Widow faces impossible choice as bereavement payments end

A widow told how she was faced with an impossible choice after her husband’s death: either sell the family home or return to work and put her two sons into full-time childcare.

Lorraine Wallace, from Kirkcaldy, Fife, is campaigning for changes to better support bereaved families after bereavement support payments (BSP) end.

Her husband David was diagnosed with bowel cancer in January 2023 and died 21 months later, aged 44. He is survived by Lorraine, 42, and sons Adam, 10, and Joey, 8.

The UK government said the BSP provides short-term support, but other benefits are available if long-term income support is needed.

Since payments were stopped, Lorraine has been able to work part-time while supporting her sons but said this was no longer an option.

Speaking to BBC Scotland, Lorraine said: “My boys are already bereaved, so it’s natural for them to fear losing their other parent and now I won’t be there when they need me most.

“It’s just me now, so I’ll have to rely on childcare before and after school. They’ll see less of me, and I’ll see less of them.

“Grief is not linear; 18 months go by and everything is magically fine, which is what the support payment expects from you.”

BSP payments can be claimed by a spouse or partner following the death of a loved one and people can receive an initial payment of £3,500, followed by 18 monthly payments of £350 for a total of £6,300.

The support is not means tested, payments are not taxed and can be paid in addition to other benefits.

BSP payments have not increased since they were introduced in 2017.

Campaigners said they wanted the support to be extended until the youngest child turns 18.

‘The life we ​​built together was whipped under my feet’

Lorraine explained: “If I don’t go back to work we could lose our house, we wouldn’t be able to go on holiday and I’d have to tell the kids they can’t go to sports clubs anymore.

“They shouldn’t have to suffer any more than this.”

She fears the impact of being away from home will also affect her two sons, who are already struggling with their grief.

Lorraine added: “The thought of being away from my boys really worries me. Their emotional needs won’t go away.”

“They still need their mother; they are still little.

“They are still primary school children going through a terrible change in their family circumstances that has had a huge impact on their lives.

“Not only do I miss the only person in my life who I thought I would grow old with, the life we ​​built together is being whipped under my feet.”

Lorraine – with 100,000 signers Petition – Calls on the UK government to increase the payment and extend the maturity to over 18 months.

He said: “There are many people struggling financially and spiritually who would find themselves in my situation.

“David has paid his national insurance for 20 years, which is more than the full amount we were given.

“The hardest thing is that I wear so many hats.

“I try to be their grief counselor, their mother, their breadwinner, while also trying to deal with my own pain and support my children.”

Once the petition reaches 100,000 signatures it can be put up for debate in Westminster.

On Thursday, Lorraine will be part of the group traveling to London to deliver a copy of the book to Downing Street.

A DWP spokesman said: “The Bereavement Support Payment provides short-term financial support, with higher amounts paid to those with children.

“Further help with daily living costs can be provided through benefits such as Universal Credit, which provides targeted, means-tested support to those who need it most.”

If you are affected by any of the issues raised in this story, you can find support and advice at: BBC Action Line.