Democratic Party’s ‘Five Families’ battle for control and influence

The Democratic Party is a very old and venerable institution, and so it has a lot of rules, a lot of buffers, and yes, they have this thing, their center of power. You can even call them family.

These families are not at war with each other, so to speak, at least not usually, but they have their own interests and priorities, and conflicts sometimes arise. To truly understand the Party and where it is going, you must understand the Five Families that run it.

So let’s take a look one by one. Which teams are on the rise? Which ones are in chaos? So what will this mean for the party that is trying to take over Congress and the White House and put every institution in the country in its back pocket?

San Francisco Boss: Nancy Pelosi. Capos: Kamala Harris, Gavin Newsom

Over the past few years, Nancy ‘The Gavel’ Pelosi has positioned the once-stagnant San Francisco family as the most powerful of the five. Not only did Pelosi thwart the second-term ambitions of the party’s former boss, Joey ‘Naps’ Biden, but she also chose Frisco’s own Kamala ‘Cackles’ Harris to replace him.

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Former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has turned the California wing of the Democratic Party into a powerhouse. (Photo: Kevin Dietsch/Getty Images)

Old Lady Pelosi may no longer be speaker of the House of Representatives, but who do we see leading the party in today’s presidential primaries? It’s none other than Gavin “Peacock” Newsom, another San Francisco treat and a testament to the great strength of his family. While the family has traditionally been the party’s most left-leaning family, that title faces a challenge from the northern family.

Minneapolis Boss: Tim WalzTalents: Ilhan Omar, Jacon Frey, Keith Ellison

The Minneapolis family, led by Tim ‘Whitey’ Walz – extremely well-off, as we learn every day – is a family that has left San Francisco’s legendary leftism behind. İlhan “Mother-in-Law” Ömer is the best example of this. His political vision is one of reparations; so money goes, through legislation or sometimes, you know, just through corruption, from native-born Americans to immigrant groups like Minnesota’s unassimilatable Somali community.

Rep. Ilhan Omar immediately congratulated Governor Walz on his VP pick

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The key to the workings of the Minneapolis family is Mayor Jacob ‘The Kneeler’ Frey; even though he was almost defeated in the last election by one of the Somali politicians he constantly panders to. Frey’s main job is to exemplify to white Minnesotans, and Americans in general, why their culture must be abandoned and replaced with the blessings of third-world corruption. This family is small for now, but very dangerous.

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New York Boss: Chuck Schumer? Capos: Alexandria Ocasio Cortez, Zorhan Mamdani, Hakeem Jeffries

There is no family in Washington with more history or more current political power than New York, yet it finds itself embroiled in chaos. Even though Chuckie ‘5-term’ Schumer is in charge of the Senate Democrats and Hakeem ‘The Scheme’ Jeffries is leading the party in the House of Representatives, it is the young Capos who has that power.

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, D-Y., and Senate Majority Leader Sen. Chuck Schumer, DN.Y., speaks on Capitol Hill on August 3, 2025. (Kent Nishimura/Los Angeles Times via Getty Images)

Alexandria ‘The Face’ Ocasio-Cortez has assembled a socialist team headed by recently elected Mayor Zohran ‘Smiley’ Mamdani that is sweeping elections left and right even as Schumer and Jeffries try to protect protégés like Dan ‘Rich Boy’ Goldman from primary defeats. One of the major points of tension is Israel, which always makes money for its partners but rubs the up-and-comers down the wrong path.

Chicago Boss: Barack Obama Capos: JB Pritzker, Rahm Emanuel

In normal times, Barack ‘Barry’ Obama would be the national boss of former two-time president bosses, but his grip on the party appears to be weakening these days. This is largely because ‘Barry’s’ Chicago-style party traditionally masks its far-left ambitions with a moderate face. That’s exactly what Rahm ‘The Suit’ Emanuel is trying to be. The problem is that party voters no longer want a socialist disguised as a banker, they just want a socialist.

Illinois Governor JB Pritzker had previously targeted President Donald Trump on social media. (Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images)

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This is exactly why we see JB ‘Double Cheeseburger’ Pritzker stepping into national fame as a pebble in President Donald Trump’s shoe whenever and wherever possible.

South Carolina Boss: James Clyburn

Despite shifting winds in the party across the country, the South Carolina family, along with their long-serving boss Jim ‘The Kingmaker’ Clyburn, are still playing by the old-school rules and looking for ways to expand their power.

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Kingmaker wants the Palmetto State primary to be the party’s first in the nation to surpass Iowa and New Hampshire, perhaps giving his family, currently the most moderate of the five, a greater say in the next election. capo dei capi to run for the White House on the party ticket.

House Majority Whip James Clyburn, a Democrat from South Carolina and chairman of the House Select Subcommittee on the Coronavirus Crisis, during a hearing on Thursday, June 23, 2022 in Washington, DC, USA. The committee this week released a report on the impact of a potential herd immunity strategy on the Trump Administration’s pandemic response policies. Photographer: Ting Shen/Bloomberg via Getty Images (Ting Shen/Bloomberg via Getty Images)

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Clyburn has checked socialist Bernie ‘The Mittens’ Sanders’ presidential ambitions several times, but can he stop the new generation of Sandernistas? As they say, only time will tell.

For the next two years, the Five Families will go to the mat to maintain their share of the national party. But only one person can produce a presidential candidate who has the chance to make American voters an offer they can’t refuse.