I’m a psychologist… here are the subconscious things you are doing that make you instantly less attractive

A psychologist has revealed three subconscious things you do that instantly make you less attractive.

Lexie, who is trained as a psychologist, shared a video on TikTok explaining that there are subtle things that can make you look less attractive to others, even if you don’t realize it.

The first of these is to be overly accommodating, as he explains: ‘Social psychology calls this the likability-competence trade-off.

‘This is when people who never agree or establish their preferences are liked in the short term, but are seen as less likable and attractive in the long term.’

The psychologist continued: ‘Assertiveness, not arrogance, often signals self-respect and autonomy, which is very attractive.’

The second is to avoid eye contact or alternatively force it.

‘Research shows that nonverbal closeness and balanced eye contact increase perceived warmth and competence,’ he explained.

“Too little eye contact often comes across as distrust or disinterest, while too much eye contact often feels intense or threatening,” he added.

The third is to constantly use self-deprecating humor.

‘Personal humor can make you more trustworthy and relatable, but research shows that repeated self-deprecation reduces perceived status and attractiveness over time,’ he said.

Lexie added that people subconsciously ‘associate this type of humor with low self-esteem or low self-image and begin to believe that the jokes you tell about yourself are true.’

Helpfully, the creator also shared what exactly influences your attraction to someone.

According to a psychology expert, you are often attracted to people who are emotionally familiar to you.

He listed his parents or his ex as examples of this.

‘Research on attachment theory shows that people tend to feel stronger attraction to partners who activate patterns they learned earlier in their lives,’ he explained.

‘If you had a very narcissistic father, you can now look for narcissistic boyfriends,’ he listed.

Helpfully, the creator also shared what factors exactly influence your interest in someone (stock image)

She added: ‘If you have a mother who is emotionally absent, you may now look for the same patterns in your partners.’

Lexie explained that your nervous system can confuse familiarity with chemistry, which is why people are more likely to be attracted to someone who makes them feel seen.

‘Research on self-disclosure shows that emotion understood by someone who remembers small details about you, validates your feelings and reflects on your experiences creates stronger attraction and status, appearance and attractiveness,’ he described.

Lexie also said that people are more likely to like someone you don’t know likes you, as opposed to someone you know likes you.

‘Intermittent reinforcement shows that inconsistent affection and attention (too hot and cold behavior) increases obsession and rumination,’ he explained.

‘When rewards are unpredictable, your brain releases more dopamine; “So even though waiting for a text is stressful, it can feel very exciting or intoxicating and isn’t actually a sign that you like them,” she said.

“You might like the feeling of uncertainty,” he said.