The 5 money questions you MUST ask your partner before having children, according to experts – from private school fees to covering living costs during parental leave 

Having children has always been a financial decision as well as an emotional one, but money concerns appear to be the main reason why people are rethinking the size of their family these days.

A recent study by the United Nations Population Fund found that 39 percent of people worldwide have or plan to have fewer children than they originally hoped due to financial constraints.

Narrowing the focus to the UK, a YouGov survey published in March this year found that the ‘most common main reason for choosing to remain childfree’ among Britons was additional expenses.

While having a baby undoubtedly comes with a significant cost, it is also possible to prepare financially for parenthood.

But the first step is not to rush to this or that savings plan, but for partners to understand each other’s financial habits.

‘Talking about money before kids may not sound romantic, but it’s more helpful than daydreaming about baby names,’ says Thinkmoney consumer expert Vix Leyton.

‘Couples who have the same salary on paper, save regularly and are knowledgeable about retirement may still have blind spots when spending becomes emotional.’

Vix also pointed out that when it comes to assessing a couple’s financial preparedness for their children, it’s ‘about values, not just budgets.’

Therefore, while it is necessary to clarify practical issues such as the maternity and paternity policies at work of both partners, it is equally important to delve into each other’s general attitudes towards money, which were probably formed in childhood.

‘Talking about where your approach to money comes from and how your habits are formed can really help your partner understand your money personality,’ said Susan Hope of Scottish Widows. ‘It also opens the door to conversations about habits you might want to work on together.’

With all this in mind, the Daily Mail spoke to a range of financial experts about both the deep and practical questions you and your partner should be asking before stepping into parenthood.

1. What are your long-term financial priorities?

According to Sophie Graham, personal finance expert at Sunny, it makes sense for couples to be on the same page about long-term financial goals before having children.

Whether it’s buying a bigger home or retiring early, people’s financial priorities tend to determine their current approach to money.

If two partners have different goals about what they want to achieve financially, they will have a hard time agreeing on even basic issues like how much to spend and how much to save each month.

According to Sophie, it would be beneficial for both partners to make these ‘key decisions’ together before ‘money gets even tighter’ and tensions escalate with the addition of a new person to the family.

2. What does ‘providing’ care for the child mean to you?

‘One person’s perception of ‘providing’ might be a dedicated nursery and an Instagram-worthy pram, while another person is happily looking at everything second-hand,’ said consumer expert Vix Leyton. ‘The same goes for whether you expect to finance milestones like university, first car or even a wedding.’

Equally, if one partner has grown up assuming private school is the only way to have potential children and the other believes it is a waste of money, this is a ‘serious difference’.

As a major expense, whether a couple decides to spend money on school fees will greatly impact how much they can expect to spend on the family’s other financial needs and goals.

3. What are your non-negotiable expenses?

Rajan Lakhani, personal finance expert and Money Manager at smart money app Plum, pointed out that ‘becoming a parent often means changing your lifestyle.’

While this often requires both partners to give up certain luxuries, parenthood doesn’t have to mean ‘sacrifice your relationship or your own happiness.’

He offers advice to couples who are waiting to agree on an activity that will both give them pleasure and make room in their budget.

‘Prioritizing your time together not only keeps your relationship strong, but also reminds you that it’s okay to enjoy your money, even in this new chapter of life,’ Rajan said.

4. What are the employer’s maternity and paternity policies?

Financial experts agree that it’s absolutely crucial to understand the details of employers’ policies for both maternity and paternity before deciding to have children.

‘Before your baby arrives, it is important to sit down together and evaluate whether maternity or paternity pay will be enough to cover your daily expenses,’ said Rajan Lakhani.

Partners need to know exactly how much maternity or paternity pay they will receive, calculate how long it will last and whether it will be enough to cover living expenses.

She added: ‘If your income is not sufficient during parental leave, aim to contribute jointly to a maternity/paternity fund.

‘Try to work out how much leave you want to take and how much of this will be paid by your employer.

‘For example, if your salary is £2,000 per month and your employer covers four months paid in full (£8,000), you would need around £16,000 extra to cover the remaining eight months. ‘This represents a savings of £8,000 per person.’

5. How do you deal with financial crises?

“It is also worth planning for the unexpected,” said Anna Mudock, Head of Wealth Planning at JM Finn. Part of this, he explained, was putting in place a will early on.

And having an ’emergency fund’ is equally important as there will be unexpected expenses as children get older, whether it’s a broken stroller or a surprise school trip.

Fiona Peake, personal finance expert at Ocean Finance, said: ‘An emergency fund gives you relief and prevents you from turning to credit cards at the first hurdle.

‘If you don’t have one yet, talk about how to build it together.’