Clown Desmond Howard takes a disgusting shot at Jeremiah Smith, buy Melania’s swimsuit & Butler Blue V debuts

Welcome to Screencaps, “America’s Best Daily Column,” as named by the readers. Screencaps, which publishes seven-days-a-week, is a mix of sports, pop culture, and emails from sane readers from around the world. This column isn’t for the coastal elites. Give us a week to steal your heart. Our track record is pretty good. Let’s have some fun.

Desmond Howard is a typical loser Michigan Man

Never forget how this loser acted towards CJ Stroud during the 2021 Heisman ceremony. Never forget the completely one-sided analysis that he provides when it comes to anything related to Ohio State. And now you should never forget that this is how this loser talks about Jeremiah Smith.

“When in the last two seasons has Jeremiah Smith been the difference in big games?” this loser asked during a Friday hit on ESPN.

OHIO STATE’S JEREMIAH SMITH IS NOW THE HEISMAN FAVORITE FOLLOWING HISTORIC PERFORMANCE

What’s this all about? Heisman voting and trolling Ohio State fans when Michigan is headed for a historically terrible season. Desmond doesn’t want Smith anywhere near the Heisman Trophy. It’s all he has to live for this college football season.

Smith only went for eight catches, 164 yards and a touchdown against Texas earlier this year. In October, on the road at then No. 14 Iowa, he only went for 11 catches, 206 yards and two touchdowns.

He had the go-ahead touchdown last year at Michigan to bury those losers. He had eight catches for 144 yards against Indiana in the B1G championship game. He had seven catches, 157 and a touchdown against Miami in the playoffs.

During the 2021 Heisman ceremony, which should have been one of Stroud’s proudest moments, Howard made sure to make the Ohio State quarterback the butt of his joke while Desmond was glazing Michigan Man Aidan Hutchinson.

“Better than his offensive linemen,” Howard said after Tim Tebow commented about Kenny Pickett keeping the peace between Stroud and Hutchinson on the Heisman stage.

Since dirtbag Jim Harbaugh and his assistants were run out of town by the NCAA and the judicial system, Michigan is 22-13.

This is a good time to remind you guys what Desmond had to say after AD Warde Manuel hired Kyle Whittingham. “If you had asked me prior to this to name my favorite head coaches in the sport, his name would’ve been one of the very first I mentioned. He’s exactly what Michigan needs right now. Coach Whittingham commands immense admiration across college football, from the media to fellow coaches, and anytime his name comes up among my peers, the sentiment is unanimous: respect. He’s your favorite coach’s favorite coach, and that says everything,” the loser said nearly a year ago.

Now here we are.

Enjoy it, Des.

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STAR GOLFER HAS A NEW APPRECIATION FOR SI SWIMSUIT MODELS AFTER RECENT SHOOT, HERBERT AUCTION & HERBIE’S DOG

You know who’s fair and balanced unlike this loser Desmond Howard? I am. Kirk Herbstreit should be banned from bringing his dog into steakhouses

Who ripped Kirk Herbstreit for feeding his dog steak on a plate inside a fancy NYC steakhouse this week? I did. Yes, I’m an Ohio State guy. And I’m fair and balanced. I could have just ignored Herbstreit’s antics because we’re both Ohio State guys. I could’ve just gone about my Friday and left work early and let the steak thing fade into the history of the Internet.

Instead, I went after Kirk. Then, dog lovers went after me.

KIRK HERBSTREIT SERVING STEAK TO HIS DOG AT AN NYC RESTAURANT HAS CRAIG CARTON FUMING MAD

• Sharon is furious with me: A dogs mouth is cleaner then a humans mouth! Do your research. I don’t trust everyone to bring their dog to a restaurant, but in Fredericksburg, VA there are several restaurants that not only allow, but encourage you to bring your dogs. Yes, it is only for outdoor sidewalk or garden dining! I have been to many with my dog and seen many others and never observed or heard of an incident! I cannot say the same for restaurants allowing only people and walking away sick or dying!!! People carry so many diseases and you are not talking about that. How about some investigative analysis??

• Susan defends this disgusting behavior from Herbstreit: Just got finished feeding my golden retrievers part of my lunch steak—love them, so what’s it to you?  Mind your own business.

• Robert takes his shot: You’re a chump and an a hole. Dogs are a 1000 times better than humans and deserve whatever their human can afford to give them. Concentrate on real stories.

• Michael D. emailed: What are you so mad about?? Can’t afford that place yourself? Get a grip …… if you don’t like it, tough pal! The world’s not fair, is it!! I’d guess more people love him and his dog than listen or like you…. Next time you want your name out there, take a page from the playbook……. I’m sure you can bark😎

• Chris P. tells me off: There must be more important things for you to worry about. Really…

• Matt in South Florida tells us what can happen when you let these idiots bring dogs into restaurants: I used to be nuetral on dogs in general.  My close family members have them, friends have them, etc.   But I find many dog owners to be the most inconsiderate narcissists people around.  Dogs should not be eating in restaurants- period.  Based on the article, It is a health code violation and like Poppie not washing his hands (Seinfeld reference) I would happily report it if I was present.

My neutrality on dogs in restaurants ended many years ago while eating breakfast outdoors in Coconut Grove in Miami, Florida. Tight table arrangement and mid to large dog at table next to ours literally put his head on my wife’s plate and took a bite out of her breakfast. The dog owner thought it was hilarious and as the typical jerk of a dog owner will do stated “he’s just being friendly, he won’t hurt anyone”. I wasn’t worried about the dog being friendly. And it will likely be me hurting someone.

