How Donald Trump could Make Britain Great Again

An ugly question arises with the turmoil of England: What if Donald Trump takes responsibility? Vince Hooper has an answer.

England again on strike, still and the Mayor of London is raining Sadiq Khan Only called “A bad person” Again. This naturally leads to a radical, not deeply opened and therefore perfectly reasonable idea: ya Donald J Trump Did he run England?

No, really. Worker, Tories, lib demat (briefly, accidentally) and even this lettuce opposite Liz Truss experiment. We have exhausted options. It is time to call Trump International Governity ™, the world’s most chaotic franchise operator.

And to sweeten the nonsense, Trump’s Sadiq Khan was asked about the latest excavation in British Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer He responded with the oral equivalent of a pledge cassette: “Actually, he’s a good friend.” Beautiful British. Deep internal depressing. Probably the justification for partitioning.

But let’s play this.

1. Rule Britannia, Trump style

Monarchy? Re -branded. King Charles When a three -month performance review and a branded golf car for Balmoral are given, it becomes “CEO Charlie .. Corgis Maga wears collar. Camilla Shampoo ads. Buckingham Palace becomes “Royal Grille ™ and Wellness Experience, which offers SPA treatments bearing the name of the steaks imported from Mar-a-lago.

The annual Christmas speech was replaced by a Trump address, which was taken next to Big Ben and insisted. “A really big rolex”. Melania Shakes his head in the background, flashes the Mors code.

2. Parliament, but make vegas

Forget gray suits and procedural Crudying. Trump’s UK Parliament, a glittering, gold -leaf TrumpHitheatre with smoke machines and a lively mass. Questions to PM has become a game show: Who wants to be a billionaire backbencher?

The speaker of the house is replaced by a rotating panel of shock athletes. Nigel Farage The interior takes the task of a bars and a cabinet for smoking. Boris Johnson Naturally, Gobbledygook returns as Minister of Foreign Crime.

Lord Rees-Mogg In Northern Somerset, the official time travels responsible for the continuation of a permanent 1857 ambiance in Northern Somerset.

3. Brexit 2.0: Calculation

Trump announced Brexit: IMAX Restarting. New Slogan: ‘It will be too big!’ The British channel is building a wall to “keep the bad opportunities of the EU away”, paying with EU funds (theory) and militarizes Greggs To protect British pastries from foreign influence.

Scotland is immediately divided into “Trump Caledonia: The Luxury Nation ™ ve and again brands. Nicola Sturgeon Only he returns to reject Trump’s visa.

4. NHS: Casino Options Now Now

TrumpCare UK ™ has been released. Apart from everyone who gets sick, health services continue to be “free .. All GP waiting rooms now have slot machines, FOX News Repeat and Holographic Ivanka Distributing vitamin tips.

Recipes are re -branded:

• Paracetradon ™ – “Very big for headache”
• Ibuproofin ™ – “A very strong pill, the most powerful”
• Antibiobigly ™ – “Heals everything, maybe”

5. Transport, Trains and Total Sanryal

The tube becomes Trumpline ™. Delays are renamed as “strategic re -positioning .. All stations are renamed after Trump offing: 8:12, if it comes, catch the Barron-Up-Thams.

HS2 is scrapped and replaced with a golden monoraray like Trump’s head. Ferries for Ireland without interruption Apprentice: Atlantic Edition.

6. International diplomacy: such as Eurovision, but nuclear

Under Prime Minister Trump, England occupies France because Macron Once upon a time, he frowned in a Trump Tower offer. Instead of NATO, Great-O: A security alliance between England, Florida, Elon Musk And which Eastern Europe oligark is a trend that week.

The G7 summits are now organized in Butlins. Disputes were solved through mini golf and Piña Coladas. Australia’s prime minister is invited to all events. “Snake beautiful man”.

7. By the way, in Canberra…

Australia, naturally, follows all of them, praying does not have to explain it to New Zealand.

Nevertheless, under the resonance of a British idea led by Trump. After all, who did not wonder if establishing a crazy billionaire, a past real show, could improve hospital waiting times?

In addition, Trump’s discretion for strong borders and weak climatic policy can fully comply with. “We love coal. We love the walls. We love me,” The shirt would say Uluru.

Conclusion: Disaster or Target TV?

Is Trump a good idea to rule England? Absolutely no. But is the current government better than gray -faced technocrats who act as if they have legs? Probably. And at least it would be fun – like a Shakespeare Farce built in a fluffy castle during a storm.

So remove a flat warm lager to the impossible. Trump can never rule England, but in 2025, only suggestion feels less crazy than giving another job to Jacob Rees-Mogg.

And to be honest, Sir Keir is now looking for Sadiq Khan “A good friend”We can be there anyway.

God save the queen. Or king. Or casino manager.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9zenchwz9i

Vince Hooper is a proud Australian/British citizen and professor of finance and discipline at the SP Jain Global Management School with campuses in London, Dubai, Mumbai, Singapore and Sydney.

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