My fitness coach husband constantly told me to use weights yet I ignored him. But after piling on the pounds in perimenopause, I finally decided to try. Now, aged 47, I’ve lost three stone in a year… and love showing off my super-toned arms!

My husband, Mat, my fitness coach, nagged me for years about weight training, promising that it would completely transform my body—my metabolism, my strength, my muscle tone, and even my bone health. I ignored him. To be honest, I found the weight section of the gym intimidating and full of curious men. Like many women, I was worried about growing up.

Then, two years ago, at perimenopause, as a 45-year-old mother of three, I found my weight slowly increasing by three stone until I was just under 13 stone and I was a size 16. I was active: I was running, doing boot camps with friends, and doing high-intensity interval training, but then I would finish a session starving and snack on sugary cereal and biscuits.

The turning point came in August 2024; Mat, 46; and our children Jessie, 18; Leo, 16; and 12-year-old Scarlett were on holiday in Portugal. We were playing ball with a stick on the beach and I couldn’t wait to sit down and hide in my sun lounger. I was so ashamed of my body that I felt really shy. When I look at the photos of that holiday, I am behind them all, hiding behind my children.

Shortly after, Mat and I went to the Maldives for our anniversary, just the two of us. It was our first holiday alone since our children were born. I went to the hotel gym with him every day and began to rely on the weight machines.

I liked that I was starting to feel strong, so when we got home I continued weight training and joined his coaching group. For the first time, I wasn’t just exercising, I was training with a plan and eating according to specific goals each day for protein, carbs, and fat.

The weight started to fly away. After a month I noticed a difference, and after two months other people noticed too. Just over a year later, I’m three stone down and a size eight to ten. I’m happy to grow my arms for the first time since I was 20.

I used to hide my body with hoodies and workout clothes, but now I can wear trendy, tight, sleeveless tops. I am very confident; This absolutely changed my life.

Here’s how I did it and how you can too…

Have a coach, not just a personal trainer

I used to have personal trainers but when you have a fitness trainer you see the real difference. You see your coach once a week, then it’s up to you; With a coach, they check in every day to see if you’re doing what you said you were going to do. This is a game changer. Luckily, I’m married to a fitness coach, and Mat created a custom weight training plan for me through an app called Everfit that his clients use, and it shows me what to do. I am also in a WhatsApp group with other clients and we support and encourage each other towards our goals.

I shaped my arms

I toned my arms by lifting as heavy weights as I could at the gym. I’ll start with a warm-up set and do three sets with the heaviest weight I can lift. If the last set is competitive, it makes a difference.

What do I eat every day?

I track my macros (macronutrients) (protein, carbs and fat) throughout the day. Mat sets specific goals and I log everything into MyFitnessPal, which syncs with his app, so he can see my progress.

The first few weeks were a big learning curve, but you’ll be amazed at how much food you can eat. My average day is protein yogurt with strawberries and banana for breakfast; lunch of two poached eggs on a bagel with half an avocado and tomato; followed by fish or steak and rice for dinner.

You can eat carbs, which was a huge mindset shift for me because I was afraid of them for years. If I have a protein deficiency, I use Bio-Synergy protein powder as a shake in the afternoon or by mixing it into my yoghurt for breakfast. ChatGPT is very helpful when you are trying to figure out what you can eat in a day. I can set my remaining macro goals for the day and ask what else I can eat to reach them and list these simple ideas. It eliminates the guesswork.

Cassie says she tones her arms by lifting as heavy weights as she can at the gym

Before Cassie starts her training and nutrition plan. During perimenopause, she noticed her weight slowly increasing until she weighed under 13 stone and reached a size 16.

Cassie after losing weight. On an average day, he says he has a breakfast of protein yogurt with berries and bananas; lunch of two poached eggs on a bagel with half an avocado and tomato; followed by fish or steak and rice for dinner

Be consistent

It is very important to be consistent with exercise. I do weight training four times a week. I also do an incline walk on the treadmill twice a week or take the dogs for a walk at a pace that still allows me to chat. I make sure to take at least 10,000 steps every day. I even bought a walking pad; A simpler and more compact treadmill that can fit under a desk.

Face your gym fears

For years I dreaded the weight section at the gym, but you soon realize no one cares about you. Plus, all the big, nosy guys out there are usually the most helpful! Now I love this; your body starts to change and get stronger and you feel so good you don’t want to stop.

You can still indulge

I still like to socialize and have a few drinks on the weekends. If I know I’m going out in the evening, I pay attention to what I have during the day. I’m not worried about quitting because I can keep it: I’ve got a girls’ holiday coming up and we’ll be laying around the pool eating chips and drinking cocktails. I’ll gain a few pounds, but when I get back and start going to the gym, the weight will come off.

Before Cassie started her training and right after. If it’s hard, think about where you might be in a year, he says.

Score three goals every day

My goals are to reach my daily macro goal, train and get my steps in. Do these every day and it will work. If it seems difficult, think about where you might be a year from now. In a few months you will see major changes not only in your body but also in your energy and mind. Go and lift it up; You will feel great.

Follow Mat Finn @flexfit.coaching and Cassie @harmony_beauty_bycas on Instagram

As told to Kerry Parnell