How to survive a layoff, from ‘All the Cool Girls Get Fired’ authors

Laura Brown: Resting is really important, but don’t hold back. If you spend too much time alone, you will always feel worse. All these bad thoughts combine. So don’t do that, but listen to yourself.

Have coffee with someone. Have breakfast. You don’t need to do it all in one day. After we were both fired, we went to things that absolutely made us sick to our stomachs. And we said, ‘Oh, I don’t think we should do this.’ Calibrate enough to do the odd thing: Reply to an email, take a phone call, Zoom.

Most of the time – breaking news – you feel better when you leave your apartment and enter the world because you’re reminded that there’s a whole world beyond you and your shrinking bank balance. There are these little options that will open up to you. Just be sensible about it. There is no quota you have to reach. Do what we call ‘proof of life’.

Kristina O’Neill: I call her ‘Scarlet F’. I think a lot of people think that when they walk into a room, everyone will turn their heads and look at them like, ‘Oh, he’s here.’ It’s all in your head.

Talking about it helps; It helps to tell it what it is; It helps if you have crew members who are laid off.

LB: Networking is just about getting to know people and finding opportunities. But this seems to come with the mercenary scenario: ‘I’m going to the company party, I’m going to network, and here’s my business card.’ It always sounds so aggressive. I think we all naturally network throughout our careers. My husband calls it ‘Johnny Appleseed-ing’, you’re constantly scattering seeds. And when something like that happens, you get fired or a big change happens, you actually have an orchard that you’ve built with your work and your relationships.

If you are good and worked hard people will show up. There is also much more empathy in our environment, in the workplace and in hiring than ever before.

Number 1, don’t be ashamed of wanting things because everyone is and everyone will want things. Number 2, understand that the way you orient yourself may be different than the way you grew up because there are different options, different programs, different ways to make money.

If you can look at yourself around the corner and think, ‘Oh, there are so many more and different opportunities than what I grew up with,’ and then just listen to yourself a little bit.

Think: ‘Was this my dream job, or did I really not like it that much? Did I feel like myself? Did I feel obliged? Did I feel comfortable? Sometimes you will be shocked by this useful re-evaluation. Your financial priority is always your top priority. But if you have even a little time to spare, sometimes you don’t think about these things while you’re in this rote job.

: If you put all of yourself into your career, everything is gone when the job is taken away from you. We had ourselves, each other, our friends, our family. Even if it’s just loving reading or going to Pilates, very simple things that make you feel human can help.

It’s easier said than done. When you’re in a high-profile role, the way you’re introduced to people is: you’re so-and-so and so-and-so, and suddenly you’re not. What surprised us about our community was that so many people said, ‘We don’t care if you don’t work at that location anymore.’ ‘We still want you to come with us.’ This is a huge confidence boost.

LB: I got fired along with my entire team because of Zoom. I started this conversation about how your value now lies within you. Everything you achieve is yours. Not the company. They didn’t take it from you.

‘Don’t give them the power to think this happened to you; Don’t add this to yourself. Take everything you’ve learned, all your talents, all your skills, they’re yours and you’ll be able to take them somewhere else.’

: I was one of those fired. I was the boss of a team of approximately 50 people. There was uncertainty about who would replace me and what that would look like, which created great anxiety within the team. As much as I wanted to hold their hands, at some point I had to fend for myself.

I admired my team and we had a very close relationship. We got to have a party, which was really nice. We had a closure. I think unfortunately in many workplaces, when things get too sudden, there is no moment for everyone to come together and say hurray. So I highly recommend this even if your workplace won’t be hosting the party for you. Try to have this closure when you leave because I think it helps you to be able to move on.

LB: Thirty-five people will say, ‘This is the best thing that could ever happen to you.’ You’ll want to drown them all. They’re right in the long game.

I think the best thing you can do to be friends with people in situations like this is two things: The human is less evolved. Your friends might say, ‘They suck.’ What an ass —–.’ They can slander your employer all day long in ways you cannot. Your friends can be your worst version.

And then they can help by keeping your social rhythms the same as they’ve always been. Much of our work comes from our social rhythms and our ability to fit in with other people. Being in the outside world creates these opportunities.