He Makes $90K And Wants A Fair Split, But Their Trip Plans Blew Up When She Said He Was ‘Stingy And Transactional About Love’
A 29-year-old man who earned about $90,000 said he and his girlfriend had disagreements over a long-planned international trip. The dispute began when a budget debate over an Italian holiday turned into a debate about how the costs should be split.
original poster wrote He said on the r/AmITheJerk subreddit that the disagreement arose when he suggested saving for the trip and splitting the expenses equally. His girlfriend rejected the idea, saying his approach was “stingy and commercial about love.”
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Where Money Views Begin to Conflict
OP wrote that he and his 27-year-old girlfriend have been together for about three years and live separately in the same city. He works in IT and earns around $90,000 a year, while she makes around $55,000. He wrote that growing up in the lower middle class shaped his careful approach to money.
Until recently, he thought his daily expenses were manageable. He pays for most of the dinners car sharesand planned trips, he estimates, cover about 60% to 70% of shared costs. She often buys groceries, pays for brunch, or takes care of smaller expenses.
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Italy Travel Plans Halted Over How to Split the Bill
A few weeks before the mission, the couple began planning their first big vacation together. OP said her girlfriend suggested a 10-day trip to Italy at the end of the summer, an idea she supported. He created a rough budget that included flights, hotels, trains, food and tours, and estimated the total for both to be about $4,500 — excluding shopping.
If they started saving right away, he suggested, they could each put aside about $400 to $450 a month for a few months and split the cost equally.
After reviewing the spreadsheet, he laughed and questioned why he was treating this trip “like a job contract,” noting that he was making significantly more. He added that a serious partner would cover the trip and allow him to contribute in smaller ways.
In response, he wrote that he did not want to create a model in which large expenses would automatically fall on him, especially before moving in together.
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Cost Apportionment Talks Hit a Wall
OP explained financial prioritiesIncluding paying off student loans and building an emergency fund. She wrote that it felt unbalanced that he was paying more than $3,000 while she was paying about $1,500. During this argument, he compared her to his ex, who never asked for holiday money from him.
He said the tension has continued since then. During the meal, he made sarcastic comments about money and his offers of compromise were later rejected.
He suggested dividing expenses by income, for example arranging 60-40 or covering flights, while he would handle the spending money himself. He declined, saying these options showed he was “keeping score.”
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This article She Makes $90,000 and Wants a Fair Split, But Her Travel Plans Are Sailed When She Says He’s ‘Stingy and Transactional About Love’ originally appeared Benzinga.com
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