Why staying home is better than going out

April 1, 2026 — 15:00

Has staying in become the new way of going out? When I reminded my wife that we had a dinner date with friends, she was horrified. “Oh no, we can’t go out tonight. I mean, we only just went out… in January.”

Disappointed, I then tried to get a promise to attend a friend’s 70th party in Byron Bay. But he shook his head theatrically.

“Out of range of your parole bracelet, right?” I spoke intelligently through thin lips.

Staying at home has its benefits: You no longer need to have fancy dinners at expensive restaurants with friends who consider themselves “foodies.”Getty

When I complained that he was antisocial, he pointed to the rain pouring through the window pane, tapped the couch next to him, and opened a new crime thread.

I thought about the night ahead, making small talk with glamorous poseurs at a dinner party. These artistic friends tend to invite people who have nothing to say and spend the whole night saying it. At their last party, I sat next to the arrogant, sullen, pale Ozempik bore who insisted on giving me a detailed account of his “weight loss journey” while sipping gin and soda because the tonic had made him too fat. While I was afraid of heights, this woman was afraid of width.

With a shudder, I kicked off my heels, curled up on the couch next to my boyfriend, and surrendered to comfort.

Cuddling up in your warm jim-jams at home also eliminates the risk of accidentally encountering an enemy.

KATHY LETTE

There are other benefits to staying at home. You no longer need to have fancy dinners at expensive restaurants with friends who consider themselves “foodies”. Ah, the boring hours I spent consulting olive oil sommeliers about the difference between Spanish picoteric and Greek Koroneiki varieties. The only thing I know about olives is how much I love them in a martini; I would ideally get drunk quickly to numb myself to such gastronomic extravagance.

Another food bug is bill sharing. While your dining companions may have feasted on truffles, oysters, and seagull eggs collected by gourmets rappelling off cliff walls and you’ve only had a burger with a beer, a 50-50 split is a must.

Cuddling up in your warm jim-jams at home also eliminates the risk of accidentally encountering an enemy. While I was happily chatting with an old friend at a book launch the other day, my blood ran cold like a heroine in the movie Dracula. A critic attacking one of my novels was approaching me with fake smiles.

“I should have guessed it was you,” I said, avoiding his Judas kiss. “The sky darkened and all the pets in the neighborhood started running in circles.”

One of the best things about turning 60 is that I’ve become f-to intolerant – the inability to tolerate other people’s f-witty conversation. It’s a phrase I use now too – and not just because it’s pinned to my pillows – but it can also turn you into a bit of a social pariah in a party situation.

Staying at home also eliminates the fear of a breathalyzer. Only three things get better over time: George Clooneystilton and vino. There is no argument that wine gets better with age; The older I get the more I love it. So, given the state of the world, have we ever needed more booze? Not going out means it’s always wine.

Say goodbye to smart suits, well-groomed paws and salon-perfect hair as you walk around with your worn-out old favourites. My current casual outfit looks like I’m walking through a charity shop covered in superglue.

Staying at home also takes away the pressure to post Instagram photos of your sensational social life, such as yachting, hiking in the Mediterranean. Himalayas or doing fancy exercise classes like Bikram yoga. The relief of no longer trying to do advanced cobra, carob, camel and eagle poses in the sauna. In fact, these days I get so excited when I can stretch my leg into the tub to shave.

And of course, by staying here, I don’t inflict my own rude behavior on others. So yes, my antisocial partner is right – staying in is the new way to go out… I can’t wait to go out and tell everyone about it.

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