Tips on first impressions, dating and ghosting from A Regency Guide To Seduction

First of all, allow yourself to feel shocked, because there is nothing better than the daring display of an uninvited self-portrait. If a gentleman (or gentlemanly woman) chooses to flaunt his assets without a proper invitation, consider this an indication of his character.

The correct answer depends on your sensitivity. Are you completely horrified by this impromptu work of art? Maybe a light joke or a harsh rebuke may be needed. For example, “Thank you for reminding me that I need to buy some baby carrots.” Or how about gentle silence? It’s a subtle reminder that courtship is a delicate dance best conducted with good manners.

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If you want to continue the conversation, make it clear that such advances are premature. And remember, true charm and good taste rarely require such bold displays.

First impression tips… Subtlety is important

Catch their eyes with grace, because a single glance or smile can make even the shyest admirer stand out.

Add a touch of mystery

Leave some room for intrigue. Some uncertainty can increase anticipation and encourage curiosity.

first date

We only went on one date, but it went very well. Should I delete my dating profiles?

I fear that your desire to reduce the possibility of other alliances may be premature. Deleting your profiles sends a signal of seriousness and intent; this is a sign that everything is included in this one connection. However, if your suitor understands and feels that you are too powerful, this may have a negative impact on him. Pull yourself together; It’s not time to choose your wedding list yet! Whether or not you choose to connect with new connections, it may be most prudent to keep your options open.

First date tips …Dress to dazzle, but for yourself first

Choose a suit that boosts your self-confidence rather than restricting your lung capacity, because nothing appeals more than self-confidence.

Don’t be too quick to judge

The time it takes to sip a sherry is not enough time to fully get to know a person or their suitability as a partner.

Ball

I will meet your friends for the first time. How can I make a good impression?

Meeting your loved one’s friends can feel like a review lounge. But a calm facial expression and a kind smile will bring you more favor than any show of enthusiasm could ever do. Aim to be interesting, but not overly familiar. A few thoughtful questions about their profession (“What do you do?”) or property (“Do you live in London, too?”) will endear you to them and help the conversation flow naturally.

Just be your usual charming self and let your intelligence and wisdom shine through in small doses. A well-placed compliment or a genuine chuckle will win over even the hardest of hearts without sacrificing one iota of dignity.

ball tips …Enter with grace, not glory

A quiet and confident entrance often speaks louder than gold, shine or fair skin.

Dance like no one’s watching

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If dancing isn’t your forte, remember this: Enthusiasm (and a shot of tequila) goes a long way.

Evening meal

They ordered food for both of us without asking me first. Should I say something?

It sounds like your date has taken a pretty forward approach! While some may see this as a charming display of initiative, others may feel that their preferences (and allergies or intolerances) are callously ignored.

If you’re inclined to tackle this topic, a light and fun approach is best. When the food arrives, you can smile and say: “How adventurous! But next time, I’d love to choose my own meal.” Or, “I would never have thought to try steak medium rare.”

This should communicate your preference without causing offense. If they get the hint and bring you a menu, all is well; If they don’t, you may have uncovered a tendency to lead the dance without your participation. In this case, consider whether their captaincy suits your tastes, both in startups and in life. Will they always insist on sourdough instead of olives? Will they never order dessert because their PT will be angry?

Worse yet, will they deny you your desires beyond the dinner table?

We both reached for the account at the same time and now it feels weird. Should I insist on payment or let them handle it?

The strange dance of settlement is as old as time. If you both hold out your hands for the bill, a delicate approach rather than a bullish approach is best. Politely say “Allow” and observe their reaction. If they really want to pay, accept their offer graciously, as it may be an act of courtesy or habit on their part (or they may have a one-for-one coupon).

However, if they hesitate, you can insist on treating them. Be sure to add a quick note aside so they can pick up the next one. This makes it even more enjoyable to infer that another date is imminent.

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Remember, sharing the cost of an evening is a sign of mutual respect and modern sensibility (as well as a requirement in most circles). If they insist on treating you, a simple “thank you” will end the matter gracefully.

dinner tips … Trust in burgundy

If your evening pleasure does not depend on a glass of wine, be proud of your sparkling water. Reality is much more intoxicating.

Beware of menu incompatibility

If their tastes exceed your budget, look for places that will satisfy both their appetites and your purse.

Sex

I don’t have the body of an Instagram influencer and I’m worried they’ll be turned off if we get naked.

First, let me present a very liberating truth: The most important thing is not the shape or form of the person, but the confidence with which you carry it. Unfortunately, the dangers of comparison are something everyone is unfortunately all too familiar with and needs to work hard to overcome. If your friend is worthy of such a look, it means that he is not only interested in external appearances, but also in the beauty of your soul and the tenderness of your touch. Also remember that vulnerability is one of the most attractive qualities a person can express. But confidence is the best form of attraction.

Failing that, get under the covers, count to three, and undress yourself. It’s like removing a plaster cast, except with the potential to orgasm shortly afterwards.

Sex tips… The best performance in bed is not a show

Curiosity, communication and the desire to laugh are much more seductive than perfection.

Confidence is the best bedroom outfit

No filter or influencer’s physique can overshadow someone who is comfortable in their own skin.

ghosting

I’ve developed the ick and I’m not interested anymore. Is it okay to ghost or do I owe them an explanation?

Etiquette dictates that a brief explanation is required. You’ve dined with this person, danced with them, maybe even invited them into your bedroom. There’s a chance that your sudden absence could hurt and confuse them, which I’m sure the kinder person in you would prefer to avoid. However, if you bother to explain your feelings and lower your commitment and they continue to pursue you, there is no ghosting. This may be the only way to prevent further persistence.

Ghosting tips… Don’t waste time with second chances

One unanswered text could be a sign of inattention, three is a sign. Put your phone away and protect your reputation.

They don’t care that much about you

While abduction or contagious disease are possible, these are far from likely. Stop looking for answers and start moving forward.

And finally…

If you could give me one last pearl of wisdom, remember to show yourself the same grace you try to project to others. It’s not always easy to connect, show vulnerability, and begin close relationships. But if you allow good hearts to see yours and share yourself fully, then there is romance to be enjoyed, one fan excited at a time.

Telegraph, London

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