We can’t put a warship to sea, Trump’s frozen him out, Britain is a laughing stock… but desperate and deluded Keir Starmer insists he IS in control…

Keir Starmer was branded a dreamer on Thursday night after insisting he had the Middle East crisis under control.

In an emergency press conference, the Prime Minister claimed he had shown ‘calm, collected leadership’.

But Britain’s relationship with its most important ally has hit a new low as Donald Trump branded it a ‘loser’.

Sir Keir called on Mr Trump to ‘stand down’ from the crisis and negotiate with what remains of Iran’s leadership. But the Prime Minister admitted that despite the global crisis, he had not spoken to the US President for almost a week following their spectacular falling out.

It has also faced a growing chorus of criticism from allies in the Middle East over a lack of preparedness after an RAF base on the island was hit by an Iranian drone, leading Cyprus to seek military support from France, Italy and Spain rather than Britain.

In further ridiculous scenes, the UK failed to get the first evacuation flight off the ground from Oman, despite other countries having no such problems.

Shadow Foreign Secretary Priti Patel said Sir Keir had denied it, adding: ‘Never in the history of our great nation has a Government been so weak at a time when our people and our allies are under attack.

‘Britain’s weak Prime Minister has failed in his duty to defend Britain’s place in the world, failed to work with our allies, failed to support our interests in the region and failed to provide the leadership needed to protect our military personnel, bases and British citizens.’

But Sir Keir admitted that despite the global crisis, he had not spoken to Donald Trump (seen at the White House) for almost a week following their spectacular falling out.

Sir Keir was forced to publicly defend his actions after days of criticism.

In a hastily organized press conference, he accused President Trump of plunging the Middle East into “chaos.”

He defended his decision to refrain from taking any ‘offensive’ action against Tehran even after British bases were targeted.

Sir Keir suggested the effects of the conflict could last for months, with potentially huge impacts on energy bills and living costs, and the possibility of a new refugee crisis.

He acknowledged that relatives of the tens of thousands of British citizens trapped in the war zone were ‘worried sick’ but said a mass evacuation ‘is not going to happen overnight’.

He added: ‘I want you to know that your government is determined in our response at home and abroad.

‘We will do everything we can to protect British lives, promote British values ​​and protect the national interest.’

Sir Keir did not deny reports from the start that suggested he wanted to allow US jets to fly ‘defensive’ missions from British bases, but was blocked by Ed Miliband and other senior ministers who questioned whether having a positive relationship with the US was ‘a good thing for Labor right now’.

Asked whether Mr Miliband was now responsible for foreign policy, the Prime Minister’s spokesman said: ‘As you would expect, the Prime Minister and the Foreign Secretary, along with key members of the Cabinet, have been key players in decision-making on this matter.’

Labour’s former shadow chancellor, John McDonnell, suggested Sir Keir would have been sacked if he had allowed Britain to be dragged into war.

Kemi Badenoch said it was ‘shocking’ that the party’s political considerations played a role in determining the government’s response to the US request.

He said the RAF should take part in bombing raids aimed at eliminating Iran’s ballistic missile launchers, telling the BBC: ‘Sometimes the best way to de-escalate a situation is to try to end it as soon as possible, rather than letting it drag on because you don’t want to get involved.

‘When our bases were attacked, we became part of it whether we wanted to or not.’

Writing in the Daily Mail, the Conservative Party leader said: ‘Even now, with our brave soldiers and women under attack, Starmer remains undecided. Our allies are rightfully angry.’

Nigel Farage said the Government should have supported the US-Israeli attack on Iran ‘from day one’.

The Reform Britain leader said Sir Keir appeared to be the victim of Mr Miliband’s ‘Leftist revolt’ which had left Britain ‘humiliated’ on the world stage.

President Trump stepped up his criticism of Sir Keir, telling the New York Post on Thursday night: ‘He was very disappointing; his performance was about our massive attack on an enemy country.

‘I’m very surprised Keir. ‘I’m very disappointed.’

A source told The Daily Telegraph: ‘Trump started calling Starmer a loser. He said this at a dinner with friends.

‘He just thinks Starmer has no future anymore.’

Bahrain and the United Arab Emirates are said to have accused Sir Keir of doing too little to defend British interests and allies in the region.

Spectator magazine reported that senior figures in Jordan were ‘furious’ at the Government. And Cyprus’ high commissioner publicly said he was ‘disappointed’ by the UK’s response.

Sir Keir announced that Britain will send four more Typhoon jets to Qatar.

Defense Minister John Healey also visited Cyprus in an attempt to mend fences with a country that feels it has become a target of Iran due to the presence of the RAF Akrotiri base.