My wife was disgusted and didn’t eat another bite. The dog owner didn’t apologize, didn’t offer to pay for my wife’s breakfast, just assumed she’d be ok with it keep eating and we were all good. My back was to their table (a couple in their thirties, as we were) and I asked my wife if she minded if i “handled” it “aggressively” – she said she wanted to leave. Not wanting to embarrass her, my verbal and possibly physical interaction didn’t occur.

The restaurant wasn’t helpful either when we told them about it. We never returned after dining here many times (our office was in the Grove and our house 3 miles away). But I blame the dog owners. And I find behavior like this – and Herbstreit – indicative of the narcissism of a large portion of dog owners.

Multiple thoughts from a Florida Man who tries his best to show respect for Midwesterners

• Rob M. in Florida responds: Carrier- We in Florida greatly appreciate the invention of AC, I assure you we do, but we also appreciate the following.

Percy Spencer- The guy that invented the microwave

Benjamin Waddy Maughan- The guy that invented the hot water heater

Tim Berners-Lee- The guy that published the formal proposal for what becomes the World Wide Web ( nod to Eric Florack for digging that up), the thing that makes this great column possible.

So yea, once again, we appreciate the AC, let’s move on.

Be Nice to Midwesterners- I won’t go into a long diatribe about politics, but politics is downstream of culture, and this column is about culture, so sometimes those streams cross. As a guy who married a girl from Wisconsin, I truly appreciate our northern neighbors by the lakes. I love the Midwest in the summer and have swam in four of the five Great lakes. The only one I haven’t been in is Lake Erie, because, well, it’s Lake Erie. So I try to be as nice as I can with the good people that occupy those states, but it comes with a caveat. Please understand that since the Covid debacle, our state has been over run with transplants that were escaping the lock down hell holes of blue states. We watched as our roads got crowded, our open spaces disappeared and gated McMansion communities popped up where pastures and beautiful trees once stood. Our bigger cities started to vote blue, but our rural areas held the line and propelled Ron Desantis to a 20 point victory in his last election.

We’ve been fighting that battle the last 6 years, Don’t New York my Forida is the popular mantra, and so far we’ve been winning. But this election saw a lot of things change, for worse in my opinion. We saw Texas fall, Texas, say it again, we lost Texas. The Lone Star state finally fell to the influx of Tech people and California transplants, we in Florida watched in horror as Election night went on and Texas went blue. The sprawling cities of Houston, Austin and Dallas finally overpowered the rural areas that made Texas what it is, the Alamo was lost again.

The Governor race in our state was WAY to close, in a state that was won by twenty points the last election, this was decided by less than two points. All of this to say, we appreciate the people that move here and come to visit, the money tourists bring in helps keep us from having State Income taxes and a bill was passed to lower our property taxes over the next two years. This is why we are wary of newcomers, we do not want whatever infected Texas to make its way here, although I fear it already has. We in Florida are going to fight the good fight to keep the Free State of Florida free, we do not want to suffer the same fate as Texas, if a few of you get offended along the way, so be it.

Donovan E- My goodness, I thought I had anger issues, God bless you Joe for that kind of garbage coming in. One thing I’ve noticed, whenever someone uses that much profanity, they are trying to compensate for having little to no vocabulary. Imagine being so intellectually unimpressive that every third word you spew has to be redacted with asterisks ( Donovan, that’s the little star thingy on your keyboard…..)

Kinsey: I had to edit Donovan’s words. Our content system won’t allow such words to be published.

How much would you pay for Melania Trump’s swimsuit from 2000?

The starting bid is $5,000 for this swimsuit that Melania wore during a British GQ photo shoot. Seems high, but as the owner of Cam Newton’s AUTOGRAPHED (yes, I met Cam back in the day at a Gatorade event and he signed them) BCS game pants, I’m always hoping for memorabilia like this to skyrocket in value.

https://entertainment.ha.com/itm/a/7478-38677.s

Screencaps Jr. had me up at 4:55 a.m. this morning because he’s entering the world of half-marathons

His decision, folks. Do you really think I want to be out in the cold this morning after sitting here all cozy posting emails of people yelling at me? But, Jr. said he wanted to do this run, so he’s doing it on the coldest day of the fall/winter.

• Double J in Perrysburg emails: A long time Pburg person and first time emailer.

I haven’t run into you yet in Pburg but I will be working the Churchills half at mile 5.5 (leaving the Sanctuary onto River Rd). It is a great race, just tell SC2 not to start out too hot, stay a little slower than his planned pace until he crosses the Waterville bridge, then he can pick it up if he feels ok. The hills at the end are challenging.

THE CRAIG CARTON SHOW–UNFILTERED, UNAPOLOGETIC AND UNMISSABLE. DOWNLOAD HIS DAILY PODCAST NOW!

Hopefully he has done at least an eight mile long run prior?

I hope he enjoys running, I started as a requirement for basketball season if not playing football. Then, I took a 37 yr hiatus from distance running and now have my 8th marathon scheduled for next Sunday in Philly (why I am not running Churchills).

Kinsey: First of all, I love hearing from the Perrysburg readers in this perfect little town who somehow came across my work. Welcome, Double J. Screencaps Jr. has done recent training runs of 10 miles. In his last one, he was averaging 7:41 miles, but that was on flat ground. Today could be a very big lesson on Do Hard Things because it’s going to be a very big mental test. He’s going to face rolling hills unlike any that he’s run over such a distance. I will be at the Waterville bridge to see how things are going. His grandparents will be just down the road from Double J. He’ll have supporters along the way. Now it’s a matter of determination.

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Now, I have to get to the course.

You guys have a great weekend. Let’s go enjoy the games, the man caves, the half-marathons and live a little bit.

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