‘Where is our humanity?’ Readers share agony of loved ones’ deaths without assisted dying

TDebate over assisted dying in Scotland sparks deeply personal response Independent Many readers shared touching stories of watching their loved ones endure prolonged, painful deaths.

The debate follows the defeat of the Assisted Dying for Terminally Ill Adults (Scotland) Bill at Holyrood, where MSPs voted 69 to 57 against the legislation.

Readers described harrowing experiences of family members suffering from terminal illnesses, Alzheimer’s and cancer. Many described the despair of witnessing their relatives lose their dignity and endure months of suffering, underlining the emotional toll on both patients and their families.

Others have pointed out the moral inconsistency of granting animals the right to a humane death but not offering the same option to terminally ill people. There are some common experiences from countries such as the Netherlands and Australia, where legal safeguards for assisted dying to take place safely and peacefully offer a degree of control and closure to both patients and families.

While readers acknowledged the need for safeguards, they also criticized faith-based opposition that restricted personal autonomy. Many insisted that the law should enable individuals to make profound choices about their own lives while protecting the vulnerable; This reflected a heartfelt call for empathy in law.

Here’s what you need to say:

Assisted death can be peaceful and brave

My twin brother Adrian decided to end his life with assisted death in Australia.

In 2024, he sent me an email: “My myelofibrosis is turning into acute myeloid leukemia with its own consequences. I am currently in intensive care with bad pneumonia. I have decided to turn off the machines with the help of morphine. My family agrees with me and will be with me.”

He needed a medical report from two doctors saying he had less than six months to live, and his email said he wanted to leave with a party.

I had FaceTimed him less than an hour before his dose was increased. He was surrounded by his bespectacled wife, children and grandchildren.

His son told me later that he laughed and joked until he fell asleep.

I think it takes great courage to make such an important decision.

The fears of repression voiced by opponents of assisted dying do not arise anywhere in the world where assisted dying is now permitted.

RobGood

How does euthanasia work in the Netherlands?

In the Netherlands, as in the United Kingdom, those who oppose euthanasia in principle have exploited so-called “technical and practical problems” to block sensible legislation.

The fact that they use arguments other than “I don’t want it to be legalized in any way” also proves their insincerity. I don’t mind when people oppose euthanasia for themselves because of their beliefs. If that’s what I want, I’m going against people who oppose me choosing euthanasia because of their beliefs.

In the Netherlands, those who still oppose our euthanasia legislation are fundamentalists. Others worry about when euthanasia should and should not be allowed, but no one wants it to remain illegal in all cases, except for those who oppose it in principle.

My parents watched my brother die of liver cancer at the age of 37. They also saw my aunt die of addiction-related liver failure ten years ago. Dying from liver failure is excruciatingly painful, beyond the capabilities of any painkiller. They did not want this fate.

My father died of lung cancer in the days before legal euthanasia. His doctor prescribed him very high doses of cortisone; this was irresponsibly high for anyone with a perspective on treatment; However, my father did not have such an idea until then. He died peacefully and without pain.

My mother had a fully completed euthanasia declaration that denied any life-prolonging action and even resuscitation, which my brother and I witnessed. He eventually underwent both surgery and radiotherapy for bowel cancer and had his heart valve replaced. He died of heart failure when other valves began leaking and he was too weak to undergo surgery. He never used the violent euthanasia statement, but he kept it handy in case he wanted to resort to it or if we had to do it for him. We never did, but we were happy to take legal last resort if necessary. This is how euthanasia works in the Netherlands; It’s not like the organized mass murder that evil “survivalists” would have you believe.

Restarted againHans2

Planning end of life for loved ones

Maybe I shouldn’t say this here, but my health is slowly deteriorating. Years ago, I decided that if or when ‘I’ decided my pain was too great, I would end it; This I also made my family and friends aware of.

The surprising thing was to find a way that wouldn’t make them suffer. It took me years to not only find a method, but to ensure that someone I cared about didn’t end up with a moldy body. I understand now. However, I would have appreciated some humanity and being able to say a proper goodbye to my loved ones, rather than not telling them and ‘doing it alone’ and arranging for someone else to find me.

Meanwhile. It took me a few years to work up the courage to talk to my neighbor and tell her that I was relieved when her husband died of cancer, that her suffering, and indeed his, was over. I’m glad he wasn’t offended and understood what I meant.

I believe that if someone had to watch someone ‘scream’ their life away for weeks, months or even years, their views would change drastically.

TomSnout

Where is our humanity?

It makes me want to cry. With the amendment made to the bill, it was stated that two doctors must certify that the person has a terminal illness that is expected to kill him within six months and that he has the mental capacity to make this request.

Can someone who disagrees explain what harm it would do to save a person six months of pain and suffering?

I agree that there should be protective measures, but I actually don’t think that or the laws where I live go far enough. I believe that a living will stating a wish to die under certain circumstances should be sufficient to override the ‘mental capacity’ clause.

I saw my grandmother die slowly and miserably from Alzheimer’s. I saw my mother suffer, too, who knew no one, bore much of the burden of visits to see a broken old woman, was always angry, and had her dignity stripped away. (I was in college, my sister had two young children, and my uncle opted out, claiming he couldn’t stand seeing her like that). What good was it for him, or anyone else, to sit in that chair, twice incontinent, drugged with violent tendencies, and deranged?

Where is our humanity?

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tainting a medical discussion with theological lies

It shows that there is a deeply reactionary undercurrent in Scotland: the Wee Free Church etc. are tainting a medical debate with theological lies about suicide being a sin.

I saw palliative care firsthand with a close family member: It feels like you’re prolonging people’s suffering. Assisted dying would be a blessing.

Supreme Mowf

Some of the comments in this article have been edited for brevity and clarity.

Marie Curie offers support to those dying from a terminal illness and bereavement services to those caring for someone with a terminal illness. Phone: 0800 090 2309 email: support@mariecurie.org.uk or visit: www.mariecurie.org.uk.

If you are experiencing feelings of distress or finding it difficult to cope, you can speak to Samaritans confidentially on 116 123 (UK and ROI), email jo@samaritans.org or visit . Samaritans Website to find details of your nearest branch.

If you are a US resident and you or someone you know needs mental health help right now, call or text 988 or visit: 988lifeline.org To access online chat on the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. This is a free, confidential crisis helpline available to anyone 24 hours a day, seven days a week. If you are in another country you can go www.befrienders.org To find a helpline near you.

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