The Sunbed King stifles a yawn at Chequers while Keir twitches at the press | John Crace

IT takes all kinds of. Weapon to stand under the metal sky, watching soldiers are not the idea of ​​entertainment, but world leaders are a different breed. A little Pageantry and praise are not noticed. So why don’t you give Donald Trump the full Disney treatment he desires? After all, it wasn’t as if it wasn’t allowed to deviate outside the Windsor Castle compound, and it was better than the King’s sitting inside and watching Fox News.

But if there was a Softening of Wednesday – “You are great, you are the best, the world would stand without you. And a real danger to the US President and Keir Starmer. Press conference is a press conference where everything can leave. The only lice of the trip, which is not completely scenario.

You could see the anxiety in Starmer’s eyes while entering Sunbed King’s Great Hall in Dama. A wood panels and countless mediocre portraits. The US Press Corps stopped and applauded. Really? The UK pack was seated. Keir gave an anxious look at the journalists. “Please don’t ruin it for me, guys. Give me this win.” Donald looked still. So often, he disappeared in his own world. Its Truman show. The center of the universe. Everyone only followed their ego. Even keir. Especially keir. Just another beta male.

Starmer launched business with a mill speech designed to avoid shaking the boat. Everything was great. This was the best visit to the state so far and nobody could tell him differently. England and the United States always loved each other and always worked. Not so far. And thanks to the US president. Perhaps Keir did not try to check that Donald’s Atlantic side was not popular. But go back to Trump. He was the best. The bringer of technical trade agreements. The architect of the world peace. Even better than the bond.

Donald was bored during this time. As if he prefers to be in a place other than answering questions from the media. It was as if he was tired of schmoosh of the United Kingdom, and he was looking forward to going back to DC. Or perhaps on Wednesday night, the farm house at the state feast reminded about the chicken. He really came to England. All this was just routine. No glow. I have no glory.

Finally, Keir was injured and delivered to agent Orange. Donald looked at his notes. Be grateful. Do not shake the boat. Try not to humiliate Starmer in his backyard. Certainly. He could manage it immediately. He was grateful for the rightful honors given to him. King – “Great Human” – he would never do it for Joe Biden. Biden was lost. Worst.

He personally solved seven of the most stubborn wars in the world. He came in peace. A shame for not making progress in Ukraine or Gaza. But sooner or later he was going to walk around. Don’t just mention the last Alaska summit that Vladimir Putin was made to look stupid.

Then the questions came. The first of the BBC in Palestine and Israel. Trump was the only man who had an impact on Israel. Why didn’t he use it? Starmer made us talking a lot about it. They both wanted the war to end and the hostages be released. Trump just muttered. The great peaceful seemed to be Clueless about how to solve the situation as the rest. The people of Gaza could have expected to bomb for a while.

On the problem of illegal migration, Donald had some kind of advice. Send the army. Crack a few skulls. Get some target applications. This was what he did, and he had studied a treatment. Keir twitches this issue. One night, an Indian Indian returned to France. This was a beginning. Fortunately, we quickly moved to global politics. Donald in his breaking news, now announced that he ended one of the worst conflicts in the world. Between Albania and Azerbaijan. There was a war that even the world did not know. It wasn’t for a simple reason. Perhaps I stopped a war between Australia and Turkmenistan.

Donald easily answered three questions from the US media. To a large extent, because he chooses three stoogs from right -wing organizations that will never ask anything difficult. Keir could only applaud. There are times he had to wish to be American. Although we have now learned that Keir was a religious Christian during his visit to the state – at least during the state visit. Wait to see a pile of ash.

And it was about it. Starmer breathed a great relief. The killer got rid of the experience without asking the question. Demob felt happy and invited a few more questions from the England pool. Big mistake. Of course, Sky’s Beth Rigby, who asked the Mandelson/Epstein question. Really? REALLY? Did you have to ask this?

Starmer was wrinkled. Donald came in. He had never heard Mandy. I never met him. There is nothing to see here. This was someone for keir. Normally, Peter, who denies three times. This was an epic lie. Trump loved Mandy. His master was almost present in the White House. The ghost of a smile crossed Starmer’s face. Maybe this nonsense should try.

Time is up. Keir had enough. He had escaped more or less alive. He could get much worse. He knew Trump was a bandit operator, but he could have lived with it. Thanks, the state visit is finally over. It’s time to focus on getting rid of the party conference. “That’s all,” Starmer said. The US Press Corps stood up again to applaud.