinating. When he’s going to remember the songs Word for Word, I would normally say something to him and he went three seconds later.” Being can be isolated.

Paul’s friends, a supportive mother and two daughters – 25 and Lydia, 20 – but loneliness can occur. “I have no one to let me do anything at the weekend. I have tried foreign aid before, but it rejects them.

“I can be very lonely because Nicky was a trained, articulated, lively, funny, compassionate, compassionate woman, and now it’s just a pale shadow.

“There is no conversation there except to ask for something, because the conversation is disappearing. I miss the woman I am married and I have children.

Following the diagnosis of his wife, Paul, who has gathered about £ 12,000 for Dementia UK and Alzheimer’s society, is still able to see the old Nikki under the surface.

“If we go for shopping, I try to avoid Tesco because there is a clothing section and it is only obsessed that there is nothing to wear. Every time we go in, I buy another pajama set!”

As a father, Paul is an important concern for his adult girls. “They showed me that both of them were incredibly flexible. My biggest was qualified as a rented accountant, and the smallest of the smallest Drama School. The only thing I don’t want to see is the health and situation of their mothers.”

Each couple hosts future longings and goals, but Paul accepts it as much earlier than expected. “I see this as dealing with things 25 years ago without thinking that I can have it.

“We learned just before our wedding anniversary. Instead of going for Italian dinner, we went to Calabria in Italy on holiday. We spent a week there and still raw.”

Remember that Fiona Phillips, a television presenter who published a new book, diagnosed a 60 -year -old Alzheimer’s disease last month. Her husband, Martin Frizell, opened up about the difficulties of being a caregiver, that his wife requires Fiona’s “too much help”, “too much help”, including blackmails, “too much help”, “dressing” as he thought.

As another wife of maintenance capacity, Paul identifies with Martin’s conditions. “I echo with Martin. Everything they live in is the same as me – we live a similar life.” Paul, which operates in survival mode today, takes every day as it comes. “Keep repeating things that make you smile in life.

“Because you don’t know when life will catch you. You have to wake up and reset and put a smile on your face every day. You can’t hurt yourself.

“You can’t just focus on the negative aspects of life. You will just go under.” This was a heartfelt conversation and carried out with a Paul Honor, courage and respect, but when everything is considered, there is nothing that changes how the future will emerge.

“I miss him and this will get harder. It’s like watching someone’s disappearance in front of you. This is not a normal part of the aging process. He is now someone I know.”

The Alzheimer’s Association exists for anyone who is affected by the dementian through the website. Alzheimers.org.uk and Dementia support line in 0333 150 3456.