How I deliver candid feedback in ‘a couple seconds’ without hurting feelings
Whether it’s a heated basketball game or racing against the clock to meet a deadline at work, sometimes it’s necessary to deliver constructive criticism quickly.
Sonia Raman, head coach of the WNBA Seattle Storm, says taking the time to offer feedback in a comforting way, such as using the “sandwich approach” to split criticism between two compliments, simply isn’t possible when you’re in a tough situation.
“When the ball goes out of bounds, you might have a few seconds to talk to a player before we go out and move on to the next play,” says Raman during a basketball game. “There won’t be much time. You have to be really forthright and go for it.”
But offering sincere criticism in a heated moment can be risky. Raman says he relies on the relationships and trust he has built with the players throughout the year to avoid hurt feelings.
Former Memphis Grizzlies assistant coach Sonia Raman reviews film with player Gregory Jackson on February 4, 2024 in Boston, Massachusetts.
Paul Rutherford | Getty Images Sports | Getty Images
Raman says he builds trust in a variety of ways, whether through one-on-one meetings, side conversations during practice or taking players out for lunch or dinner. Every relationship is unique, but the most important part is having real interactions.
“As I make these connections and [my players] Once I start to understand that I care and that I care about them as people, not just the wins and losses, the rest of the conversations start flowing,” says Raman.
How to build true trust in the workplace?
How are you changing? Approaching small talk can be a simple but powerful way to build trust and genuine rapport in the workplace, leadership and workplace researcher Zach Mercurio said in May.
Instead of talking about the weather, take the opportunity to ask questions that show genuine interest in the other person: “I know things have been a little hectic this week. How are you holding up?” Or “I heard your son graduated this week. Congratulations! How did you celebrate?” Mercurio said.
Amazon CEO Andy Jassy said last year that building trust is about being honest, authentic and sincere when talking about business. “If you are a compliant employee or focus only on the positives as a boss, no one will trust you,” he said.
“If you want to gain confidence: If you say you have something, deliver. If you have something and things are not going well, be self-critical and fix it,” Jassy said.
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