Don’t ask ‘How are you?’ How successful people get others to like them: Psychology expert
The worst thing you can ask at the beginning of any interaction: “How are you?”
Essentially, you say that interaction will be like all other interaction. Probably “my day was busy. Good but busy.” It creates a boring and social scenario.
I have spent the last 17 years examining human behavior and connections between foreigners. I have learned that trust can burn or die immediately due to small signals in the first seconds of an interaction.
What should you do if you really want to gain confidence instantly.
1. Jump the boring scenarios
“What is it?” Don’t ask what everyone asks like. or “Have you been busy lately?” Try a comfortable question, but search for excitement. This prepares you for a better interaction.
A few examples:
- Don’t ask: “How’s going?” Instead, “What is the most important feature of your week so far?”
- Don’t ask: “Are you busy?” Instead, “Is there a big gain lately?”
- Don’t ask: “Have you been working on something lately?” Instead, the problem: “Are you working on something exciting these days?”
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2. Call the joy in their lives
If you want to create confidence with everyone, encourage them to tell them stories about their lives. It is known for asking others what they expect the most.
Here is my trick:
- “Did you do something fun last weekend last weekend?”
- On Thursday and Friday, “This is something fun next weekend?”
- “I’m working on something fun or exciting this week?” I ask.
- Before any holiday or break, “I’m waiting for something fun for holidays?” I ask.
Everyone in my team and in my life knows that I will ask for entertainment or exciting plans, so they save them to tell everything about them (or they avoid me when life is boring). This is a win-win!
3. Someone ‘How are you?’ How to answer when he asks?
When it comes to creating trust, how do you answer not only the questions you ask, but also when someone tries to connect with you.
The biggest mistake that people see what I have done is that they immediately lead to negativity when they start talking: “This is the terrible atmosphere!” or “My program was crazy!” Instead, save something interesting to lead and be ready when someone asks you a boring question.
Next time, someone said, “How are you?” Instead, try to respond with a little humor or eagerly. You can try an answer like this:
- “As good as I remember Floss. So, a win.”
- “Caffeine and running in a dream.”
- “Today I have a new follower on Instagram 10 of 10 of 10.”
- “Hanging there like a cat in the motivation poster.”
Essentially, anything except the standard “busy but good” will awaken people.
4. Your body language is as important as your words
Words are important, but your body speaks loudly. Keep the arms cross and face the square to look open. An open stance invites recipes; Something closed doubt.
A solid handshake – one to three pumps, solid but easy – he says you are sure of yourself and even Pine your personality traits.
In the video call, bend a little to close the gap. If they shake your head, try to shake your head. Matching or reflecting body signals says that you are safe to their brains.
5. Practice in your daily life
Test these tips in safe, low -pressure places such as chatting with a cashier, a neighbor or a friend on coffee.
I do it myself before the big talks – at dinner, my family, the next foreigners, the drivers of the Uber during trips, you put the name of it – and how I encountered, makes the movements feel the second nature.
The key is to start small and be consistent.
Try the question about the body language that is positive for lunch or reflection on a walk. Over time, you will notice that people have opened faster even faster, even in short encounters, smiling and participating deeper.
Vanessa van Edwards A speaker, researcher and writer “Captivate: The science of success with people” And “Tips: The secret language of charismatic communication. “He’s founder The science of peopleHe manages workshops and courses on science -based soft skills to help people become better communicators.
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