Book Review | Good Sense and Sensuality
Here is a New Age book that will help you get in touch with your sensual self, guiding you to the art of living beautifully, loving, and lusting. of Vatsyayana Kama Sutra He did this centuries ago with great skill and detail, balancing courtship, social courtesy, and the purposes of life (dharma, artha, and kama). But times were different then – today’s fast-living world, where everything is actually fast and not like humans with the attention span of a mayfly (who, ironically, spends his entire adult life mating)! And so there’s a significant market for a book like this, which is less a guide and more of a fragrant reflection on the changing face of romance, intimacy, and relationships today. He wisely advises the reader not to compromise lust on the altar of ‘common sense’ and makes a valid point that the two need not be opposites. As with all good things in life, it’s all about knowing when, where and how much! The author says: “There is no such thing as ‘too much sex’. There is no quota for pleasure.”
The distinguishing feature of this book is that the ideas here are presented with lots of anecdotes when looking at the author’s long and eventful life and relationships. And the narrative style is essentially stream of consciousness. Thinking about the sari, for example, leads to specific memories and comments about the garment’s versatility in combining beauty, usefulness and sensuality – both in the drape and the unveiling, with an emphasis on the latter – “Lovers are voyeurs… they feast with their eyes… undressing is a fine art… dressing is easy”. And of course, lust and intimacy have no age limit; It’s all in the mind and emotions, in valuing partnerships and thoughts of the partner, in keeping moods, memories and tenderness alive.
The author’s eclectic travel and taste meander through these. Kalidasa, Maria Callas, Puccini, Raag Yaman Kalyan, Bhairavi, Lavani, Mujra, Mick Jagger – these are the skeins that weave a tapestry that connects Eastern and Western cultures, the ghats of Banaras, the sophisticated mansions of Mumbai. First of all, it is the awareness of impermanence that is embodied in the Japanese sakura, in the blooming cherry tree, where each flower indicates the temporary nature of life and love (without disease). Temporality and death are actually the mother of beauty, as the American poet Walter Stevens once recognized and expressed. “Mr. Say” is the compass that anchors this memory; its arm moves in ever-expanding circles, recalling Donne’s haunting comparison of lovers and friends around which the book revolves. But how can you miss the excellent Shobhaa who adds spice to the book, admonishing readers not to settle for “boring”? dal chawal sex when life can deliver spicy, finger-licking chicken chili fries.”
In the never-ending striving to achieve, to perform, to achieve perfection, the book tells us to slow down. It shows us that there is virtue in kindness, that one can love without shame or apology, that growing old is not a crime or punishment, and that simply being yourself is the greatest achievement.
The reviewer, a translator and former professor, is a member of the Indian Institute of Advanced Study, Shimla.
Emotional Self
By Shobhaa De
Aleph
p. 215; 599 rupees
