AFL legend dubs alleged home invaders ‘cockatoos’

AFL legend Mick Malthouse has described the alleged trespassers who stabbed him with a screwdriver as “cockatoos” as the trio were tasked with “depriving” him of his freedom.

The former Collingwood and West Coast premiership coach appeared in the Melbourne Magistrates’ Court on Monday to give evidence at a hearing into three men who allegedly tried to break into the East Melbourne unit.

The 72-year-old AFL/VFL games coaching record holder said he was falling asleep next to his wife Nanette on September 4, 2025, when he heard a unique “ping” sound outside his top floor unit.

Grabbing an exercise bar, he went outside to investigate the noise, but allegedly found three men screaming outside his door with a crowbar.

Andrew Carroll, Aysar Mashu and Joshua Di Cello were charged with attempted home invasion.

A “chaotic” scuffle took place on the small upper landing and Malthouse said he “snatched” one of the men twice with the rod and hit his arm with a crowbar, causing bruising.

The men then allegedly fled into the basement garage, where Malthouse gave chase, barefoot and in his pajamas.

However, they were stuck and struggling because they couldn’t open the garage roller or exit door.

“It was like herding cats. They were everywhere,” he told the court.

As Malthouse yelled at the men, one of them allegedly told him they were “in the wrong building” and “someone owes us money.”

“They were like a group of cockatoos. When one said it, the others said it too,” he said.

He ordered them to stand in a corner and away from the exit before opening the door for them to leave.

The trio “passed by” as he swung the exercise stick at them.

Malthouse described how the second man allegedly lunged and “stabbed” him in the sternum with a screwdriver, causing him to bleed.

“This will teach you a lesson, you bastard,” the man said, Malthouse said.

The third man allegedly held the crowbar in the air to attack the AFL legend, before grabbing him and “hitting” him on the side of the head with the exercise bar.

“I was conscious that if I didn’t do this the bar would fall on my head,” he said.

Defense lawyer John Desmond questioned Malthouse’s recollection of events, including pointing out inconsistencies in the evidence he gave in court and two signed statements he gave to police.

He also accused the three-time premiership coach of trapping the three accused home invaders by delaying opening the door.

“There was no other way to get past you from where they were. In those seconds, in those minutes, their freedom was taken away, Mr. Malthouse,” said Mr. Desmond.

“I agree that I held the door for as long as I could, knowing there was no way I could control his movements,” Malthouse said.

The defense attorney stated that he was rightfully angry at the time, and he acknowledged that.

“You decided to confront them and ask questions later, attack them and ask questions later. You felt you had the right to do that,” Mr Desmond said.

The trial will continue on Tuesday.

Malthouse played 174 VFL matches, including the 1980 premiership for St Kilda and Richmond, and masterminded three premierships (1992, 1994, 2010) before embarking on a record-breaking 718-game coaching career with the Western Bulldogs, West Coast, Collingwood and Carlton.