Weaponised incompetence is rife at work. Here’s how to shut it down in the office
I have a confession to make. As someone who loves to write, I also love to read quickly. I expect people to hang on my every word. But I definitely won’t do that in return. Oh no, I’ll definitely give it a quick read.
And because I read everything quickly, I tend to miss things. Actually, many things. But it’s okay because I told my team about my weaknesses in this area. I openly admit that my attention to detail is terrible.
This is who I am. And now that I’ve made it clear, instead of it being a problem for me to solve, I’ve made it their problem. And this age-old move is the weaponization of incompetence at its best.
People think that weaponized awkwardness is reserved for romantic relationships. The partner who “doesn’t know” how to properly load the dishwasher, so he or she is never asked again. But it is just as common in the workplace, and we have all been perpetrators and victims of it.
It’s your coworker who doesn’t know how to export this document to PDF and asks you to figure it out for him (just once, please and thank you).
It is the manager who avoids conflict at all costs so they never have harsh conversations with underperforming team members. Instead, they escalate the issue to HR. Months pass. The behavior continues. The rest of the team quietly fills the gap. But hey, they warned you that they are bad at confrontation.
Being aware of our own incompetence is certainly better than blissful ignorance. However, awareness alone is not enough.
Or my personal favorite, the team member who is constantly rude to everyone but says, “That’s just my personality.” Thanks for the explanation, but your personality is no excuse for being an idiot.
Armed incompetence is difficult to address. One of the reasons it’s hard to talk about is because one openly admits one’s own incompetence. They have a certain level of self-awareness about their weaknesses. And because they recognize this, we are more likely to tolerate the skills gap.
Of course, awareness of our own incompetence is certainly better than blissful ignorance. However, awareness alone is not enough. The important thing is action and course correction, otherwise “I’m not good at this” becomes a choke point to never get better.
Armed incompetence is expensive. This is the cumulative cost. Invisible manager. Emotional energy that overcompensates for others. Hours spent fixing things that someone else could learn to do. So what can you actually do about it?
First, distinguish real skills gaps from strategic desperation. Not everyone who struggles makes plans. Some team members are untrained, some are overwhelmed, and some are out of their depth but don’t know how to ask for help. The difference is effort. Are they trying to improve, or are they using self-awareness as an excuse?
If there are no signs of effort, it is worth resetting the conversation. You might say, “I’ve noticed that you give it to me often because you say you’re not good at it. I’m happy to show you how to do it, but I can’t keep having it.”
This one sentence does several important things. It names the pattern without judgment and puts responsibility back where it belongs.
If you are managing the person, be clear about expectations. “Being bad at details” is not a personality trait. This is a talent gap. And most skill gaps can be improved through systems, training, or practice. Agree on what good enough looks like. Replace the railings. Review the progress. Hold them to this.
If you’re dealing with a peer, it’s more about boundaries. It often takes more energy to say no than to say yes and save them. It’s faster to do this yourself. But every time you rescue them, you reinforce the behavior. Instead, “Haven’t you tried it yet?” Reply. or “What did you try?” It slowly transfers the load back to them.
And if the weaponized incompetence comes from someone more senior, it’s trickier but not impossible. Ask for clarity on role responsibilities. “I see, is this something you want me to own on an ongoing basis, or is this just a one-time thing?” It forces a decision. It also makes the pattern visible without accusing anyone of laziness.
But the worst part of all this is that sometimes we are the problem. It’s easy to spot weaponized incompetence in others. It’s much harder to notice when we’re the ones doing it.
For years I joked about not paying attention to detail. And in doing so, I skillfully trained my team to compensate me. So if you’re like me and guilty of something similar, there are two helpful questions to consider: Am I aware of this gap and am I actively working on it?
Workplaces require both responsibility and ownership. We all have our strengths. We all have our struggles. The deal is we have both. So the next time someone says “that’s just the way I am,” resist the urge to fix the situation for them. Reset expectation. Awareness is the first step. Action is the second step.
By the way, you’ll be glad to know that I didn’t ask my team to proofread this article for me. I did it all alone.
Shelley Johnson is the founder of the HR agency thick edge and hosts the podcast this job.
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Shelley Johnson is the founder of HR agency Bolside and hosts the my millennial career podcast.
