Three ways to stop nerves
Job interviews are strange spaces. Talented people walk in prepared and leave wondering why their brains have suddenly forgotten things they’ve known for years.
I’ve worked with senior leaders, high-potential graduates, and experienced executives for over a decade, and I can say with confidence: Interview nerves are common, human, and mean much less about talent than most people think.
Yet we still perpetuate a comfortable myth that interviews reward the most qualified person. In fact, they often reward the individual who can achieve competence under pressure. This is a completely different skill. And we don’t teach that enough.
The moment evaluation and judgment enter the room, the nervous system goes into overdrive. Your heart rate increases, your ability to recall your memory decreases, your self-awareness slowly emerges, and suddenly a simple question weighs on you.
Beyond rehearsing your answers, here are three practical ways to show up with calm, convincing confidence.
1. Treat this as a two-way conversation. One of the mistakes many candidates make is that they approach the interview with desperation: You have a job and I need that job. However, this can turn into tension or, worse, despair.
Instead of saying “I handle pressure well,” describe a time when you managed a tight deadline or a difficult stakeholder.
This mentality creates instant pressure. And when people are desperate to impress, they become extremely self-conscious, monitoring how they sound, how they look, whether they’re saying the “right” thing. That’s when the answers become rigid and originality is lost.
A stronger framework is mutual evaluation. Yes, the employer evaluates talent. But you also evaluate suitability. Is the role, culture, leadership, growth aligned with what you want? This is a two-way decision.
This change changes how the brain reads the situation, which changes how you show up.
2. Replace the adjectives with evidence. I conducted thousands of screening interviews early in my career. I kept hearing this: I am proactive. I am a strong communicator. I am a team player.
None of this was revealed without evidence. What made someone stand out was that they offered a specific example or short story to support what they were saying.
Instead of saying “I handle pressure well,” describe a time when you managed a tight deadline or a difficult stakeholder. Briefly color the picture. What happened, what action did you take, what changed as a result?
For example, “Two weeks before the product launch, our supplier pulled out. I found alternatives and reworked the timeline with the team. As a result, we launched just three days late and kept our largest customer.”
People remember stories and trust examples.
3. Calm the body first. Interview anxiety is physiological. Trying to “think calmly” when your body feels threatened rarely works. The body first needs to know that it is safe. Here are two simple tools you can use right now to help signal your inner security and organize your situation.
First, inhale with a longer exhalation before the conversation begins (e.g. inhale for a count of four, exhale for a count of eight). A slow, long exhale tells the nervous system that there is no immediate threat.
Second, ground your stance. Whether standing or sitting, keep your feet planted firmly on the floor, your shoulders relaxed, and your chin aligned. Due to the brain-body feedback loop, your posture affects how stable and confident you feel and how you look.
Interviews rarely reveal the full picture of someone’s talent. All they do is capture a narrow snapshot of how someone handles evaluation, judgment, uncertainty, and pressure over a short period of time. It’s a flawed system, but it’s the one most businesses still rely on.
Anxiety often arises because something is important. But when left unmanaged, it can ruin how talented you appear to be. That’s why the person who can handle their nerves best at that moment is often the one who gets the call back.
Shade ZahraiPhD is the author of best-selling books. Great Confidence: Reboot Self-Doubt, Find Your Confidence, and Increase Success. He is also a behavioral researcher and an award-winning peak performance trainer.
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Shadé Zahrai, PhD, is the bestselling author of Big Trust: Reframe Self-Doubt, Find Your Confidence, and Increase Success. He is a behavioral researcher and award-winning, top-performing educator trusted by Fortune 100 companies to build confident, high-performing leaders and teams.Connect with: Facebook or email.
