Billy Crystal recalls being slapped twice by comedy legend Milton Berle

Billy Crystal got slapped twice by a comedy legend.

The “City Slickers” actor told Stephen Colbert: “Pre-Broadcast Colbert” He said he had two meetings with the “Milton Berle Show” star this week, and both ended with him being slapped.

“I might be the last person who knows the Milton Berle stories,” Crystal mused in front of the audience before revealing that she once appeared on Steve Allen’s show during a panel that also included Carl Reiner and Milton Berle.

“I sat between the two of them, these two booksellers, these television giants,” he said.

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Crystal said that 20 minutes into the taping, the crew said the cameras weren’t recording properly and they couldn’t pick up their conversation, so they planned to pause the show, fix it and start over.

“Milton Berle turns to me and says, ‘Looks like I’m in.’ ‘OK.’ Then he said, ‘Give me a microphone, give me a microphone!’ he says. Now he gets out in front of the audience and spends a lot of time, and it’s a very funny but weird thing,” Crystal said.

He continued, “He does this, he walks on his ankles, he does everything, he finishes, he comes back. We give him a standing ovation, he looks at me and slaps me in the face.”

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“For laughs,” Colbert interjected.

Milton Berle and Billy Crystal are seen together in Beverly Hills in 1995. (Ron Galella/Ron Galella Collection/Getty Images)

“Yes,” Crystal replied, adding that Berle had told her: “‘Did you realize, everything I do is right under my nose? Everything Milton does is right under my nose.’ ‘You think you’re so cool,’ he said. You come to my house. We’ll smoke some dope and I’ll throw you to the ground. I said, ‘Okay, I’d love to see that happen.’ He says: ‘I’m doing an imitation of Jerry Lewis, who directed a movie that will intrigue you. “I said, ‘I haven’t made plans in a while, so I’m looking forward to it.'”

About two weeks later, Crystal said she sat down with comedian Alan King at the original Spago restaurant in Los Angeles.

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“Who walks in but Milton Berle and his wife Ruth, and they’re sitting behind us, Milton is looking at me, Alan King is looking at me, so Alan can’t see Milton,” he explained.

Crystal said that she and King began discussing a script for a movie they were working on together, adding that “Milton would look up from time to time and look at her,” with a funny grimace.

“Then there was a cigar under the upper lip,” he added. “This took forever and I’m dying, right? Milton finishes early and comes to the table.”

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Milton Berle is seen performing with Ethel Merman in 1950. (Getty Images)

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Crystal then had Colbert play him while portraying Berle doing the impression of Jerry Lewis directing a movie.

As Berle played Jerry Lewis, Crystal said, “You’re the actor and I’m Jerry, now I’ll direct.” “Now listen, your wife left you, you’re lonely, you drink too much. Life is meaningless.”

He continued, “You’re in a hotel by yourself, aren’t you? You need to reach inside yourself, Bill. You open the window, you look up 12 floors and you say to yourself (in Jerry Lewis’ voice): ‘Things aren’t going that well!’ you say.”

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Crystal said that after Berle’s segment ended, the comedian stood up and slapped him in the face again. “He threw me to the ground,” he said with a shrug.

Berle had also kissed Crystal on the lips during a televised 90th birthday celebration in 1998 while the two were doing something, joking that Crystal was a “terrible straight man.”

Milton Berle is seen with Bob Hope in the 1985 “Bob Hope Buys NBC” special. (Getty Images)

He then gave the “When Harry Met Sally” star a kiss and added, “Billy, if I ever change, you’ll be the first.”

Berle, sometimes referred to as “Mr. Television” because he was the small screen’s first big star, responded to Crystal saying, “You caused more televisions to be sold. My father sold his. My uncle sold his.” After making his joke, he slapped Crystal again.

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“That’s a funny line,” Berle admitted. “I wish I had said that.”

Crystal replied, “Don’t worry, that’s what you’ll do,” referring to Berle’s acknowledged reputation as a joke thief.